Stupid Moments of 2008!

pd101

the dee wrote: »

I've poured milk onto my dinner instead of into a glass at least twice

I've poured myself a glass of milk and put orange juice on my cereal a couple of times:o

Pighead

Mirror wrote: »

Sick burn.

Sick burn? Where the hell are you kids picking up this mashed up Americanised version of our sacred language? Pigheads guessing its America. Stop being a slave to MTV. Embrace Yeats, Wilde, Beckett and O Casey. Reject DJ Yo Dawg, The Sup Brothers et all.

Mirror mirror on the wall,
who's mutilates our language,
worst of all,
its Mirror my friend,
who speaks with no grace,
his americanisms,
they have no place,
on an irish forum,
he's making a mess,
send the fcuker over to boards.us

RxQueen

Pighead wrote: »

Sick burn? Where the hell are you kids picking up this mashed up Americanised version of our sacred language? Pigheads guessing its America. Stop being a slave to MTV. Embrace Yeats, Wilde, Beckett and O Casey. Reject DJ Yo Dawg, The Sup Brothers et all.

Mirror mirror on the wall,
who's mutilates our language,
worst of all,
its Mirror my friend,
who speaks with no grace,
his americanisms,
they have no place,
on an irish forum,
he's making a mess,
send the fcuker over to boards.us

hahahaha!!:D

missingtime

Pighead wrote: »

Sick burn? Where the hell are you kids picking up this mashed up Americanised version of our sacred language? Pigheads guessing its America. Stop being a slave to MTV. Embrace Yeats, Wilde, Beckett and O Casey. Reject DJ Yo Dawg, The Sup Brothers et all.

Mirror mirror on the wall,
who's mutilates our language,
worst of all,
its Mirror my friend,
who speaks with no grace,
his americanisms,
they have no place,
on an irish forum,
he's making a mess,
send the fcuker over to boards.us

Wacker

I was in Newcastle for the UFC a few weekends ago, and I was in a bar the night bfore the show. One of the referees was there (Herb Dean, for those in the know) and loads of people were getting photos with him. I got one, and as he was walking away, I started saying "and good luck tomorrow!" when I started second-guessing myself. He's a referee, so what does he need luck for? Of course, this whole thought process was happening while saying the word 'good'. I ended up saying "Good work tomorrow" and then almost collapsing at the realization of my own capacity for stupidity.

Duggy747

I woke up one morning, looked at my clock, had a panic, and got dressed down the stairs. Rang a taxi (Cuz I used to go to work by the bus), they told me they don't work "that early", I foam at the mouth with anger, leave the house completely oblivious to the fact it was still dark, look at the time on my phone, I stop, and then I realise it was 6:45a.m. :mad:

Same thing happened to me a few weeks later!!

I think I need new batteries for my body clock!

zuutroy

Pighead wrote: »

Sick burn? Where the hell are you kids picking up this mashed up Americanised version of our sacred language? Pigheads guessing its America.

I think MI6 are hiring

MOH

Have come close a few times to ordering the wrong things in an inappropriate place, but luckily manage to stop myself,e.g. lunchtime in canteen, about to order pint of Mille instead of bottle of coke. Or (rarely) in pub, almost ask for ham sandwich instead of pint. Seems to happen when v. tired and running on autopilot.

Hellm0

I moved to the US. I miss Ireland damnit. Complain though we may its really a great country!

Adam

Pighead wrote: »

Sick burn? Where the hell are you kids picking up this mashed up Americanised version of our sacred language? Pigheads guessing its America. Stop being a slave to MTV. Embrace Yeats, Wilde, Beckett and O Casey. Reject DJ Yo Dawg, The Sup Brothers et all.

Mirror mirror on the wall,
who's mutilates our language,
worst of all,
its Mirror my friend,
who speaks with no grace,
his americanisms,
they have no place,
on an irish forum,
he's making a mess,
send the fcuker over to boards.us

Haha, my dearest Pighead! I have ever been in awe of your endless wit and sharp mind. Since my early days of 2004, you had me chortling away over boards, rather than studying for my leaving cert! You have been my scholarly undoing, but I wouldn't change it for the world!

Long live the Pighead!

Sam Vimes

my sister was going to glasgow for a weekend and she booked her flights in the wrong order so she was flying to dublin two days before flying to glasgow. Then she paid to have her flights changed and afterwards realised it would have been cheaper to just buy a new ticket.

a mate was having a house party and we were all well oiled. Something small had gone missing in the grass and he needed a torch to find it. He was going around looking for it, knowing he'd had it a second ago. He was accusing people of stealing it and accusingly waving.......the torch in their faces

i slept in a friends house after a nights drinking and the next morning i couldn't find my passport. I had himself and his mother searching the house for it. I eventually gave up, then on the bus on the way home i found it in my back pocket.

randylonghorn

Mirror wrote: »

Ok, I was in the kitchen just now, peeling a banana. My intent was to extract this rich, creamy yellowness from it's snug cocoon entirely, before consuming it in delight. My hands shook as I tugged gently on the skin, section by section...

A Freudian psychoanalyst could get a thesis out of that post alone!

A couple of years ago, my local papershop and pharmacy were right beside one another, even had similar shopfronts and internal layouts. I was forever wandering dozily into the pharmacy on my way to work and asking for 20 JP Blue! >.<

At least I never asked for a 12-pack of johnnies in the papershop!

I am forever pouring coffee from the big dispener in work into cup-a-soups, pot noodles etc. instead of hot water. I did it once and never noticed til i started to eat it.

- bo -

We got a new dishwasher and it was put where the washing machine used to be. The I came down a couple of mornings later after a shower and put my towel and clothes in the dishwasher.

i_love_toast

ye i booked flights to krakow from dublin when ALL of my friends booked theres from belfast i know im an edjit i spent the a day looking for the hostel by myself!

longshanks

or when someone (you love) tells you they love you, and wants to spend all their years with you, sell up, have kids and the rest. but you're thinking '****, i'm playing cards with the lads on friday' so you say 'relax, its only sex girl'.

sinlessgunner

Possibly the dumbest thing I did this year was pour myself a glass of water and literally just as I was about to drink it my brother called me and I poured the whole lot over my shoulder as I turned my head.......Can't remember the last time I laughed so hard.

The best one ever though was a girl I used to go out with. Came out with some gems in her time!! For example one day going into Tesco she was commenting on wheelchair places and she goes "aren't some people awful?.......like how is a poor person supposed to park their wheelchair there when some idiots park their cars in the spaces......"

Words failed me on that one. And another classic was when we were driving by the American Embassy in Ballsbridge one day I told her that it was legally America there and she says "Oh is the weather better there?....."

Soon after that I realised what a complete tool she was and the rest is history!!

Adam

sinlessgunner wrote: »

Possibly the dumbest thing I did this year was pour myself a glass of water and literally just as I was about to drink it my brother called me and I poured the whole lot over my shoulder as I turned my head.......Can't remember the last time I laughed so hard.

The best one ever though was a girl I used to go out with. Came out with some gems in her time!! For example one day going into Tesco she was commenting on wheelchair places and she goes "aren't some people awful?.......like how is a poor person supposed to park their wheelchair there when some idiots park their cars in the spaces......"

Words failed me on that one. And another classic was when we were driving by the American Embassy in Ballsbridge one day I told her that it was legally America there and she says "Oh is the weather better there?....."

Soon after that I realised what a complete tool she was and the rest is history!!

She must have been a demon in the sack! :rolleyes:

madbev90210

Was standing in a shop in a daze when a woman came in and said "does anybody own a little red car, coz its just rolled accross the road" I couldnt get out of their quick enough! Thankfully it was a one way street, and empty at that time...
and theres nothing anyone can say to make me feel worse, Im still mortified at my stupidity:(

Board-in-work

My worst travel fcuk up was probably when I went to Oxford for the weekend. So, I miss the flight over, and have to buy a seat on the next flight, about a hundred quid. I could have dealt with that, but there was more - lost my phone in a taxi in Oxford (actually I knew exactly where it was - it was in the back seat of a black cab in Oxford City Center - if anyone finds it......). Then follows a hazy, drunken weekend in town - worst hang over ever trying to get back to the airport for the return journey. Yes, I missed the flight. Bought another, but they didn't have any to Shannon - so I had to fly to Dublin. Arrive late at night - bus it over to Limerick (home) - except I cant get home, as I've left my house keys in the car (genious idea -sure I wont need them in Oxford, better leave them in the car in case I lose them.). No bus to the airport at that time of the night. Taxi up to mine, to check if my flat mate is home - nope. he's probably back home in Dublin. Cant phone him to check - so taxi down to a hotel in town. Oxford great fun, but strangely expensive.

Adam

Board-in-work wrote: »

My worst travel fcuk up was probably when I went to Oxford for the weekend. So, I miss the flight over, and have to buy a seat on the next flight, about a hundred quid. I could have dealt with that, but there was more - lost my phone in a taxi in Oxford (actually I knew exactly where it was - it was in the back seat of a black cab in Oxford City Center - if anyone finds it......). Then follows a hazy, drunken weekend in town - worst hang over ever trying to get back to the airport for the return journey. Yes, I missed the flight. Bought another, but they didn't have any to Shannon - so I had to fly to Dublin. Arrive late at night - bus it over to Limerick (home) - except I cant get home, as I've left my house keys in the car (genious idea -sure I wont need them in Oxford, better leave them in the car in case I lose them.). No bus to the airport at that time of the night. Taxi up to mine, to check if my flat mate is home - nope. he's probably back home in Dublin. Cant phone him to check - so taxi down to a hotel in town. Oxford great fun, but strangely expensive.

Wow... did you laugh at someone in a wheelchair before you left?

Board-in-work

My friends won't let me organise flights / holidays anymore.....

AckwelFoley

Im too embarressed to say even on the interweb

Adam

snyper wrote: »

Im too embarressed to say even on the interweb

Oh come now, we're all friends here! Did you put it in the wrong hole?

Stench Blossoms

Started kicking the crap out of my sister outside a Garda station. Oops.

Adam

orla wrote: »

Started kicking the crap out of my sister outside a Garda station. Oops.

Noice! :cool:

Stench Blossoms

Mirror wrote: »

Noice! :cool:

She was just after being arrested and I had to leave work and go down and get her. Lost my job because of her. Bitch deserved it.

Adam

orla wrote: »

She was just after being arrested and I had to leave work and go down and get her. Lost my job because of her. Bitch deserved it.

That's hardcore... what did she do??

Stench Blossoms

Mirror wrote: »

That's hardcore... what did she do??

Stole a pair of shoes from Penny's. A €4 pair of shoes!

And she had €20 in her pocket.

Adam

orla wrote: »

Stole a pair of shoes from Penny's. A €4 pair of shoes!

And she had €20 in her pocket.

So I'm guessing she's ~15??

Adam

Can I have her number?

¬_¬

Stench Blossoms

Mirror wrote: »

So I'm guessing she's ~15??

13.

Another one i could add is falling asleep in the library in college when I should have been studying. Oh well.

Or putting Arch on my laptop - stupid peer pressure!

Stench Blossoms

Mirror wrote: »

Can I have her number?

¬_¬

085 -urapedo

AckwelFoley

Mirror wrote: »

Oh come now, we're all friends here! Did you put it in the wrong hole?

Would you believe me if i said that was EXACTLY word for word what i was going to post for a laugh!! Great minds.. great minds

No, to be honest i had sex with a ginger chick last weekend because i wanted to get me hole.

*ginger eww, me feels sick*

randylonghorn

Well, at least you got the chick bit right, that's an improvement!

Mirror wrote:

Did you put it in the wrong hole?

Why would that be a stupid moment?

That's a "sorry, luv, total accident, honestly! ... but sure seeing that it's in there now, we might as well stick with it, yeah?" moment ... >_>

Adam

randylonghorn wrote: »

Well, at least you got the chick bit right, that's an improvement!

Why would that be a stupid moment?

That's a "sorry, luv, total accident, honestly! ... but sure seeing that it's in there now, we might as well stick with it, yeah?" moment ... >_>

lulz, true that, but let's say it was your first time and you had no intention of going there, and then yer missus yelps and your frozen in mid thrust thinkin oh sh1t what have i done wrong please dont tell me to stop i've waited 30 years (¬_¬) for this and then she looks at you with pure hatred and lamps you in the face.

You wake up in A&E with stiches over your left eye and a sore hole from where you landed on the dildo you used to warm her up with....

That's stupid.

randylonghorn

Mirror wrote: »

... and a sore hole from where you landed on the dildo you used to warm her up with....

Ok. I don't often say this ... but you've definitely had experiences which I cannot claim ... thank God!!

And honestly, 30 isn't THAT old to be a virgin ... the important thing is not to let it get you down, or sap your self-confidence!

And do keep in practice, just in case it ... I mean, for WHEN it happens!

Adam

randylonghorn wrote: »

Ok. I don't often say this ... but you've definitely had experiences which I cannot claim ... thank God!!

And honestly, 30 isn't THAT old to be a virgin ... the important thing is not to let it get you down, or sap your self-confidence!

And do keep in practice, just in case it ... I mean, for WHEN it happens!

Why you not lulz for me?!! I r funneh! :mad:

And I'm twenty one, and a good five years past that fateful night.

Also, there was no dildo. Unfortunately. Buttplugs ftw! ^.^

randylonghorn

Mirror wrote: »

And I'm twenty one ...

I know ...

Mirror wrote: »

and a good five years past that fateful night.

Well, I didn't know that, but I did reckon you were past it!

It's called tongue-in-cheek, dude, and that's cheek as in mouth, not ...

Do you really think I would say "And do keep in practice, just in case it ... I mean, for WHEN it happens!" if I actually thought the person was serious?

Mirror wrote: »

Also, there was no dildo. Unfortunately. Buttplugs ftw! ^.^

Matched set?

Adam

randylonghorn wrote: »

I know ... Well, I didn't know that, but I did reckon you were past it!

It's called tongue-in-cheek, dude, and that's cheek as in mouth, not ...

Do you really think I would say "And do keep in practice, just in case it ... I mean, for WHEN it happens!" if I actually thought the person was serious?

Matched set?

lol I know, my bland humour is lost in text form. And in general usually. Nobody get's me... -_-

And I prefer to mix it up, blue for him and pink for her. Except when we role play and I play her while she plays me.

passive

After spending a lovely Christmas back in Dublin, packed my bags, said goodbyes, headed to airport, waited around, etc etc etc, all going according to plan. In the boarding tunnel thing, as I put my foot on the plane, I check my stuff; the usual "phone, wallet, lighter, keys... keys... keys for my family home in Dublin... keys that aren't keys for my room in France, where I shall be arriving at about 1am this Sunday night, with no way of getting a spare 'til tomorrow... Ghey"

Slept on a friend's floor in the end, kicked myself a bit. Good times.

Adam

passive wrote: »

After spending a lovely Christmas back in Dublin, packed my bags, said goodbyes, headed to airport, waited around, etc etc etc, all going according to plan. In the boarding tunnel thing, as I put my foot on the plane, I check my stuff; the usual "phone, wallet, lighter, keys... keys... keys for my family home in Dublin... keys that aren't keys for my room in France, where I shall be arriving at about 1am this Sunday night, with no way of getting a spare 'til tomorrow... Ghey"

Slept on a friend's floor in the end, kicked myself a bit. Good times.

Funny that, I check my stuff in exactly the same way. Phone is always first, then wallet, cigs and lighter. Sadly, I have no keys. Though that was probably your thoughts exactly! :P

curehead

i work for a bookies and these two ladies came in and asked was there an Irish race meeting on ' I replied no not today , and the other one says lets go down the road (another bookies) and see if theres one on in there lol i nearly wet myself

Terry

There are no stupid actions.
Only stupid people.*





*Adapted Herbert Garrisson quote.

passive

Terry wrote: »

There are no stupid actions.
Only stupid people.*

*Adapted Herbert Garrisson quote.

Adaptation fail, methinks... There are clearly stupid actions. I can't see any way that makes sense?

Terry

passive wrote: »

Adaptation fail, methinks... There are clearly stupid actions. I can't see any way that makes sense?

Creating that post was an action.

orla

orla wrote: »

085 -urapedo

Post of the year. Can't believe everyone who read it isn't breaking their collective sh1tes laughing at it.

Well played.

passive

Terry wrote: »

Creating that post was an action.

*head asplode*

!_Brian_!

Mirror wrote: »

I also had one of those mornings where you convince yourself you're going to stay in bed and sleep in after your alarm wakes you, and you're so determined, but then you bottle out and not only are you going to work but you've made yourself late for work as well! Hate that shít...

Have done this oh so many times!




I sometimes tend to roll over and turn on the bedside light instead of hitting the snooze button on the alram clock when it goes off in the morning too and the going back to sleep! The first couple of times it happened the missus thought it was cute, nowadays I just get a dig in the ribs

Allison91

I fell down the stairs today and hit my noggin...ouch...and broke my sweet necklace made of sweets the one you get in pick and mix a sad day twas