The Escapist : Zero Punctuation Game Reviews

Mr E · 25-03-2009 8:27pm

Really enjoyed that. Running away from your partner with a bigger herb, inventory juggling, and the infinity armour made me laugh out loud.

Stev_o · 25-03-2009 9:12pm

Cunny-Funt wrote: »

nope.

You do realise that it is our national flag? Seriously if you don't think they are Irish i would be slightly worried about your perception of who a Irishman is.

BlitzKrieg · 25-03-2009 11:50pm

Stev_o wrote: »

You do realise that it is our national flag? Seriously if you don't think they are Irish i would be slightly worried about your perception of who a Irishman is.

maybe he's from the *cork republic* and your not a true irishman unless you got a cork accent

Cunny-Funt · 26-03-2009 2:45am

lol nothing about their videos that I've seen indicate them being irish or in Ireland. So theres an Irish flag on a profile page. Some sites display a UK or US flag for me, doesn't mean I'm from either. Anyway if they are irish, from what I've seen, they're trying very hard not to be seen as irish lol

noodler · 26-03-2009 10:06am

Cunny-Funt wrote: »

lol nothing about their videos that I've seen indicate them being irish or in Ireland. So theres an Irish flag on a profile page. Some sites display a UK or US flag for me, doesn't mean I'm from either. Anyway if they are irish, from what I've seen, they're trying very hard not to be seen as irish lol

Bottomline you don't know? Did you not see the flag the first time or something?

It does seem like a reasonable assumption to make.

Anyway, wgas?

Branoic · 26-03-2009 8:43pm

Agreed with everything said in this week's review, so from that perspective it was a good review - but just didn't find it funny at all.

FruitLover · 27-03-2009 12:45am

Cunny-Funt wrote: »

Don't forget the Jill Sandwich

Here's the original:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRpKbfrMvNo

Cunny-Funt · 27-03-2009 2:35am

noodler wrote: »

Bottomline you don't know? Did you not see the flag the first time or something?

It does seem like a reasonable assumption to make.

Anyway, wgas?

Guy links to a video saying these irish lads are gas and the video contains no irish lads. There was no flag. That is all.

FruitLover wrote: »

Here's the original:

****in gas, me and my mates have been doing impressions of all the **** barry says in that vid for years, just from memories of the game.

quarryman · 28-03-2009 3:38am

FruitLover wrote: »

Here's the original:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRpKbfrMvNo

i don't get it.

also i was ready for a killer ending to the 50 cent review based on the comments above. All we got was a South Park rip. I fell off my seat when Garrison said it, the Escapist got barely a smile - fresh jokes please!

kaimera · 01-04-2009 5:13pm

halo wars

stupid no flash for x64 IE8.

/goes to wait for opera10 to load video

pixelburp · 01-04-2009 5:14pm

kaimera wrote: »

halo wars

stupid no flash for x64 IE8.

/goes to wait for opera10 to load video

Haha, nice april fools video. Both reviews are good (even the third one at the end

)

johnny_ultimate · 01-04-2009 7:19pm

What arbitrary silliness - I want a t-shirt with that slogan.

Mr E · 01-04-2009 7:22pm

Loved the rant at the end of the HW review. Makes me not want to play it. Ever.

L31mr0d · 01-04-2009 7:44pm

pixelburp wrote: »

Haha, nice april fools video. Both reviews are good (even the third one at the end )

Pretty good one alright this week. lol'd at his rant at the end.

Yeah, although in fairness, comparing X-Blades to God of War is bound to make it look absolutely rubbish. It's basically a weaker DMC4. Worth a rent if you like brawlers as its pretty short, and for trophy and achievement whores it's pretty easy to get all of them.

Halo Wars, never had any inclination to play it. I'm exactly the same as him though when it comes to RTS's, which is probably why I'm so bad at them. I'll just build the largest, slowest tank over and over again and march them across the map. Works against the CPU most of the time, but I get absolutely trounced in online. I'd also group the genre with RPG as you need a lot of patience for both.

Stephen · 01-04-2009 7:48pm

kaimera wrote: »

halo wars

stupid no flash for x64 IE8.

/goes to wait for opera10 to load video

On Win7/Vista x64 you can run IE in 32-bit mode and then you get flash

*cough*firefox*cough*

kaimera · 01-04-2009 8:24pm

Stephen wrote: »

On Win7/Vista x64 you can run IE in 32-bit mode and then you get flash

*cough*firefox*cough*

but i dont want 32bit IE :P

Retr0gamer · 01-04-2009 10:29pm

He is wrong about one thing, Unskippable is ****.

BopNiblets · 02-04-2009 1:35pm

^ If they did any game's I've played it might be better, never heard of most of the ones they've done.
Also it's basically MST3K for cutscenes.

The Imp at the end of this one was good.

K.O.Kiki · 02-04-2009 1:52pm

BopNiblets wrote:

Also it's basically MST3K for cutscenes.

You're saying that like it's a bad thing.

Mr E · 08-04-2009 5:13pm

First handheld game review in a long time.... GTA Chinatown Wars

thelordofcheese · 09-04-2009 7:40pm

Retr0gamer wrote: »

He is wrong about one thing, Unskippable is ****.

You sir, are a heathen.

Retr0gamer · 09-04-2009 10:07pm

thelordofcheese wrote: »

You sir, are a heathen.

It's ****. These guys do what unskippable does but do it better without even trying.

http://gamevideos.1up.com/video/id/23887
http://gamevideos.1up.com/video/id/21739

Seanbaby is a genius and he doesn't even realise it.

Ardscoil Ris · 09-04-2009 11:43pm

Retr0gamer wrote: »

It's ****. These guys do what unskippable does but do it better without even trying.

http://gamevideos.1up.com/video/id/23887
http://gamevideos.1up.com/video/id/21739

Seanbaby is a genius and he doesn't even realise it.

Have to disagree. I watched all their videos after the Ben went on the show with them and I thought they were quite funny.

johnny_ultimate · 09-04-2009 11:51pm

My problem with Unskippable is that the two or three I've watched have featured cutscenes that aren't 'funny' bad, merely extremely dull. Mystery Science Theatre at least ripped apart films that were indeed hilariously dreadful (and do link me if there is any great unskippable ones - I've only seen Eternal Sonata and Star Ocean), and hence the only way I could watch Manos: The Hands of Fate in its entirety was to listen to a couple of playful robots commenting on the nonsense.

Weak Zero Punctuation though - I do love Chinatown Wars, but while some of his criticisms were valid ones, he was trying a bit too hard. It still stands - he is at his best when dismantling bad games. He isn't quite so funny when he tries to criticise the good ones.

quarryman · 10-04-2009 9:19am

johnny_ultimate wrote: »

Weak Zero Punctuation though - I do love Chinatown Wars, but while some of his criticisms were valid ones, he was trying a bit too hard. It still stands - he is at his best when dismantling bad games. He isn't quite so funny when he tries to criticise the good ones.

exactly what I thought after watching it.

I even prefer it when he reviews games I've never played.

Mark Hamill · 10-04-2009 11:10am

johnny_ultimate wrote: »

My problem with Unskippable is that the two or three I've watched have featured cutscenes that aren't 'funny' bad, merely extremely dull. Mystery Science Theatre at least ripped apart films that were indeed hilariously dreadful (and do link me if there is any great unskippable ones - I've only seen Eternal Sonata and Star Ocean)

I think that Dirge of Cerberus is probably their best.

Retr0gamer · 10-04-2009 11:24am

Mark Hamill wrote: »

I think that Dirge of Cerberus is probably their best.

That was their best? That was as funny as abortion footage.

5uspect · 10-04-2009 1:10pm

That's really not very funny.

thelordofcheese · 10-04-2009 6:51pm

Retr0gamer wrote: »

It's ****. These guys do what unskippable does but do it better without even trying.

http://gamevideos.1up.com/video/id/23887
http://gamevideos.1up.com/video/id/21739

Seanbaby is a genius and he doesn't even realise it.

I think you have that post backwards.

Mr E · 15-04-2009 11:25pm

Madworld on the Wii. Pretty poor, I laughed once....

pixelburp · 22-04-2009 5:05pm

"Tom Clancy's H.A.W.X." this week:

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/689-Tom-Clancys-H-A-W-X

kaimera · 22-04-2009 5:06pm

HAWX

^^ post fail

Jilm · 22-04-2009 5:11pm

Good one this week.

humanji · 22-04-2009 8:13pm

The spoilers at the end were great.

Necronomicon · 22-04-2009 10:18pm

I was a little bored when he was talking highly about it, until he started ripping into Tom Clancy :pac:

pixelburp · 29-04-2009 5:01pm

This week, Siren Blood Curse:
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/696-Siren-Blood-Curse

5uspect · 29-04-2009 5:07pm

Best ending in a long time!

noodler · 29-04-2009 6:59pm

Have this on the HDD but haven't gotten round to it yet. Is the review really spolerific?

Ciaran500 · 29-04-2009 7:11pm

noodler wrote: »

Have this on the HDD but haven't gotten round to it yet. Is the review really spolerific?

Its fairly spoilerific.

SeantheMan · 29-04-2009 7:28pm

Must be where this seasons 24 got its idea ! or vice versa

Dyr · 29-04-2009 9:32pm

a classic

pixelburp · 06-05-2009 5:06pm

This week: The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/714-The-Chronicles-of-Riddick-Assault-on-Dark-Athena

Mr E · 13-05-2009 9:15pm

Valkyria Chronicles.

Safe to say, he didn't like it.

I know nothing about the game, but it sounds terrible from that review.

The general consensus is that its a very good game, so Yahtzee won't be on Sega's christmas card list this year.

Gummy Panda · 13-05-2009 9:19pm

its not working for me but i await Retro and Noodler into this thread.

/popcorn

BlitzKrieg · 13-05-2009 9:23pm

oh dear oh dear oh dear oh dear.

Valkyria Chronicles is the only good game exclusive to the PS3, I am very much

by his review but meh

edit: he didnt like the plot/characters urgo a big element of whats likable about the game goes out the window, sort of expected that.

wait til retro gets the news

Azza · 13-05-2009 10:12pm

Yeah Retro won't like this one bit at all....probably come on ranting about how he overlooked the mature story or something!

noodler · 13-05-2009 11:40pm

Gummy Panda wrote: »

its not working for me but i await Retro and Noodler into this thread.

/popcorn

Facepalm. Well thats why you shouldn't take the skinny little hick seriously.

Where do I begin? One, you can update guns many ways, tere are 3 types of every type of gun, therefore it can't be automatic because you have to decide which gun design you are going to upgrade. Hell, why not make all weapon buying in RPGs automatic whilst were at it?

Autosave huh? Wah-wah game was hard, I didn't have the foresight to save mid mission IN A TURN BASED GAME! and so died. Someone must be to blame and its not me so blame the game.

He complains about the enemy attacking when its your go but your own team are capable of sniping fire when its the CPU's turn. No mention of the gorgeous, and fairly unique, visuals and outstanding music either.

It is not portrayed as a good VS evil conflict-I want to say moreon this but I don't want to spoil anything for people who haven't finished it.

noodler · 13-05-2009 11:45pm

Awful review as is his style these days. Looking for cheap hits and won't get them by being nice. Its times like these I am pleased we have metacritic so people can get some kind of broader consensus so that the unfortunate ( Mr E) don't miss out on a truly outstanding game because of a impatient man with no taste who makes a living trying to shock.

Okay I am done, I'm tagging you in Retro.

pixelburp · 14-05-2009 1:04am

But Yahtzee's not meant to be a games critic, I thought that was clear ages ago. He's a games equivalent of someone like Charlie Brooker; the "last angry man" who makes cranky broadsides whilst linking in some broader point about the medium he loves / hates. Ok, this weeks was poor, but I suspect that's more because he's stuck in the weekly routine of having to review a game.

L31mr0d · 14-05-2009 1:07am

thing is ZP's a biased gamer. He likes FPS's, platformers and easy to play games with little to no learning curve. He's going to hate WRPG, JRPG, MMORPG, RTS... etc, its a given.

I'd be in the same boat as ZP tbh, I hate RPG's, I play video games for story as much as I go to have a kick around to listen to the goalie tell me about his weekend.

In saying that, I'll give VC a go, once my rental copy arrives, as I like turn based strategy, the demo didn't impress, but then I suppose playing 1 mission of X-Com wouldn't give you the sense of the overall game either

The Escapist : Zero Punctuation Game Reviews

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