Starting conversations and what to say??

steven2008

I was just wondering what people say or do to start a conversation or to break the ice!!

Im not drinking at the moment (cause of medication) and I found it easier to talk when having a drink!

I dont want to use this as a crutch and i want to be able to have a conversation without drink.

Any thoughts people??

barneysplash

steven2008 wrote: »

I was just wondering what people say or do to start a conversation or to break the ice!!

Im not drinking at the moment (cause of medication) and I found it easier to talk when having a drink!

I dont want to use this as a crutch and i want to be able to have a conversation without drink.

Any thoughts people??

Yeah, I know what you mean. I don't drink because of meds as well.

I wouldn't drink if I could anyway.

It's interesting to see how much or little you have to say to some
people when you're sober and they're on the sauce.

I try to talk about things that the other person is interested in to
help get things going.

unreggd

Well whats the scenario?

Are you talkin about startin a conversation with a stranger/ chattin up a woman?

Theres endless scenarios so post an example of one ye'd want advice for!


For me, say i was at a friends party on my own, and didnt know everyone, but they knew eachother
I'd usually start by askin them how they know my friend, are they in college/workin, whereabouts they're from, wha music they're into

Chattin up the ladies, i'd usually drop a comment about the club/music, introduce myself, then take it from there


You'll prob be an awkward twat at first, but once ye get the hang of it its whopper!

estebancambias

Just star off by saying:

ASL?

are u hot?

will u go out with me?


Na seriously, I have the same thing, I find conversations with drunk people to be a worthless exercise to be honest. Just ramble off and ask questions of a generic nature.

steven2008

just conversation in general, i tend to be quiet anyway, and i hate awkward silences, and i dont like asking questions!! (because sometimes i only ask questions and it gets really annoying, asking them and listening to them!)

its not chatting up lines im looking advice for, i want to be able to have a conversation, find out what people they are like and form a bond with them instead of coming out with stupid and cheesy chat up lines... (that never work!!)

for example, at a party or bar, with whom i know only a few, whenever i introduce myself im ok with telling them what i do, but after that i dont know what to say!! and the conversation really ends up about study or work which is really really really boring!!

we go to partys to get away from work not to talk about it!!

I am not really interested in politics, or soccer or most other sports, which are common topics of conversation, science is no no when out on the town,

i like music but i can never remember the names of songs and bands, i like the songs i like, and the beat and the tunes to the music but i like a lot of music which i dont know the name of, so i cant really talk about that.

people say to talk about the environment your in (eg, if i like the food, bar, the dress sense of others around you), but i dont want to come across negative, because once i get going i can be very critical.

i dont care about celebrity gossip and there lives mean nothing to me,

For someone who has nothing to talk about i have a lot to rant about!!

any other tips people??

Pets..... especially dogs!!! You gotta love talking about them.
The weather heh heh.
Cooking/ your favourite restaurant? Astronomy?

unreggd

OsciiBoscii wrote: »

Pets..... especially dogs!!!

Just dont say "omg ur so cute, you look like my dog"

I think conversation is easy if you listen and take your cues.

Earthhorse

I'm not sure this thread is suited to NDC but anyway...

steven2008 wrote: »

i hate awkward silences, and i dont like asking questions!!

Either get comfortable in the silence or speak up. You can't have both. Question and statement is the basic template for most conversations, particularly those with people you've just met.

steven2008 wrote: »

introduce myself im ok with telling them what i do, but after that i dont know what to say!! and the conversation really ends up about study or work which is really really really boring!!

I hate talking shop too. You can probe further into the work convo., ask them how they came to be doing what they're doing etc. and this can open up further avenues of conversation. A person's occupation can say a lot about them even if it's only that they have no particular interest in a career.

steven2008 wrote: »

I am not really interested in politics, or soccer or most other sports, which are common topics of conversation, science is no no when out on the town

I'm not about politics or sport either but I can hold a conversation about them, at least for a little while. Why is science a no no? Plenty of interesting phenomena in science to talk about, you just have to time it right and pitch it in the appropriate manner.

steven2008 wrote: »

i like music but i can never remember the names of songs and bands, i like the songs i like, and the beat and the tunes to the music but i like a lot of music which i dont know the name of, so i cant really talk about that.

So the one thing you tell us you’re passionate about you can't actually talk about. C'mon man if you're really interested in talking to people there must be something you’re passionate about and can hold court on. If not, you need to start making the effort to memorise band and song names.

steven2008 wrote: »

people say to talk about the environment your in (eg, if i like the food, bar, the dress sense of others around you), but i dont want to come across negative, because once i get going i can be very critical.

Fair enough, but if you inject your criticism with a healthy dose of humour people will be amused rather than beleaguered. Given that you have trouble holding a conversation perhaps wit isn't your forte but you can improve in this area if you really want to. Just think of a clever way of describing the decor, food or what have you, it doesn't have to be Wildean, just a littly witty.

Like most things you'll only get better with practise so I hope some of this helps.

af_thefragile

"Hi, I brough a used Flux capacitor recently and assembled it using a hydogen reactor for power. I fired it up and it was working fine, the tubes were warming up at a reasonable rate as I passed 40 miles an hour. I noticed as I hit 50 the capacitor started to give off a strange peircing noise and I slowed down. I was wondering if you knew anything about flux capacitors and could help me out here..."

Breaks ice with a wtf??!? smile...!

star-pants

af_thefragile wrote: »

"Hi, I brough a used Flux capacitor recently and assembled it using a hydogen reactor for power. I fired it up and it was working fine, the tubes were warming up at a reasonable rate as I passed 40 miles an hour. I noticed as I hit 50 the capacitor started to give off a strange peircing noise and I slowed down. I was wondering if you knew anything about flux capacitors and could help me out here..."

Awh I would find that cute!

I think some people have given good advice. If I go out most of the people around me tend to be drinking, it never bothers me actually. But if you want to talk to people, just say hi, or who cares if it's a cheesy line, if they're of good humour they'll have a smile anyway, I don't know anything about politics, I know a little bit about sport, and I do know science - but once you say you're a geologist to people they start asking silly questions sometimes lol. Just bring up the place you're in or something that happened... anything random. Everyone knows it's not always easy to just start a conversation

Genghiz Cohen

I love pointing out awkward silences!!
Just standing/sitting there, silence ensues......

"Awkward silences, huh?"

Always gets a smile.
like this one ->

af_thefragile

^good one,
I might try that out someday!!

johnnyskeleton

steven2008 wrote: »

For someone who has nothing to talk about i have a lot to rant about!!

any other tips people??

There you are! Posters in this forum have stated that they hate when people ask them why they don't drink, but you can string a long conversation out of this one little thing. You could talk for a while about the reasons why you are not drinking, and these will almost certainly lead to another converstaion e.g.:

I can't drink because I'm on medication -> talking about the reason for the medication.

I'm not drinking for health reasons -> lead to talk about lifestyles etc

I'm not drinking because I don't like the drink culture -> leads to an analysis of the drink culture (and / or the pub you're in) and can be extended into things you do like (reading, going to the cinema etc).

Finally, you can always just pretend to be interested in whatever the other person wants to talk about - i.e. if they start talking about celebrity gossip explain to them that you don't know much about it and let them ramble on about it until they hit something that interests you.

NonDrinkersClub

johnnyskeleton wrote: »

There you are! Posters in this forum have stated that they hate when people ask them why they don't drink, but you can string a long conversation out of this one little thing. You could talk for a while about the reasons why you are not drinking, and these will almost certainly lead to another converstaion e.g.:

I can't drink because I'm on medication -> talking about the reason for the medication.

I'm not drinking for health reasons -> lead to talk about lifestyles etc

I'm not drinking because I don't like the drink culture -> leads to an analysis of the drink culture (and / or the pub you're in) and can be extended into things you do like (reading, going to the cinema etc).

Finally, you can always just pretend to be interested in whatever the other person wants to talk about - i.e. if they start talking about celebrity gossip explain to them that you don't know much about it and let them ramble on about it until they hit something that interests you.

I would never want to start a conversation by telling someone I barely know that I was on medication and the reasons why! In fact, I usually cover it up by saying I'm allergic to alcohol. I don't like people prying so I tend to avoid this entire conversation if possible. I'm sure I'm not alone here.