bash.org

Capt'n Midnight

#835939 +(54)- [X]
<Jackal>: So I went over to my hippie neighbor's house and asked for a pot holder, he went inside and came out with a sandwich bag...... note to self new best friend.


#835033 +(985)- [X]
Neko: how long has it been since i've seen you?
Rawr: since December 9th
Neko: dammit i wanted you to do the math and tell me how many weeks
Rawr: three weeks, three days?
Neko: oh good thank you
Rawr: why, is someone asking you?
Neko: no
Neko: i was bleeding then, and i need to keep track of when i need to buy more tampons
Rawr: ...
Rawr: you are the least romantic person EVER


#832291 +(1636)- [X]
Far2Paranoid: Knew this guy in HS
Far2Paranoid: Built a box with 2x 350Mhz Pentium2, back in '98
Far2Paranoid: The trick was, filled his bathtub w/ glycerin
Far2Paranoid: Took apart a mini-fridge and used the coils to cool the glycerin to ~40F
Far2Paranoid: Then sunk the box so he could OC the CPUs to 1.3Ghz
Far2Paranoid: Coolest **** I've ever seen.
AlbinoChpmnk: If this was sitting in his tub, how did he shower?
Far2Paranoid: After what I just said, what makes you think he showered?



#831674 +(2136)- [X]
<JayQue> britneys sister is pregnant
<madbox> orly?
<Quazgaa> vaginally, would be my guess


#831458 +(942)- [X]
evilada: damn girls are too confusing about what they want from guys
lantern: Well they certainly know what they dont want
lantern: see now i'm tall, but not athletic, i don't have a full head of hair
lantern: so bam three strikes
evilada: girls dont work like baseball
evilada: if they did, everyone would cheer if you stole second base when no one was looking
evilada: and thats the complete opposite of what happens, trust me


#831285 +(820)- [X]
<komputes> I'm on a unix based operating system which means i get laid as many times as I have to restart my computer
<marky-b> same, but i run windows



#831058 +(2006)- [X]
<Greg> Statistically speaking, there are two popes per square kilometer in Vatican City...





#829456 +(2500)- [X]
<TB> I was depressed last night so I called the Suicide Life Line.
<TB> I reached a call center in Pakistan.
<TB> I told them I was suicidal.
<TB> They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck



#828460 +(1525)- [X]
<+DethFromAbove> rmuser she is not ugly
<+DethFromAbove> she is fat yeah
<+DethFromAbove> but I saw past that
<+DethFromAbove> I don't know what to call that
<+DethFromAbove> I'm not sure if it's love or what
<@rmuser&gt; gravitational lensing


#827929 +(1286)- [X]
Seppukakke: You know, in the Old Testament, God was full of Wroth and Vengeance. You did bad stuff, he rained brimstone down on your ungrateful ass or harrassed your people with 7 plagues.
Seppukakke: In the New Testament, its like he has turned over a new leaf, you don't hear some much of the nasty things he did to his people (because if you believe in it, everyone on earth is his creation)
Seppukakke: You know what happened around the time between the New Testament and the Old Testament?
Seppukakke: He got laid.




#826453 +(1460)- [X]
<cannibal> Im playing tetris, and why won't the square pieces spin like the others?
<therion> ...


#826428 +(1725)- [X]
Blood Reaper: on a scale of 1 to 10
Blood Reaper: how old do you think michael jackson's boyfriend is?


#826340 +(735)- [X]
<apples> the program 'apt-get' is currently not installed. You can install it by typing: apt-get install apt
<fuchoo> lol

Karoma

Some classics there.

More:
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055101345&highlight=bash.org

(Cap'n/Mods, if you want to move this to the AH subforum, feel free to do so)

Capt'n Midnight

#1134 +(368)- [X]
<timmo> remember how i told you guys about that chick
<timmo> i was talking to in the record store
<McMoo> the imaginary one?


#38717 +(263)- [X]
<Foxworth> well, I just saw an ad for a birth control patch
<TRC> yeah
<TRC> they have had it for a while
<Stom> does it go over the vagina?



#572589 +(1721)- [X]
<Kiell> so it was my mate's funeral the other day
<Kiell> the parents asked his girlfriend to choose a song that he liked.
<Kiell> and between them they picked out "Bombtrack" by Rage Against The Machine.
<Kiell> So, just before the coffin disappeared to be cremated, Zach de la Rocha is screaming "burn, burn, yes you're gonna burn".
<Kiell> Funniest. Funeral. Ever.



#789185 +(2310)- [X]

<Belial`> you still cant say anything with certainty though
<Belial`> since the bible has like, a ****ing black hole between jesus being a kid and his preaching days
<Catoptromancy> Phase 1, birth
<Catoptromancy> Phase 2, ???
<Catoptromancy> Phase 3, Prophet



#1728 +(774)- [X]
<Jeffwey> i will buy a camoflouged condom so u wont see me coming