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Children travelling solo

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  • 07-02-2008 12:27pm
    #1
    Michele F
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3 ✭


    Hi Guys

    1st time user so hopefully this goes well!! My exhusband moved to Cavan a couple of years ago and now he wants my 13 year old Girl to Dart to Dublin - go to the bus station and make her own way down to Cavan- I've said no way and as I work full time wont be able to accompany her.. he wont take my calls - any advice??

    M


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    #2
    Ayla
    Registered Users Posts: 1,508 ✭✭✭Ayla


    Don't know what type of suggestions or advise you're looking for -?-

    Only you and your ex-husband can decide if you think your 13 year old is responsible enough to travel alone. If it's just a matter of getting on a bus or train and not getting off until the right stop, I'd personally believe a 13 year old can handle that. If there is additional travel to/from the station that may be different.

    Sounds like your ex may be playing hardball, but he's the only one you can make this decision with. I wouldn't think he has a legal right (although I could be wrong) to make and act on this decision by himself and force your daughter to travel if she's unwilling.


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    #3
    Michele F
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3 ✭Michele F


    The journey is a dart to Connelly - crossing to Bus station to buy ticket and find correct bus - then to know which stop to get off at - she wants to go - he wont communicate to discuss and I'm the baddy - she goes down to him every 2nd weekend (he collects etc) - would like to know my legal rights...


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    #4
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Well legally it comes down to who are the legal guardians and who has primary custody.


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    #5
    Quality
    Registered Users Posts: 6,900 ✭✭✭Quality


    Michele F wrote: »
    The journey is a dart to Connelly - crossing to Bus station to buy ticket and find correct bus - then to know which stop to get off at - she wants to go - he wont communicate to discuss and I'm the baddy - she goes down to him every 2nd weekend (he collects etc) - would like to know my legal rights...


    Could you not drop her to The bus station yourself and see her onto the bus?


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    #6
    TequilaMockingBird
    Registered Users Posts: 4,392 ✭✭✭TequilaMockingBird


    My first instinct is no.

    He should come and get her. Or try to organise something that is workable with you both.

    Personally, my daughters dad lives at the other end of the country, and I have never brought her to see him. If he wants access then come and collect her, which he does every weekend. (Shes 7, but untill around 16 I wouldn't change it)


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    #7
    Michele F
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3 ✭Michele F


    Thanks guys.... eventually got ex to agree to collect as normal... still have the communication problem so if ya have any words of wisdom on that please let me know!!


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    #8
    undecided
    Registered Users Posts: 679 ✭✭✭undecided


    OP Thankfully you have sorted your problem for the time being ....but not being smart but think your ex is being quite selfish in even asking this. I have done the journey to Monaghan plenty of times both by bus and car. In the time it takes to go on the bus you would be nearly there and back by car!!!!!(give or take 20 mins!) I'm not taking into account any time spent on the dart......

    If he wants his visitation right so be it but why put your child at risk let her be 13 or 16 once she is under 18 he has visitation and she is a minor therefore should not travel to him he comes to her....

    If he feels so strongly about visits why move so far away!


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    #9
    Iago
    Registered Users Posts: 6,638 ✭✭✭Iago


    undecided wrote: »

    If he feels so strongly about visits why move so far away!

    Maybe because with all his other commitments he couldn't afford a closer house?

    I think he's using this as an excuse to make you look bad, but there's always a lot of simmering resentment following a breakup. I'm glad he has put your childs safety first now, even if it took some persuading.

    At the same time, I'm sure he works full-time as well so maybe a compromise where he collects from yours and then you pick her up from his at the end of the visitation/weekend or whatever way it works might help smooth the way. Because you have a child together you will always have to be in contact, and trying to work together (however hard it may seem now) is the only way that you can maintain a healthy relationship and ensure that your child is getting everything she needs from you both.


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    #10
    TequilaMockingBird
    Registered Users Posts: 4,392 ✭✭✭TequilaMockingBird


    Glad you got it sorted OP.

    With regards to the communication problems, can you leave text messages, email etc. I've found this works better in this situation, as there is less chance of a verbal argument between you both. With email etc. you will both have a chance to cool down a little before replying, and usually after time the fire will be gone out of it and ye may be able to get along better.

    Best of luck, I've been through it too. :)


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