Another breakup thread

Clare Bear

Cazlou wrote: »

+ 1,000,000!!!!!!

Snap!!

Caddy

Hey girls, thanks for the messages of support. It was very comforting to be able to read them first thing this morning in work.

Last night was quite tough, seems as though I’m a bit of an insomniac. He’s moving out to his mothers today until I find somewhere to live so at least I don’t have to be around him anymore, it wasn’t doing me the slightest bit of good.

I might just take you up on the offer of Thursday night, providing that I’m not viewing/moving into a new apartment. I haven't been out on a girly night in Dublin in quiet some time, it'll be interesting.

Jinxter, I did feel as if something wasn’t right in the relationship at all. It didn’t feel very secure for the last few months which left me in a kind of a limbo as to how it would work out. It was a really horrible feeling. Loads of times when he’d been particularly standoffish I really wanted to finish it myself. The only thing that kept me with him was the comfort of still having a boyfriend so that I didn’t have to venture out into the unknown and start again. I’m glad now that it’s finished although I’m probably on one of my highs at the minute, that can change quite easily. The best thing you can do chick is to sit him down and talk to him, really mean business when you go to talk to him so he cannot simply brush it away. As the others said if the worst comes to the worst and youse do break up then it could well be a good thing, you don’t need to be in a relationship where the other person is making you feel unappreciated.

missmatty

Great advice there Caddy. The only thing I can say is that even a breakup is not as bad as that horrible feeling you get in your stomach when you know something is really badly wrong in a relationship...sometimes it's even a relief.

Clare Bear

Good for you Caddy, you're being very strong. The only thing worse than being dumped is being in a relationship where you like the person more and you know deep down it's not going anywhere. Would be lovely to have you along on Thursday, will just be a small group I'd say, nothing too mad and a few of us have been made recently single so if you want to have a bitch or if you'd rather not talk about it at all, it's all good, we know how you're feeling. I'll PM you my number anyway and if you fancy it great and if not hopefully you can make it another time. Who knows, you might even have fun Hope you're doing okay today.

Karen_*

Clare Bear wrote: »

Caddy your head doesn't have to be sorted to come along....I met Karen the day after I got dumped and she did me the world of good....and went out a week after with a few other girls from here and even though I cried twice (fooking Coppers playing his two favourite songs!!!!!) it was good to get out and meet new people. I'm not exaggerating when I say people on here seriously saved me and I doubt very much I'd be half as good as I am now if it wasn't for them....I'm someone who for some reason just could not talk to close friends and family about it so instead I poured my heart out on a message board to thousands of people! But thank God I did, it was the best thing I could have done.

So if you want to come along (even this Thursday if you want to get out for a few hours there'll be a few of us out) anytime, do, they're a lovely bunch and did me the world of good.

I hope you'll be okay hun, it's the worst feeling in the world but you'll get there xx

Ahaha it was like the blind leading the blind the first night Clare. I'd just finished crying into my wine in the restaurant. Have to say, you cheered me up loads:D

Jinxter I know its really scary going through what you're going through but you have to ask yourself what you would say to a friend if she were in your position. You know you deserve to feel loved and cherished. Breaking up is hell but its the beginning really. Because there's nothing as soul destroying as being in a relationship where you feel that you're the only one giving anything to it . I've been with someone who obviously did not want to be with me and its was an awful lot worse than being on my own. Every day felt like a rejection or affirmation that I wasn't good enough and I never smiled. I was totally miserable.

Karen_*

missmatty wrote: »

Great advice there Caddy. The only thing I can say is that even a breakup is not as bad as that horrible feeling you get in your stomach when you know something is really badly wrong in a relationship...sometimes it's even a relief.

So true....

Babette08

Caddy wrote: »

Hey girls, thanks for the messages of support. It was very comforting to be able to read them first thing this morning in work.

Last night was quite tough, seems as though I’m a bit of an insomniac. He’s moving out to his mothers today until I find somewhere to live so at least I don’t have to be around him anymore, it wasn’t doing me the slightest bit of good.

I might just take you up on the offer of Thursday night, providing that I’m not viewing/moving into a new apartment. I haven't been out on a girly night in Dublin in quiet some time, it'll be interesting.

Jinxter, I did feel as if something wasn’t right in the relationship at all. It didn’t feel very secure for the last few months which left me in a kind of a limbo as to how it would work out. It was a really horrible feeling. Loads of times when he’d been particularly standoffish I really wanted to finish it myself. The only thing that kept me with him was the comfort of still having a boyfriend so that I didn’t have to venture out into the unknown and start again. I’m glad now that it’s finished although I’m probably on one of my highs at the minute, that can change quite easily. The best thing you can do chick is to sit him down and talk to him, really mean business when you go to talk to him so he cannot simply brush it away. As the others said if the worst comes to the worst and youse do break up then it could well be a good thing, you don’t need to be in a relationship where the other person is making you feel unappreciated.

Ah you poor thing Caddy - must be really hard to be a stranger in a new country not being able to call on family or friends.

On the postive sounds like you're getting your perspective already. We all know when you're in a situation, emotionally tied up you cannot see the woods for the trees...heart overruling the head and all that. Right now your priority should be to grieve the loss - 3 years is a long time and depending on how much you lose yourself in someone (some do more than others) you have to rediscover yourself. Every experience you've had in the last 3 years will prob be tied in with him - lots of memories/experiences. He did seem to be your only support in Dublin so i'm guessing you were quite dependent on him? The best thing you can do is allow yourself to wallow - cry your heart out and then when you're all cryed out pick yourself up, dust yourself down and i guarantee you'll wish that the breakup happened sooner than it did.

Good luck with the apartment hunting - hope you find somewhere lovely. As far as friends go - this forum means that your problem is solved. No shortage of understanding girls on here who love to party, drink coffee & watch movies . When your ready of course. Like clare said, the girls on here are a lovely bunch. You should try to come along on Thurs - nothing expected of you...if you want to cry all night hankies will be at the ready

Caddy

Thanks Babette, I am sort of lucky in the respect that I can already see that we weren’t suited in the last few months. If I had been madly in love with him and it all broke off suddenly then I’d probably be wallowing in a huge sniveling ball of self pity.

I have a place to look at this evening, hopefully it works out so I can move in and start making it my own (there’ll be no more feckin smelly socks on my floor!)

I have Clare’s number now and a few invitations to go out on Thursday, hopefully I’ll meet youse all then.

Clare Bear

Good girl, the L Team will take care of ya Hope tonight went well and you find somewhere great asap.

MayMay

Dec and Jan are a shocking time for break ups, everyone seems to be breaking up Hope you're okay Caddy.