13yr old wants laptop

dazftw

13 is a bit young.. When I was 15 - 19(19 now) I had a pc I spent all my home time in my room cause I had what I needed in the room games/internet/msn/music/movies.. When I look back on it.. it was a waste to spend all that time while I could have spent it with my mother at times like for dinner lol I use to bring my dinner to my room! but hey I didnt turn out to be a loner headcase and i learned more from the computer than I did in school! Anyone else have this lol?

but then again from 10 up there basically adults they want new hair. ears pierced etc etc if you must give it to him do it in moderation! I remember being that age wanting that stuff! Do you know why? Cause every other kid had it, but it my day it was like a PS2 lol

Explosive_Cornflake

I only finished a computer sceince degree last year,and I didn't have a laptop until I was in 3rd year. I'd be worried about what he could get up to. As mentioned before, at 13 he can probably get around any safe guards. I know i could of, and kids seem to know more these days.

di11on

Explosive_Cornflake wrote: »

...As mentioned before, at 13 he can probably get around any safe guards. I know i could of, and kids seem to know more these days.

That's why you need a double barrelled solution:

1. Hardware and software safeguards and
2. Confine useage to a common living area.

Without 1 and 2, a laptop is an absolute no no for me.

I suppose you can have most of the benefits and fewer of the risks if you went with a dekstop pc. I suppose there isn't any need for a 13 year old to have their own laptop. They can do all they want with a dekstop. The things they can do with a laptop they can't do with a desktop, you probably don't want them doing!!!

DinoBot

well we have decided not to get him the laptop.

Thanks for the replies. I was against getting one in the first place but I wasn't sure if I was being "old" in my decision, but after reading the replies I know I'm not
My concerns are valid.

So we told him not to even ask again until he is 16 (at least it gives us a bit of breathing space) He was okay with it. I think its the idea of getting something new rather than the actual thing itself that kids like !!

Victor

I would say no, too young, too expensive and you won't be able to 100% control it. What happens if it is removed from the house?

One teenager was allowed a laptop if they put a real effort into studying fo the Junior Cert (effort rewarded, not results as such).

Demonique

Tell him he can have a lap top if he pays for it himself

mackydacky07

This Is My Opinion.

The internet and computers are a perfect learning tool.

I always had a PC in my house from the early days of MSDOS for all those computer nerds out there.

If he wants a laptop tell him, yes he can have one if he pays for half of it. Obviously say to him, get one that isnt too expensive, maybe €600.00 so if he destroys it, it won't be as annoying as if it is a €1,000 pc, however still show him the value of money. He should pay half to maintain it, if it breaks down he should pay half to have it fixed, etc. Also set up your home internet connection so he can only access it on a short cable, i.e. in a family room.

Relax this policy by 16, he wont be discovering anything that isnt on Channel 4 at 12pm on a Friday night or his friends mobile phone.

Typically people will think I am maybe a bit relaxed with my ideals on the subject, maybe I am, all I know is I have been using with computers for 12 years, I now have my own computer business than earns a good living and if my parents hadn't given me the opertunity to learn how to use a computer and the internet earlier I would have been totally wrecked every morning in school, as I would have had to work in a garage rather than working at home instead of watching tele designing websites.

In conclusion, let him have it, restrict how he uses it.

Hotblack Desiato

paulksnn wrote: »

One option that I haven't seen mentioned is to get him the laptop, but remove any wireless router in the house. This leaves him free to play games or whatever, but without any access to the internet, unless he comes down stair and uses a cable to connect directly to the router.

That just will not work unless you live in a one-off house, preferably a very remote one. I can pick up several unsecured networks from my neighbours with a stronger signal than my own!

You yourself must get up to speed on all things to do with MSN messenger and all similar programs. You need to be able to enable logging, and check the logs, as well as spot gaps in the logs, if the 13 year old figures out how to disable logging.

That's just it, people buy the gadget (not just a PC or laptop) then turn a blind eye. My 7 year old nephew was bought a 15s PS2 game for his birthday :rolleyes:

IMHO the 'educational' benefits of laptops at third level are way overstated, never mind secondary or primary. Few people really need one, but they're a kind of status symbol ('my daddy/boss bought me a cool laptop' - thirtysomething employees are every bit as bad as teenagers ) and even if you lock down your network, it can be brought somewhere with a signal/plugged into ethernet.

Hypocrite alert - I didn't really really need a laptop either, but it was a birthday present to myself

Hotblack Desiato

mackydacky07 wrote: »

I always had a PC in my house from the early days of MSDOS for all those computer nerds out there.

I had a computer when I was 13 too, but the worst thing I could do on it was play pirated games copied on a mate's Amstrad tape-to-tape hi-fi. It's just not comparable to giving a teenager a connection to the internet, it's an adult medium by adults for adults (or in some cases, by perverts for perverts?) and any other use has to be approached with great caution.

It's kind of funny that the 80's marketing lie - stick a child in front of a computer (playing a game 90+% of the time) somehow makes them into an IT genius - hasn't quite died off

Quality

I wouldnt see a problem with the laptop, However I would be very careful with what he can view on it.

A girl I know bought her 10 year old a laptop, and they gave her unrestricted access to the net. Her mother checked her history on the laptop one day and was shocked by what she had accessed.

I allow my dd (8) supervised use of my laptop.

What about them net nanny's are they any use?

mikemac

Quality wrote: »

What about them net nanny's are they any use?

They're ok but not great.
Imagine the child wants to do a project on animals. Any products I've seen instantly ban the Blue Tit bird.
And getting info on horses can be blocked too due to keywords like "ride" or "whip".

Maybe they have advanced since I've seen them. Wasn't impressed.

echosound

ninja900 wrote: »

I had a computer when I was 13 too, but the worst thing I could do on it was play pirated games copied on a mate's Amstrad tape-to-tape hi-fi.

Ditto


OP I see you have come to a compromise re the laptop, sounds like a fair one. Personally speaking, I would be of the opinion that a rota system where each child gets to use the family PC in a common area (for supervision) for a set amount of time would be the best option.

I don't think there is any harm in kids learning that everything they ask for doesn't just fall from the sky into their laps, gives them a better expectation in life for when they start to get older and fly the nest - the idea of budgeting and saving for something, the idea of having to share items and not having everything their own way etc. Not saying your 13 yr old is like that, just I don't personally think every item (especially large, expensive items!) should be handed up on a plate as they'll be in for a shock when they become young adults.

I'm also of the opinion that PCs and the internet are valuable tools for anyone, young or old, but for now, a shared family PC is more than sufficient for two younger children. My brother in law's two kids have access to one PC, and there's only the usual old rumblings about "get off, it's my turn now" now and again, and the older teen (just gone 16) is a natural whizz, so much so that when he did a bit of work experience in an architectural office as part of his curriculum, he picked up CAD and other programs/applications amazingly quickly. Having his own personal laptop or not didn't hold him back

DecTenToo

I have a while to go before my daughter wants to use the pc for anything other than a drawing program or downloading dora/fifi pictures to colour in, but as regards restricting PC time, there is stuff out there that will allow you to set up usage and access timetables per child. My brother in law uses it to great effect.

Toto Wolfcastle

My parents bought me a graduation present of a laptop last year, but only because I was about to move away for a Postgrad and needed one in my apartment. Before that, I shared the family PC with a sister who was also in college and needed to type essays, etc, a brother in secondary school with projects to research, etc, a father who was a local expert on Tripadvisor and had to be on regularly, and a mother who updated her budget daily on the computer. I still managed to get through college, I still managed to use the computer.

That's how things were, and still are, in my house. We share things. Kids need to learn this. Compromise is important.

I'm so glad you decided not to get the laptop. In my opinion even 16 is too young. The earliest someone should need a laptop is college, especially if they live away from home and can't rely on computers in college.

And I don't think this is an old-fashioned opinion.

harryharry

i have a laptop! sometimes look up naughty things! but its not the end off the world! he's going to do it anway

di11on

janeybabe wrote: »

...I'm so glad you decided not to get the laptop. In my opinion even 16 is too young. The earliest someone should need a laptop is college, especially if they live away from home and can't rely on computers in college. And I don't think this is an old-fashioned opinion.

The internet access issue aside (which can be managed), I really don't see why people perceive this as an inappropriately large present. If we were talking about a PS3 which costs more than some laptops, I don't think people would have the same problem with it. Why? A laptop has the potential to be so much more constructive than, say, a PS3 or an XBOX live.

Don't get me wrong, a PS3 is a huge present also and I think the suggestions about junior paying for part of it and/or the present being given as a reward for some large, sustained effort are good ideas.

Toto Wolfcastle

di11on wrote: »

The internet access issue aside (which can be managed), I really don't see why people perceive this as an inappropriately large present. If we were talking about a PS3 which costs more than some laptops, I don't think people would have the same problem with it. Why? A laptop has the potential to be so much more constructive than, say, a PS3 or an XBOX live.

Don't get me wrong, a PS3 is a huge present also and I think the suggestions about junior paying for part of it and/or the present being given as a reward for some large, sustained effort are good ideas.

I think a PS3 is too big a present too. But the idea about it being a reward of paid for in part by the child is a good idea.

My 16 year old brother got a PSP for Christmas last year, which is cheap compared to a PS3 or laptop. My mother has ended up taking it away from him a good few times as a punishment for bad behaviour. (He's fairly immature for his age.) This has resulted in him behaving better and he's even started to read for pleasure which is something he has never done before.

So while I still think a laptop is too big a present, it could be used to teach the child about responsibility, etc. The child should know that he/she cannot have everything he or she wants, and that it can be taken away as easily as it is given, more easily in fact.

Also, my main point is that a 13 year old does not need a laptop! Especially if the issue is that the child cannot share the family PC with a sibling. That's just letting the child know that they don't have to share, that they can have whatever they want and don't have to share it.