proposing to your guy

Pighead

Proposing marriage is obviously a mans job. The whole notion of a woman proposing is as ridiculous as a BGRH regular winning a "Physique of The Year" contest.

If any chick came up to Pighead and said "Pighead you sexy intelligent beast of a man, will you do me the honour of becoming my husband and partner for life so we can spend the rest of our days together in a blissful bubble of love" the answer would be "Fcuk off love, Pighead doesn't know you from Adam"

If Miss Piggy asked, then it'd be ok.

Orlee

Motosam wrote: »

Someone ask me to marry them, right now, for the craic, I promise to say no I just want a pick me up at work.

"So was proposed to today..."

Motosam, *gets down on knees*

Would you do me the honour of becoming my husband/wife/life partner? Tick as appropriate

*fights back the tears and waits expectantly*

junior_apollo

Pighead you sexy intelligent beast of a man, will you do me the honour of becoming my husband and partner for life so we can spend the rest of our days together in a blissful bubble of love

L31mr0d

L31mr0d wrote: »

imo... and this is only my opinion, but a woman should wait for a man to propose. Now I don't say that from any sort of sexist, conservative viewpoint i'm just talking about the mindframe of the guy. Women are a lot more liberal with their emotions, they excel in emotions and have a greater understanding of them. A woman knows when shes in love.

Men however take longer to understand emotions, love (Agapē) tends to often get confused with lust (Eros) or affection (Storge). This is why I think women need to give men the chance to figure out if what they are feeling is true Agapē love. If a woman preempts this by proposing herself she puts herself in the shaky position of having a man who is still not sure of his emotions refusing the proposal or having a man who feels the wrong form of love accept it only to realise he'd made a mistake in judging his feelings.

Isn't agape brotherly love.

deisemum

deisemum wrote:

If I hadn't proposed and my now hubby was planning on asking me to marry him and had gone to my father beforehand I'd have been very angry and insulted that he'd treat me as someone's chattel

Ditto. Wtf, a woman can make up her own mind. We're not back in the days of daughter being owned by father -> daughter being owned by husband

Dudess

Yeah, the fact that people still unquestioningly use the phrase "giving away" in the context of a wedding, makes me quite nauseous. So what if it's lost its original meaning? All the more reason for it to be done away with.

Zulu

Dudess wrote: »

... makes me quite nauseous. So what if it's lost its original meaning? All the more reason for it to be done away with.

...but you'd still want an engagement ring, right?

Stercus Accidit

Orlee wrote: »

Motosam, *gets down on knees*

Would you do me the honour of becoming my husband/wife/life partner? Tick as appropriate

*fights back the tears and waits expectantly*

Aha, the trap is sprung, cue papa lazarou moment,

*grins menacingly*

"Yes... you're My wife now!

Dudess

Zulu wrote: »

...but you'd still want an engagement ring, right?

What exactly does an engagement ring signify?

But to answer your question, never thought about it before, but now that I am thinking about it, my answer is no, I wouldn't give a fukk if I didn't get one.

A lot of wedding traditions are beyond pathetic: in particular is the way couples feel they "have" to invite the partners of their friends even if they're going out with each other a few weeks. Why on earth would anyone feel obliged to invite someone they don't even know to their wedding? And it's not as if the guy/girl would want to go anyway - unless they enjoyed going to weddings full of people they don't even know...

Zulu

Dudess wrote: »

What exactly does an engagement ring signify?

It was a guarantee effectively - that the man would actually take the girl.

I wouldn't give a fukk if I didn't get one.

Good work - at least you're consistent! (I don't mean that in a condescending way btw)

A lot of wedding traditions are beyond pathetic: in particular is the way couples feel they "have" to invite the partners of their friends even if they're going out with each other a few weeks....

That and the partner of the cousin you haven't seen in 15 years!! It's madness I tells yea.

Dudess

Oh yeah, the cousins thing! Gotta invite those cousins we don't know and never see...

Toots

I think it'd be sweet if my OH asked my Dad for permission. But it wouldn't be 'permission' in the true sense of the word, he'd just be asking for his blessing. I can't see it happening though, it'd probably be the most awkward conversation in the history of the world!!:p

Zulu

Zulu wrote: »

But why would he buy you a ring if you asked?
The point of the ring was a security guaranteeing the wedding. Ergo, you provide the security if you ask. Personally, I'd like a nice car (watches are bad luck) and I've made that VERY clear to my better half. If she produces the keys to an A5, I'd weep like a girl and say yes!

Ah girls, equality when it suits, tradition when it doesn't.

It is not so much about a ring, I just would need some kind of initative on his part, a gesture of interest in the idea on his part.

An engagement ring in Ireland is nothing more than an imported fashion.
So yes in the US they were initally popularised because a law offering women compensation for a broken engagement was repealed.
That law was brought into place because people were having sex once they got engaged, and a woman was seen as less attractive proposal for marraige, if they were no longer virgins.
The engagement ring was built in compensation. But really what made the ring a requiste item was fashion infleunced by a massive marketing campaign by De Beers.

A5 ppffttt!.....If I was going to be bribed into a life of servitude by a non sparkling item, it would take this http://www.ferrari-world.be/Ferrari%20VIN/Essen%202003%20sony%20183%20250GTO%2062%203809GT.jpg

Zulu

Zulu wrote: »

It was a guarantee effectively - that the man would actually take the girl.
Good work - at least you're consistent! (I don't mean that in a condescending way btw)

That and the partner of the cousin you haven't seen in 15 years!! It's madness I tells yea.

It is not madness...its greed. Their looking to make a profit on the big day.

dotsman

angeldelight wrote: »

If my bf asked my dad's permission to marry me I'd be so annoyed!! I'm an adult, and think I have a right to know before my dad that my bf's planning on proposing. Lets be honest, unless the bf is a complete t*at, the dads going to say yes anyway, and the fact he's welcomed by my parents in the house anytime surely shows that my parents approve... also why ask my dad but not my mam?!

deisemum wrote: »

I met my now husband on a blind date almost 20 years ago and 5 months after meeting I proposed to him and we'll be married 18 years in April.

If I hadn't proposed and my now hubby was planning on asking me to marry him and had gone to my father beforehand I'd have been very angry and insulted that he'd treat me as someone's chattel

It's got nothing to do with ownership or any such nonsense. To be honest, I don't see the father turning you down unless there's something wrong with you and even if he did, I'd still marry the girl anyway.

But the fact of the matter is that, ever since you were born, there has been this man who has loved you and tried to protect you from a$$holes. He was the number 1 man in your life that you could always lean on, no matter what.

The whole asking/giving away thing is merely symbolic of the fact that the husband-to-be is now the most important man in the girl's life etc.

This of course assumes that both your father and husband are good at their respective roles!

There is, of course, no point in the girl asking the mother-in-law, 'cos she will never approve anyway!:rolleyes:

deisemum

dotsman wrote: »

There is, of course, no point in the girl asking the mother-in-law, 'cos she will never approve anyway!:rolleyes:

Classic, lol, this has got to be the most accurate thing I've read here.

I'd always heard of the Brendan Grace father of the bride speech but on my wedding day and a long time after it was a case of the father of the groom speech. Blo*dy father in law got up to make his speech at our wedding and told everyone that he tried to talk us out of getting married.

Zulu

Moonbaby wrote: »

It is not so much about a ring, I just would need some kind of initative on his part, a gesture of interest in the idea on his part.

...which conveniently happens to be the big rock every girl gets I dunno Moonbaby, you are not convincing me - if you're doing the asking, you should provide the goods. Generally, he'd do the asking and he'd produce the goods. He'd have to do it without "some kind of initiative on your part, a gesture of interest in the idea on your part". (Other than saying "yes")

A5 ppffttt!.....If I was going to be bribed into a life of servitude by a non sparkling item, it would take this http://www.ferrari-world.be/Ferrari%20VIN/Essen%202003%20sony%20183%20250GTO%2062%203809GT.jpg

[/QUOTE]Well I was keeping it realistic, as I wouldn't want to shoot myself in the foot.

Can I question your "life of servitude" comment - I hope this is a flippant afterhours comment? You don't actually view marrage that way do you? If so, I'll get the car, if you'll do what I say - for ever

Orlee

Motosam wrote: »

Aha, the trap is sprung, cue papa lazarou moment,

*grins menacingly*

"Yes... you're My wife now!

Swoon

Tar.Aldarion

I would rather do it, a girl knows whether she will say yes or no beforehand, I don't!

LouOB

NEVER will I EVER propose
There will always be that voice in the back of my head - If I didnt ask would he of? Or did he just say YES becasue I asked? (and on and on and on with the paranoia, too much for me)

SheroN

LouOB wrote: »

NEVER will I EVER propose
There will always be that voice in the back of my head - If I didnt ask would he of? Or did he just say YES becasue I asked? (and on and on and on with the paranoia, too much for me)

And you think it's different for guys who ask?

Rob_l

I want a big feckin diamond if Im being proposed to or the deal is off no rock no cock :mad::mad::mad::mad:

Cardinal

SheroN wrote: »

And you think it's different for guys who ask?

Yes it is. It's a man's job to deal with this kind thing. Men are more emotionally stable in general. It's our duty to take on such uncertainty as we are in general better able to deal with it.

Rob_l

Cardinal wrote: »

Yes it is. It's a man's job to deal with this kind thing. Men are more emotionally stable in general. It's our duty to take on such uncertainty as we are in general better able to deal with it.

yeah and we have been to the moon!

Susannahmia

Cardinal wrote: »

Yes it is. It's a man's job to deal with this kind thing. Men are more emotionally stable in general. It's our duty to take on such uncertainty as we are in general better able to deal with it.

My urge is to abuse you but I'd just get banned.:)

Susannahmia

Rob_l wrote: »

I want a big feckin diamond if Im being proposed to or the deal is off no rock no cock :mad::mad::mad::mad:

Hmm which would cost me more the solicitor or the diamond? I'll have to go away and work this out.

Cardinal

Susannahmia wrote: »

My urge is to abuse you but I'd just get banned.:)

I can take it. I am a man after all.

Rob_l

Susannahmia wrote: »

Hmm which would cost me more the solicitor or the diamond? I'll have to go away and work this out.

Ok then a box of beer and a litre of whiskey should suffice:D

Susannahmia

Cardinal wrote: »

I can take it. I am a man after all.

Bend over. I gots a cucumber;).

Susannahmia

Rob_l wrote: »

Ok then a box of beer and a litre of whiskey should suffice:D

It's a deal!

Stercus Accidit

Orlee wrote: »

Swoon

By the way, you're Dave now,

Is that ok Dave?

harlem

I've been contemplating asking my OH this leap year day, & I've a ring in mind I'm going to get him.
Would it seem a little I dunno - desperate if I was to get my own ring too?

Only we've talked about getting engaged before and looked at rings, but I know he'd want to spend a small fortune on a ring for me - I wouldn't want him to feel pressured that because I'd asked him that he'd have to sell a kidney or 2 to get the money for a ring for me

Plus I've no problems paying for my own ring, I don't want a mad expensive one, we've just bought a new house and I can think of 101 better things I could spend the money on in the house!

I know it shouldn't matter what other people think at the end of the day, but I don't want to come over all Edie a la Desperate housewives!:eek::o

Coffea

harlem wrote: »

Would it seem a little I dunno - desperate if I was to get my own ring too?

Only we've talked about getting engaged before and looked at rings, but I know he'd want to spend a small fortune on a ring for me - I wouldn't want him to feel pressured that because I'd asked him that he'd have to sell a kidney or 2 to get the money for a ring for me

Go halves? Or would that be very unromantic?

Zulu

would he want a ring?
Perhaps another token would be more appropriate?

Orlee

Motosam wrote: »

By the way, you're Dave now,

Is that ok Dave?

Whatever you want sweetie

harlem

I'm still undecided, I can think of several other tokens that's he'd prefer much more like a new belt sander - it just doesn't seem to convey the same romance as a ring!
Ah well, another 8 days to decide yet :rolleyes:

Coffea

OP, any update?

harlem

Well I bit the bullet & asked my man...he said yes thank crunchie, oh the nerves leading up to it :eek:, so glad that bits over! :rolleyes::D

bronte

congrats!! Hope you're a happy bunny!

deisemum

Congrats

Conar

Did you get him something in the end?
Will you be getting a ring?

Edit: Sorry where are my manners......Congratulations!

Coffea

Woohoo! Congrats!! :)

Ahh Congrats!

harlem

Thanks all :D

I got him a ring in the end (& went halves on getting a small boat with him)
so he's a happy camper!

I made him a nice dinner & for dessert brought out a plate with 'will you marry me' iced on it in chocolate & the ring in the middle - so its true, the way to a mans heart IS through his stomach!

Jesus Wept

harlem wrote: »

Thanks all :D

I got him a ring in the end (& went halves on getting a small boat with him)
so he's a happy camper!

I made him a nice dinner & for dessert brought out a plate with 'will you marry me' iced on it in chocolate & the ring in the middle - so its true, the way to a mans heart IS through his stomach!

mmm chocolate icing.

Jay D

harlem wrote: »

Thanks all :D

I got him a ring in the end (& went halves on getting a small boat with him)
so he's a happy camper!

I made him a nice dinner & for dessert brought out a plate with 'will you marry me' iced on it in chocolate & the ring in the middle - so its true, the way to a mans heart IS through his stomach!

fantastic!!!

TPD

My GF poroposed to me on the 29th. I accepted. What exactly stops this being an official proposal? Im 18, she's 16, been together 5 months.