Quickies

rocky25

A Greek and Italian were sitting down one day debating who had the superior culture.

The Greek says, "We have the Parthenon"

The Italian says, "We have the Coliseum"

The Greek says "We had great Mathematicians.

"The Italian says "We had the Roman Empire"...and so on and so on.

Then the Greek says: "We invented sex"

The Italian says "That is true, but it was the Italians who
introduced it to women."
_________________________________________________________________
For those of you who watch what you eat... Here's the final word on
Nutrition and health.

It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

3. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer
fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
_________________________________________________________________

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.
The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12
and asks which the young man wants.

"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot.
I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night.
We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out.
And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me,
she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack.
“The young man makes his purchase and leaves.

Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her
parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree.
He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes.

The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a
religious person.

“He leans over to her and says, "You never told me
that your father is a pharmacist."

Eglinton

rocky25 wrote: »

_________________________________________________________________
For those of you who watch what you eat... Here's the final word on
Nutrition and health.

It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

3. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer
fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
_________________________________________________________________

Brilliant

Crumble Froo

i have been looking for that one for ages! used to be printed out and stuck up on the wall of this place i knew, and i never got the chance to save it before the office moved! mucho stars, OP.