The Escapist : Zero Punctuation Game Reviews

mayordenis

Jesus people still watch these? this guy needs to be put out to stud, and by stud I'm mean he should be shot.

Jazzy

i agree with him on a lot of points here. you get tanked up far too easily and the second half of the game is a walk in the park. story isnt as good and doesnt have nearly the same meaning as bioshock 1 and you can see the developers really trying super hard to make it like bioshock 1 in this regard but it kinda falls flat.

Tar.Aldarion

pixelburp wrote: »

This week, Mass Effect 2. Without watching it yet, I'm going to go ahead and guess he doesn't like it:

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/1461-Mass-Effect-2

Edit: Hmmm I'm not ... sure.

God I missed watching these...he's hilarious.


Love the dig at eve online at the end of this

Oafley Jones

Jazzy wrote: »

i agree with him on a lot of points here. you get tanked up far too easily and the second half of the game is a walk in the park. story isnt as good and doesnt have nearly the same meaning as bioshock 1 and you can see the developers really trying super hard to make it like bioshock 1 in this regard but it kinda falls flat.

I enjoyed the game, I'd have to say he's on the money with most of his criticisms e.g. 90% of my plasmid use was probably hypnotise.

Blazer

agreed with him as well...was really disappointed with Bioshock 2...played it for about an hour and uninstalled it after that..
reminds me of Deus Ex 2 (another complete failure of a sequel)

landsleaving

He broke Mass Effect 2 for me. I was happily finding combat challenging, then watched his review. Still challenging, only have a pistol and an, um... faster pistol? Then I get the option to retrain with a sniper rifle. He's not wrong, everythings dead in seconds.

Still love it though!

He's also right about the stupid planet scanning, what a boring idea.

I get the impression people aren't happy when he puts the boot into a game they like. Pfft, fanboys.

Genghiz Cohen

Find and scan the planet Uranus....
Easter eggs come early!

noodler

landsleaving wrote: »

I get the impression people aren't happy when he puts the boot into a game they like. Pfft, fanboys.

?

When he puts the boot into games other people like for OTT and downright stupid reasons? Yeah probably.

Gunmonkey

Hrm, I do think Yahtzee is just looking for flaws now rather than having them ruin the game at this stage. Bioshock 2 is a damn good game, not as good a story as Bioshock 1 but the gameplay is far better, and it couldnt be any other way. Bioshock 1 was a landmark in story-telling in the modern games generation, trying to make a better sequel would be like making a sequel to Fight Club that was better than the the first.

As for the abundance of useless plasmids, its the same story with Fallout 3, just max out Small Guns, Medicine, Lockpicking, Hacking and Sneak with max Strength and Endurance and you were untouchable. I had the most fun in Fallout 3 when i broke the norm and went with random ideas like only melle weapons, a max Intelligence character and such. Trying random stuff in Bioshock 2 would be fun, using only the drill up till you get Drill Specialist is one I want to do.

Retr0gamer

Gunmonkey wrote: »

Bioshock 1 was a landmark in story-telling in the modern games generation

Eh, not really. It basically had 1999's System Shock 2's story but not as good. It was told in the same way and the twist was fairly similar as well.

landsleaving

noodler wrote: »

?

When he puts the boot into games other people like for OTT and downright stupid reasons? Yeah probably.

Just because you like it doesn't mean it's not without its flaws. Pointing out the stuff that doesn't work even in a good game is fair enough, and he doesn't have to like the games other people like! It's meant to be comedy imo, not serious, so I'd hardly take it as a real review, otherwise I'd never buy a thing. I've some of the games he's hated, but still laughed at the stupid stuff (as I pointed out about ME2)

My point is people seem to enjoy when he's hard on a game they don't like, but get upset if it's one they think is great. Which is taking things a bit too seriously. It is only a game after all, and only one opinion.

landsleaving

Genghiz Cohen wrote: »

Find and scan the planet Uranus....
Easter eggs come early!

Off to do that now so! (This better not be an ass joke.)

Grimebox

I'm not sure why but I want to buy Battlefield Bad Company after watching that

anonymous_joe

Gunmonkey wrote: »

Hrm, I do think Yahtzee is just looking for flaws now rather than having them ruin the game at this stage. Bioshock 2 is a damn good game, not as good a story as Bioshock 1 but the gameplay is far better, and it couldnt be any other way. Bioshock 1 was a landmark in story-telling in the modern games generation, trying to make a better sequel would be like making a sequel to Fight Club that was better than the the first.

Then don't?

Sometimes a sequel's not worth it.

Bubs101

Gunmonkey wrote: »

Hrm, I do think Yahtzee is just looking for flaws now rather than having them ruin the game at this stage. Bioshock 2 is a damn good game, not as good a story as Bioshock 1 but the gameplay is far better, and it couldnt be any other way. Bioshock 1 was a landmark in story-telling in the modern games generation, trying to make a better sequel would be like making a sequel to Fight Club that was better than the the first.

As for the abundance of useless plasmids, its the same story with Fallout 3, just max out Small Guns, Medicine, Lockpicking, Hacking and Sneak with max Strength and Endurance and you were untouchable. I had the most fun in Fallout 3 when i broke the norm and went with random ideas like only melle weapons, a max Intelligence character and such. Trying random stuff in Bioshock 2 would be fun, using only the drill up till you get Drill Specialist is one I want to do.

The drill is by miles the best weapon in the game. Big Sisters and Daddy's are simple to kill once you get close

Jazzy

yup. drill wins. ice drill > ice wrench... and i loved that ice wrench.

ive said it a million times on this thread but ill do it again, Yahtzee is always right

Jazzy

just want to reassure you:

if you dont like yahtzee you are thick

and to double reassure you.

if you dont agree you are double thick

noodler

Jazzy wrote: »

just want to reassure you:

if you dont like yahtzee you are thick

and to double reassure you.

if you dont agree you are double thick

Like Yahtze? What does that have to do with it? His reviews have just gotten sh1t, thats all.

The above would have been slightly funnier if you had left out the 'double' bit - kind of OTT.

landsleaving wrote: »

Just because you like it doesn't mean it's not without its flaws. Pointing out the stuff that doesn't work even in a good game is fair enough, and he doesn't have to like the games other people like! It's meant to be comedy imo, not serious, so I'd hardly take it as a real review, otherwise I'd never buy a thing. I've some of the games he's hated, but still laughed at the stupid stuff (as I pointed out about ME2)

My point is people seem to enjoy when he's hard on a game they don't like, but get upset if it's one they think is great. Which is taking things a bit too seriously. It is only a game after all, and only one opinion.

Same kind of speech as your last post.

You seem to be missing the point - he was funny alright but some people do take his reviews seriously it seems. Its not even about defending individual games, another point you seem to have missed in many of the criticisms here, it is just that he doesn't really give a balanced view on a game. Rambling on about a minor flaw in an otherise outstanding game for 2 minutes and 45 seconds of a 3 minute review can be a bit misleading - thats his niche though, he couldn't really compete with other reviewers if it came down to giving a balanced opinion via the medium of the written word.

Anyway, I don't believe for a minute hates all the games he says he does.

Jazzy

ahhh drunk jazzy. i love that guy

landsleaving

noodler wrote: »

Same kind of speech as your last post.

You seem to be missing the point - he was funny alright but some people do take his reviews seriously it seems. Its not even about defending individual games, another point you seem to have missed in many of the criticisms here, it is just that he doesn't really give a balanced view on a game. Rambling on about a minor flaw in an otherise outstanding game for 2 minutes and 45 seconds of a 3 minute review can be a bit misleading - thats his niche though, he couldn't really compete with other reviewers if it came down to giving a balanced opinion via the medium of the written word.

Anyway, I don't believe for a minute hates all the games he says he does.

Are we saying the same thing in different ways? Because I agree with you. I still find him funny enough though, but I only found these videos a few weeks ago and haven't watched all of them so maybe I'll get bored.

noodler

Jazzy wrote: »

ahhh drunk jazzy. i love that guy

He's alright.

landsleaving wrote: »

Are we saying the same thing in different ways? Because I agree with you. I still find him funny enough though, but I only found these videos a few weeks ago and haven't watched all of them so maybe I'll get bored.

Perhaps, I just don't think criticising him is because of a blind love of any particular game. Was very disappointed with his review of Valkyria Chronicles for instance, but a quick check on Metacritic or whatever will show that this game was actually very highly rated by critics.

James Howlett

"Balances stealth and action and makes them both equally fun...

...But you don't call a Sewage Technician to come redecorate your bathroom and you didn't come to me to hear about how a game is good."
Zero Punctuation - Batman Arkham Asylum Review

I actually prefer when he reviews a terrible, less popular game and just goes to town slating it. Makes it good fun to watch.

Jazzy

noodler wrote: »

it is just that he doesn't really give a balanced view on a game.

oh lol

pixelburp

noodler wrote: »

Perhaps, I just don't think criticising him is because of a blind love of any particular game. Was very disappointed with his review of Valkyria Chronicles for instance, but a quick check on Metacritic or whatever will show that this game was actually very highly rated by critics.

But Yahtzee can't really be classified as a critic, not in the conventional sense. I doubt very much anyone decides whether to buy a game or not based on his four minute rants, and I doubt Valkyria Chronicles' low sales were down to him.

Retr0gamer

I don't mind him picking on a game if it is populist and picking out it'sflaws but when he attacks something like Valkyria Chronicles, which really deserved more exposure, and puts people off buying it (and if you read the comments in the forums on the escapist he did) then I do have a problem. It wasn't that he was wrong about it, it's a great game with flaws, but it's like picking on the swotty unpopular kid in class with the freckles, glasses and ginger hair. I just thought that from a persons who's only positive review was championing psychonauts he would have known better. If he rips into deadly premonition he's an asshole.

Stercus Accidit

He is a jackass.

Otacon

Retr0gamer wrote: »

...but when he attacks something like Valkyria Chronicles, which really deserved more exposure, and puts people off buying it (and if you read the comments in the forums on the escapist he did) then I do have a problem...

Isn't that the fault of the people who take his reviews seriously though? He clearly makes these reviews to entertain and not much else. He rips apart good games and bad. Its just not funny listening to a game being praised [his review of Silent Hill 2 is an example of this].

Stercus Accidit

Otacon wrote: »

Isn't that the fault of the people who take his reviews seriously though? He clearly makes these reviews to entertain and not much else. He rips apart good games and bad. Its just not funny listening to a game being praised [his review of Silent Hill 2 is an example of this].

He throws in spoilers like there's no tomorrow though also, chasing the elusive (to him) gag.

There should be a warning before his videos, (this video will contain plot spoilers and sh1t jokes)

pixelburp

Stercus Accidit wrote: »

He throws in spoilers like there's no tomorrow though also, chasing the elusive (to him) gag.

There should be a warning before his videos, (this video will contain plot spoilers and sh1t jokes)

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice ... it should be taken as given he's gonna throw in spoilers, just to p*ss off people. And if you're not finding it funny, then I suggest ceasing watching them

Jazzy

i fail to see how you could think yahtzee isnt funny after watching his 50 cent blood on the sand review and his duke nukem one. sure a girl i know watched the 50 cent one and she doesnt play games at all and she laughed her ass off

pixelburp

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/1516-Aliens-vs-Predator

Aliens vs. Predator this week; god I hope he puts the boot in, as the more I think about that game, the angrier I get.

landsleaving

Jazzy wrote: »

i fail to see how you could think yahtzee isnt funny after watching his 50 cent blood on the sand review and his duke nukem one. sure a girl i know watched the 50 cent one and she doesnt play games at all and she laughed her ass off

The 50 cent one was fantastic I agree, but he should stick to the crap games, it's just funnier. I don't care if he rips into a game I like (and he has), I just find it's better when he has loads of complaints. Especially since his gimmick is saying lots fast, so it works to have lots to say.

Mr E

Aliens Campaign: Humans tasty, lets eat them all, yum yum.

Some good lines this week.

Creature

Yeah good one this week. He's spot on as always.

Lol "Marines get sent in to take care of it, the same way bits of bread get sent into ponds to take care of the ducks"

pixelburp

It may have been National Drink-youself-blind day here, but it seems there was another Zero Punctuation released:
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/1528-Heavy-Rain

grizzly

Just seen the Bad Company 2 review. It's a shame he doesn't check out the multiplayer side of games. I've played over 20 hours of the multiplayer and less then 1 hour of the single.

Burgo

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/1546-Battlefield-Bad-Company-2

James Howlett

Just watched his Dante's Inferno review, thought it was priceless when he referd to the poem as "history's first recorded work of self-insert fan-fiction" with "and then I met Virgil and we became best friends" scribbled on the wall.:D

Mark Hamill

Final Fantasy 13 this week.

He admits at the start he only played it for 5 hours, but as someone who has cleared it, I have to say I agree with most of what he says.

Woow_Aqualung

Final Fantasy XIII this week. Wasn't one of his best but still good.

Sarky

The end credit animation is EXACTLY how I feel about Final Fantasy.

BigEejit

Hehe, "more shaky cam than a paul greengrass film projected onto a fat mans tits"

super_furry

He's spot on with FFXIII, the first 12 hours really are dross. I can't bring myself to continue it now.

Mr E

God of War III today.

humanji

He must have a cold.

calex71

humanji wrote: »

He must have a cold.

Thought the same myself

Mr E

Red Steel 2 ..... wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ......

johnny_ultimate

Reboot reference?!

I feel old now.

Mr E

Just Cause 2...

calex71

He was spot on about getting 100% in it, I gave up at around 40% when I realised i was going to take another 10 hours to just get to 50% and by that stage I had lost the will to live