Quickies

rocky25

Ice Cream:
A woman goes to an ice cream parlour and asks for a chocolate ice cream cone. The clerk apologizes and says that they are out of chocolate and asks her if she'd like to choose a different flavour.
The customer says, "Sure, just give me chocolate, please."

The clerk again apologizes, and thinking that the woman didn't hear him, says, "I'm sorry, we don't have any chocolate left. Is there another flavour that I can get for you?"
The woman says, "Well I guess I'll have chocolate."

The clerk, extremely pissed now, tells the woman, "Spell VAN as in vanilla."
The woman spells out, "V-A-N."

"Now," says the clerk, "spell STRAW as in strawberry."
The woman spells out, "S-T-R-A-W."

"Okay," says the clerk, "Now spell F##K as in Chocolate."

The woman looks dumbfounded for a moment and proclaims,
"Wait - there's no 'F##K' in 'chocolate!'"

And the Clerk replies, "That's what I've been trying to tell you!"
_________________________________________________________________
Confession

Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."

Priest: "What have you done my child?"

Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."

Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"

Girl: "Because he touched my hand."

Priest: "Like this?" (As he touches her hand)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he touched my breast."

Priest: "Like this?" (As he touched her breast)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."

Priest: "Like this?" (As he takes off her clothes)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."

Priest: "Like this?" (As he stuck his you know what into her you know where)

Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"

Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"

Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"

biko

Both good

Nerin

Rofl:d

Enright

reminds me

whats the irish for paedophile?


Sagart

Toots

ROFL!!! :eek: