Infractions not being doled out according to the charter

6th

Get a room.

Cabaal

Dame if your so unhappy with how boards is run why not setup your own message board and then you can rule it the way you want

Terry

green123 wrote: »

why not ?
tell the truth, give an honest opinion.
its a ridiculous forum if we are only allowed to post what people want to hear.

Not a parent, don't read the parenting forum, so I may be wrong in the following statement.

If that forum is the same as the rest of boards, then you are not only allowed to post what people want to hear.
You might not want to hear this, but my experience on AH has taught me that it is very rare that people agree with everything posted by others.

Before I was an AH mod, I always disagreed with people who wanted to legalise cannabis. While I was an AH mod, I did the same. I am no longer a mod on AH, but I will still disagree with those people.

They don't want to hear my arguement, but I make it and I haven't been banned for it yet.

It's all in the wording and the attitude you use when posting.

Being aggressive and / or insulting people will never win an arguement.

ExpectantMum

Firstly, id like to introduce myself.. I am the OP from the parenting thread where im presuming this all kicked off.
I just came across dame's... "counter- thread" can i call it??? and that lead me here. I know my reply may not be welcome here but id like to clear up a few things or at least shed a little light on my situation. I had been willing to let this go, but seeing the reaction from people i just had to post.

Just like to say i feel totally grateful that there are people out that are willing to stick up for me without knowing much about me, it shows great compassion which i respect, admire and adore in people, but i also feel disgusted that others who kno just as little about me can jump to conclusions and make me feel like utter crap.


Macros42, thanks for your post. It made me feel a better about where i stand. Dame had me doubting my capabilities as a future mother in the thread, and i really felt crappy...

Origionally posted by Hagar
"Without getting embroiled in the whys and why nots of the banning I have to say that post quoted is bang on.
Dame also seemed to be very helpful quoting various regulations etc and generally being encouraging to the op up to the point where it became apparant that the op had planned all along to live off Social Welfare.

My 2c."

It was apparant in my first post that i had stated i was looking for help from social welfare... i didnt become apparant half way through. I also thanked dame for when she was being helpful, i never took anything anyone said on that thread for granted. It was when she started basically accusing me of "sponging" that made me feel bad. And putting me in the stereotypical category of young single mothers who do actually try to screw the system.

Originally posted by Hagar
"From reading the ops responses she seems to be very clued in to what she is and isn't entitled to. She seems to have spent a lot of time sussing out the best way to finance herself at public expense and to me she just seems to be looking for people to fill in any gaps she might have missed. She seems to have only started working after she got pregnant in the hope it would somehow help her benefits position. I don't see much in the way of "How will I cope with a bad feeder or colic" but I do see a lot of "Where can I get cash from without working for it".

Yes, I spent a lot of time "sussing out" what i was "entitled" (my favourite word appartantly, according to dame, although I only use it once in the title and once in a post) to because i was not looking for an easy way out of working, i am unfortunatly unable to work due to the circumstances of my pregnancy and i was looking for some assistance to get my life as a mother off to a good start, if i could work i would and i dont appreciate basically being accused of laziness...

And i didnt know i was pregnant when i started work... i dont know how it "seems" like that at all... people and their jumping to conclusions...

I don't think OP would have posted in Politics or Humanities so it's hardly fair to expect me to go there. I think she knew her audience in Parenting would be more sympathetic. I think the thread was a cynical manipulation of the good nature of the posters in Parenting. Dame bought it for a while then saw that the thrust of the thread was very cash rather than baby oriented and called the OP on it.

Ok, again. In my original post... i said.. i am a boards newbie!!!!! i had no clue what type of audiences are where, and in which forums!!! I just went with the first thing that came to my head, i do admit that it was the wrong place to post it, but i didnt kno any better at the time, so please stop with this over-analytical bull!!!!!

Calling someone a "proper little madam" must be the least abusive abuse I have ever seen.
Worth a warning ? Yeah OK. Worth a ban? Not my call."

And, qouting just that phrase "proper little madam" makes no sense wthout reading the rest of the thread. i wouldnt even have considered that abusive myself... it was her continous acting as if i was beneath her just because i cant provide for my baby(or myself until the baby is born) without help from social welfare.

Originally posted by Thaedydal
"Personally I think if the op is not in a situation to be able to have the child then the child should be put up or adoption or she should have had an abortion or even better have tried her damnest not to get pregnant,
but I can't post that in parenting and Ireland post the laundries scandals encourages young women to keep thier babies
and the state provides somewhat for the child."

And if you had posted what you thought, Thaedydal, I woudn't have taken that as abusive, i would have taken that as your opinion. I also took dames opinions and suggestions until it started to get a bit... how can i say... bitchy, i s'pose.

originally posted by green123
"the particular girl deserves alot worse abuse for planning to rip off the system"

Again, how can u jump to the conclusion that i was planning to rip off anything?????

originally posted by green123 "well i would say this about the expectant mother, and her plans to take the system for a ride
and i dont see why that cant be pointed out"

And again....

origianlly posted by green123
"this is a terrible attitude

why should i have to pay extra tax so people like this can get hand outs ?"

I worked, i paid tax too, we pay tax for lots of different things, one of which is when you are in a bad situation and need some help.... now im unable to work... surely askin for assistance from the people i paid money to while i was working isnt considered a hand out, right?????

originally posted by green123
"well this is how people feel
should we hide this and pretend what she is doing is ok ?

intentionally setting out to screw the system is wrong
no harm letting her know this"

Again, with the assumptions.... it makes me sick.

Calina

green123 wrote: »

most people would not be happy with this person screwing the system

That's assuming that everyone thinks she is screwing the system. As has been pointed out several times, the young woman concerned also contributed to the system in her own right. Now she needs assistance and that is what the system is there for. It operates as a safety net and not everyone who benefits from the safety net of that system starts out with the intention of planning a wholesale exploitation of the system.

DeVore

I've not read into this whole debacle but I dont think educating yourself as to your entitlements is ripping anyone off...surely its simply informed citizenship. If you're objection is that such benefits shouldnt be made available in that manner, you're argument isnt with the OP.

DeV.

Hagar

From the OP it seems as if she only started working after she discovered she was expecting. There was no mention of employment previous to the pregnancy. If this is accurate it looks like no contribution was ever made to the system by the op, it makes the whole affair look like a last ditch effort to get in benefit just before the child is born. Very cynical, very calculated IMHO.

ExpectantMum

Hagar wrote: »

From the OP it seems as if she only started working after she discovered she was expecting. There was no mention of employment previous to the pregnancy. If this is accurate it looks like no contribution was ever made to the system by the op, it makes the whole affair look like a last ditch effort to get in benefit just before the child is born. Very cynical, very calculated IMHO.

Im am only 20. I did not have the oppurtuntity to work when I was in school, as i live in the country and lacked transport and because of family circumstances. I was in college until march of last year but had to leave due to personal problems.. I worked over the summer part time and off the books. Then I realised i should probably start looking for a more permanant job.... I got one. Then 3 weeks into starting I found out I was pregnant.... does that demystify anything for you??????? Please tell me how that is cynical and calculated???:mad:

Nerin

Im am only 20. I did not have the oppurtuntity to work when I was in school, as i live in the country and lacked transport and family circumstances. I was in college until march of last year but had to leave due to personal problems.. I worked over the summer part time and off the books. Then I realised i should probably start looking for a more permanant job.... I got one. Then 3 weeks into starting I found out I was pregnant.... does that demystify anything for you??????? Please tell me how that is cynical and calculated???

its not. don't mind them,this is being blown way out of proportion/reality.

AckwelFoley

Cat pics are sooo 2007.




Anyway, on the serious note.. not all mods, mod exactly the same, its only natural.. i vote you live with it - hardly the cause of death to african babies

ExpectantMum

thanks i know myself its not. But i think im pointing it out more for the fact i want these overly judgemental people to see the lack of reasoning behind their thought process...

Nerin

haha i dunno, alot of em don't see sense.
but i wish you luck etc and hope the meanies didnt scare ya off boards

excuse me while i post a cat picture to snyper...

Hagar

Your last post has given a lot more information than the first. It can't be easy for you. Nevertheless from an outsiders viewpoint it looks typical of a person abusing the system. You even admit that the only work you have ever done before your pregnancy was off the books. You had never paid anything into the system up to 3 weeks before you discovered you were pregnant but yet now you want other people tax money to be handed to you, tax money you were not prepared to pay yourself. It's just not right.

You should not have to go through this penniless and alone. I empathise with the situation you are in and I wish you well but at the end of the day the mother and father are responsible for the providing for of their children. Have you contacted the father of the child? He has moral and financial obligations to you and the child that he must fulfil.

ExpectantMum

Hagar wrote: »

Your last post has given a lot more information than the first. It can't be easy for you. Nevertheless from an outsiders viewpoint it looks typical of a person abusing the system. You even admit that the only work you have ever done before your pregnancy was off the books. You had never paid anything into the system up to 3 weeks before you discovered you were pregnant but yet now you want other people tax money to be handed to you, tax money you were not prepared to pay yourself. It's just not right.

You should not have to go through this penniless and alone. I empathise with the situation you are in and I wish you well but at the end of the day the mother and father are responsible for the providing for of their children. Have you contacted the father of the child? He has moral and financial obligations to you and the child that he must fulfil.

first of all what do you mean by I was not prepared to pay taxes? of course i was prepared to pay them what kinda accusation is that??

Anyway, do you know exactly where the tax you pay goes???? Do you know FOR SURE how the government is spending the money you are paying them? no. No one really does. But heres the difference between me and you, I had no problem working, paying tax to the government that some of which might just have been going towards financially assisting some one in a worse of situation then me at the time. Im not gona knock on there door and say "hey... that money the governments giving you to help... i paid some of that. I want it back." which is in a roudabout way exactly what you are saying when you say you shouldn't have to pay taxes for to keep other people...

Im joinin in the cat posting...

Wibbs

As I'm somewhere to the right of Mussolini I can see where dame is coming from. A safety net is a good thing for those who slip from the high wire of life, but when when have become a safety net culture, that's not healthy for any society. It's not just milking the system, it's stupid lawsuits too. It's never your responsibility, or fault. When someone else will always cover your mistakes, how will you ever learn.

All that off topic bullshít aside, dame pushed it. Not so much in the original but getting all muppety after the fact.

Hagar wrote: »

Your last post has given a lot more information than the first. It can't be easy for you. Nevertheless from an outsiders viewpoint it looks typical of a person abusing the system. etc........

I agree with this and yea where is "daddy" in all this? Does he not work?

ExpectantMum wrote:

Anyway, do you know exactly where the tax you pay goes???? Do you know FOR SURE how the government is spending the money you are paying them? no. No one really does etc....

Highly dubious argument. A common one though.

Hagar

ExpectantMum wrote: »

I worked over the summer part time and off the books.

ExpectantMum wrote: »

first of all what do you mean by I was not prepared to pay taxes? of course i was prepared to pay them what kinda accusation is that??

You said yourself you worked but off the books. Claiming to be be prepared to pay taxes but not actually paying them doesn't make you a taxpayer.

ExpectantMum

Hagar wrote: »

You said yourself you worked but off the books. Claiming to be be prepared to pay taxes but not actually paying them doesn't make you a taxpayer.

It was my first job and the only one available to me at the time.. it doesnt mean i wasnt prepared to pay taxes... would have gladly but it was bascially volunteer work that id get paid for occasionly... to gain some experience in the hopes that I would have a better chance doing well in an interview for a "tax paying" position.

Nerin

feisty and posting cat pix :eek: shes got my vote!

You said yourself you worked but off the books. Claiming to be be prepared to pay taxes but not actually paying them doesn't make you a taxpayer.

ok, for the love of god, SHES 20!!!!!!!
she's the exact same age as me. i've worked 4/5 jobs since i was 15 and some where on the books some off.
that tends to happen when your younger,stop using it as ammunition to attack her.
and the tax i payed? i say give it to her and young mums like her.
....or give it back to me lol

Fajitas!

This could do with being in PI...

togster

[IMG][/img]

Marksie

Fajitas! wrote: »

This could do with being in PI...

What... and let "La grand *dame* sans merci" loose.

Oh not you dont

Nerin

lol i can see the carnage now...

Nevyn

Fajitas! wrote: »

This could do with being in PI...

The original thread in the parenting forum, but when dame was banned from there she tried discussing it else where,
first work&jobs and there here.

I don't think feedback should be used to try and move the topic to a forum where a) it does not belong and b) so that a baned person can view and reply to it.

I would ask the admins if they have the time to merge the relevant posts by the ops and others ( ie the likes of hagar ) in the thread which is here
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055218197

AckwelFoley

Personally, im not sure feedback is a good idea fullstop.

If mods decide an action and the member does not like it, they should discuss it via pm.

Having mods to spend endless pages of explaining their decisions imo is pointless, except for the odd catpic's oppertunity.

Nerin

feedback is pretty much used now as a public courtroom....

togster

I think the poster should exhaust all avenues first. PM the mod and politely.
Like snyper said, the mods shouldn't have to defend themselves for pages and pages.

Sherifu

snyper wrote: »

Personally, im not sure feedback is a good idea fullstop.

If mods decide an action and the member does not like it, they should discuss it via pm.

Having mods to spend endless pages of explaining their decisions imo is pointless, except for the odd catpic's oppertunity.

Sometimes there's actually feedback about the site. *shock* Like the two most recent ones about the nav menu and one person who couldn't access the site properly.

ExpectantMum

Thaedydal wrote: »

The original thread in the parenting forum, but when dame was banned from there she tried discussing it else where,
first work&jobs and there here.

I don't think feedback should be used to try and move the topic to a forum where a) it does not belong and b) so that a baned person can view and reply to it.

I would ask the admins if they have the time to merge the relevant posts by the ops and others ( ie the likes of hagar ) in the thread which is here
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055218197

surely you dont have to go through the bother:)
I wont post here about that topic again... i have nothing more to say so i am finished on my part.

Hagar

Thaedydal wrote: »

( ie the likes of hagar )

Esel

Wibbs wrote: »

I agree with this and yea where is "daddy" in all this? Does he not work?

Technically, there is no 'daddy' until the baby is born.

Nevyn

Hagar wrote: »

Yes you and your respectful inquiries

DeVore

I think this thread is being used to discuss the topic rather then to feedback about the incident. Closed.

DeV.