The Escapist : Zero Punctuation Game Reviews

tman

bizmark wrote: »

part 4 of the final fantasy 8 review is just classic couldnt stop laughing

That was fantastic alright, loved the wild wild west bit!:p

monkeyfudge

I liked part 7.

"A Whore's Limit Break uses Anal"

humanji

monkeyfudge wrote: »

It gets funnier as it goes along but doesn't seem to have an ending.

I think he gets a bit too hung up on the whole 'drawing' thing in FF8.... I don't remember it being overly essential at all to do it to that extent.

Yeah, he dragged that out a bit, but it gets so funny after it (the Mentos ads and "Dude, she's 18 and she whips people. I've to go to Tiahuana and pay women like that to pay attention to me!" bits had me in stitches).

bizmark

The thing review is great as well random irish danceing animation glitches ftw

kaimera

New ZP

Pure genius. stars for him!

Genghiz Cohen

Heh, sandpaper condom.

Stephen

/waits to go home and watch ZP

tick tock

mayordenis

he should really spell the name of the game correctly

johnny_ultimate

He is quite right about the dodgy Wii controls, but I think I enjoyed the game far more than he did.

And I think the wrong spelling was a joke

Stephen

Yeah, its **** & Sticky.

5uspect

This guy is a genius and must be stickied for those that do not know.

mayordenis

johnny_ultimate wrote: »

He is quite right about the dodgy Wii controls, but I think I enjoyed the game far more than he did.

And I think the wrong spelling was a joke

yea funny joke spelling "zack & wiki" "zach & wiki" hilarious stuff, can't believe that went over my head i'm such an idiot. . .

Mr E

I liked the dig at Roberta Williams (yes I'm old and yes I remember her sh1t games)

monkeyfudge

Yep.. I could never understand why there were so many of the bloody things... who exactly was she sleeping with?

johnny_ultimate

mayordenis wrote: »

yea funny joke spelling "zack & wiki" "zach & wiki" hilarious stuff, can't believe that went over my head i'm such an idiot. . .

Aha didn't notice the misspelling at the start, just noticed it changing as the review progressed (Wack and Zichi and so on).
Apologies!

monkeyfudge wrote:

Yep.. I could never understand why there were so many of the bloody things... who exactly was she sleeping with?

She was a feminist. If people didn't give her money to make Kings Quest 45: The Search for Richard Nixon's Gold she just accused the publishers of sexual harrassment.

Peteee

It had a reference to munging, the man is a genius and should be given a comedy medal or something.

Mark Hamill

New Review: Army of Two

kaimera

**** yes!

awesome smiley used. legend :pac:

Class again

balkieb2002

Excellent up to his usual good standards and he did well to cut down on the gay jokes after his first rant.

By the way I love



Best Smiley Face Ever!!

humanji

I love the way he seems to be getting more and more pissed off that Australia is getting games months after they're released everywhere else.

johnny_ultimate

Today on Zero Puncuation: No More Heroes
Pretty much sums up my opinions on the game perfectly - a nice mixture of crazy cool nuttiness and poor but possibly satirical gameplay flaws.

Great last line to the review.

Smellyirishman

Am I the only one having difficulties watching the ZP reviews the past two weeks? Difficulties as in the embedded video just is not showing up. I've tried Opera and IE.

witnessmenow

Is the videoegg thing java based, try updating it(not sure where im getting this from)

Stephen

the ZP videos are flash based. Worked fine for me anyways - in Firefox.

kaimera

Totally forgot about this yday.

Excellent review once more. He didn't do a K7 review did he?

Stephen

No, not yet. The only game from the previous generation he's done that immediately comes to mind is Psychonauts.

madrab

and fable, you can find it on youtube

humanji

Have to say that I think this weeks one is one of his best. He reviews Condemed 2.

5uspect

He really does hit the nail on the head every time. I've only played Condemned 1 but the mini review of that really summed it up. I must really finish it... its too scary tho...

pixelburp

Haha, I watched todays and the biggest laugh for me was his comments about Indigo Prophecy / Farenheit. I remember playing that game myself and going "wtf" at the total plot change & insertion of the generic-ancient-cult strand. Classy,glad I Wasn't the only person who played that game

balkieb2002

Finished Indigo Prophecy / Farenheit myself and did find the cult thing rather odd.

Back on topic, one of my favourite ones yet. Started off slowly but once if hit the main review the laughs kept coming. Loved the bit about the serial killer in your house :P

yoyo

I thought this weeks one was absolutely brilliant So true aswell haha, great review

Nick

monkeyfudge

It was more the crap with the super advanced AIs walking about the place that confused me with Fahrenheit.

Stephen

Excellent review.

The original condemned was indeed pants-fillingly creepy :eek:

Peteee

Superb review as usual.

And hell yes to the ZP T-shirts

pixelburp

monkeyfudge wrote: »

It was more the crap with the super advanced AIs walking about the place that confused me with Fahrenheit.

Oh yeah, I remember. As if ancient mystical cults weren't enough. Oh but then let's just throw in some Matrix superpowers and full on sex for absolutely no reason!

Sorry, off topic

Spunge

Funny review. I have condemned 1, mean to play it just have too many games to play.

mcgovern

It was one of the funnier ones alright, but I felt he missed out on some of the games biggest flaws e.g. walk 5 steps away from evidence area to get a better view, and you are now stuck behind a 2 ft box which you aren't allowed climb over so you can't complete that puzzle.
Or that it just wasn't as scary as the first one, with very few suprises.

Dyr

I had to go out and buy a gamepad to try play indigo prophecy on PC and i didnt get beyond the first episode, i got sick of the whiney character and the button mashing tasks.

BTW anyone know if the little horned baddie icon that ZP uses is his own creation?

BlitzKrieg

ooo

He just did Brawl today.

I enjoyed it...he's at his most spiteful and thus entertaining...though i say he'll get a bit of a reaction.

Stephen

Yahtzee wins again \o/

5uspect

He's not a real reviewer really... oh wait

Mr E

Controversial..... but probably fair!

kaimera

I've been trying to load the vid for the last 30 mins using 2 different browsers.

johnny_ultimate

Ha! Probably my favourite one in quite awhile. For all its hilarious excessiveness, there is probably a glimmer of truth in the points he makes (particularly about button bashing, Nintendo fanboys, unlockables and Marth). Quite biting stuff, sure to outrage some of the more rabid Nintendo fans :pac:

steviec

Yea I think that was his best review yet, brilliant stuff.

Davidius

Don't really get the gripes about the unlockables. Takes you less than three hours to get Sonic really if you go the 10 characters on Classic route. Also it only takes 15 matches on Shadow Moses to get Snake. All characters can be unlocked through multiplayer.

His point about the single player is pretty fair though. It's pretty sub-par. It also only really becomes about button-basher if everybody who's playing is ****. Button bashing as Snake, that's a recipe for instant loss.

Good review, not the best though. Particularly because I don't agree much with it. :pac:

Necronomicon

Very enjoyable review!

I haven't gotten my hands on the game yet, but a lot of his points are applicable to the GC version and I loved that, so I'll just enjoy Yahtzee at his bitter best rather than take it too seriously

ShaneU

i prefer this brawl review

http://kotaku.com/370995/fake-brian-crecente-reviews-smash-bros

witnessmenow

Davidius wrote: »

Don't really get the gripes about the unlockables. Takes you less than three hours to get Sonic really if you go the 10 characters on Classic route. Also it only takes 15 matches on Shadow Moses to get Snake. All characters can be unlocked through multiplayer.

His point about the single player is pretty fair though. It's pretty sub-par. It also only really becomes about button-basher if everybody who's playing is ****. Button bashing as Snake, that's a recipe for instant loss.

Good review, not the best though. Particularly because I don't agree much with it. :pac:

He warned us about the likes of you...!!!