Public Displays of Affection

Chinafoot

Ok so this kinda came up in the Valentine's thread and instead of dragging that one further off-topic, I thought I'd start a new one.

So, public displays of affection. Good? Bad? Indifferent?

Personally I'm not a fan. I mean I'll happily walk down the street holding his hand, I'll cuddle up to him in the cinema, but when we're with company I won't be slobbering all over him. I think it's really very rude when out with friends and I can't stand when friends of mine do it with their boyfriends, particularly when we're trying to have a conversation.

So ladies, where do you stand on it? Do you have no problem snogging the face off your other half while in the pub with your mates? Do you think, like me, it's pretty rude and inconsiderate to those around you, or do you not really care?

coffee_cake

Much dislike... my friends wouldnt do it tbh and neither would I, I hate being couply around them

Silverfish

I'm not a very couply person anyway, I wouldn't hold someone's hand walking down the street usually, or if I'm in the cinema, I'm there to watch the film, dammit!

I would never, ever do the kissy thing in front of friends or his friends or anyone, maybe, just maybe a quick peck if I'm running off somewhere for a few minutes, in case I get hit by a bus or something.

Buses. You just never know.

No prolonged kisses or slobbering though, its just rude.

misslt

Noo...like you, chinafoot, i wouldnt mind the holding hands thing but taking it OTT is so rude.

I was once out with mates and one girl had recently split with her bf and was pretty cut up about it, and the only couple amongst us were constantly kissing etc..It wound all of us up, as they had asked us to go out, but esp. the recently single girl..she ended up leaving because of them and i thought it was so inconsiderate.

As the saying goes...GET A ROOM!

panda100

Definatly not into the pda's except when Im drunk,then I tend to forget im in a public place.
I dont mind hand holding and pecks on the cheek but thats about it. Almost all of my boyfriends have been into the whole mauling me in public thing. V.off putting.

I hate watching other couples pda's so wouldnt inflict my pdas on other people.

Quality

I am with my OH 12 years now, and I love when he holds my hand or kisses me or puts his arm around me...

Ok It wouldnt be hot and heavy now or anything, but I like it when he is affectionate in public...

Although I would be a bit "Get a room" If I saw someone really going for it... More in a laughy way though...

WindSock

I hold hands or whatever, but not when we are walking as it messes up the pace and I tend to lose my balance. I'm ok with a peck on the cheek, but not a proper kiss, I feel awkward (did I spell that right? It spells how it is, awkward.)

ztoical

Chinafoot wrote: »

Do you have no problem snogging the face off your other half while in the pub with your mates? Do you think, like me, it's pretty rude and inconsiderate to those around you, or do you not really care?

out on your own, on a date type thing no issues but when out with a bunch of friends no I think its very inconsiderate but thankfully never had any issue with any bf's about it, we always seemed to be on the same wave length regarding the when and where's for PDA's.

echosound

NOthing wrong with displays of affection so long as it's not a 5 minute tounging session or groping etc.

I'd hold hands/link with my hubby when out, and would give him a peck in front of people if one of us is arriving/leaving for something (ie hi or bye peck) but wouldn't go in for a big slobberfest. Likewise if we're at a friend's house and we're sitting beside one another, I'd sometimes lean my elbow on his leg (for comfort) but it wouldn't be a big showy durty pervy rubbing of his thigh IYKWIM.

Time and a place. Public slobberfests are only ok if it's teenagers mugging the heads off one another at a busstop or something. It is just too cringey when grown adults go hot and heavy at it.

WindSock

Private moments should be kept private.

Cathmandooo

holding hands while walking together is fine, i hate HATE seeing a couple slobbering all over each other when you're out in a gang, if you're in a mad busy club then grand go have a snog on the dancefloor, I've no problem that, but at the table I hate turning to a couple to discover them snogging the face off each other.

One of my friends does that with her fella and it's ironic cos she was an affection phobe (even in private) before i told her to cop herself on! now she slobbers all over her fella, its quite disgusting.

metaoblivia

I think holding hands is fine, and a quick kiss is no problem. But when people start going at it - I think they're crossing a line. And it's not so much the sight of it as it is the sound of it. I had to sit in front of a couple on a train who were all over each other from the time we pulled out of London until we got to Paris. The noises they made were disgusting.

Baudelaire

I have to disagree a little bit here, I'm single now but in any relationship I've ever been in I like giving and receiving affection, if you're walking down the road and chatting and he's says something nice why not give him a kiss? who give a sh1t what anyone else thinks? anytime I've ever done it I'd just drag them into a shop doorway and kiss them, I'd never care what anyone else thinks because my attention would be elsewhere as it should be, there's nothing like walking down a road and it's freezing out and just kissing them, and both your lips are cold and slowly warm up. Fair enough if you're in a pub with another couple then pecks and hand holding is OK but full on snogs are just rude but if there were a few couples and it was a night club I'd have no problem just focusing my attention him and trying to get some space where it's just us talking between ourselves and kissing because lets be honest it's not like you can have a 6 way conversation in a club anyway so why not just have a one on one with the person you care about? and also we all know a few drinks and we all get soppy like that anyway, I love it, not to make others feel bad but because it makes me feel good and I think anyone that isn't affectionate just because it may be seen as a "PDA" is just silly. If you care about someone there's nothing wrong with showing it, not to others just to them. Only doing it in private just implies embarassment IMO.

Cathmandooo

metaoblivia wrote: »

I think holding hands is fine, and a quick kiss is no problem. But when people start going at it - I think they're crossing a line. And it's not so much the sight of it as it is the sound of it. I had to sit in front of a couple on a train who were all over each other from the time we pulled out of London until we got to Paris. The noises they made were disgusting.

oh god I know, myself and a friend were on a short train journey, like 20 mins, and the couple behind her were snogging, she didnt know what the noise was, she thought someone was cleaning their teeth or something, it's vile, grr at those type of people!

Cathmandooo

Baudelaire wrote: »

I have to disagree a little bit here, I'm single now but in any relationship I've ever been in I like giving and receiving affection, if you're walking down the road and chatting and he's says something nice why not give him a kiss? who give a sh1t what anyone else thinks? anytime I've ever done it I'd just drag them into a shop doorway and kiss them, I'd never care what anyone else thinks because my attention would be elsewhere as it should be, there's nothing like walking down a road and it's freezing out and just kissing them, and both your lips are cold and slowly warm up. Fair enough if you're in a pub with another couple then pecks and hand holding is OK but full on snogs are just rude but if there were a few couples and it was a night club I'd have no problem just focusing my attention him and trying to get some space where it's just us talking between ourselves and kissing because lets be honest it's not like you can have a 6 way conversation in a club anyway so why not just have a one on one with the person you care about? and also we all know a few drinks and we all get soppy like that anyway, I love it, not to make others feel bad but because it makes me feel good and I think anyone that isn't affectionate just because it may be seen as a "PDA" is just silly. If you care about someone there's nothing wrong with showing it, not to others just to them. Only doing it in private just implies embarassment IMO.

oh no i don't think it shud all be behind closed doors, I love it when a fella holds my hand and gives me a quick smooch, i'm giving out about full on snogs when you're sitting at a table with a couple, it's very disturbing! if ye are both alone on a date tbh i wouldnt care who sees! Wouldnt go snogging him in the middle of a restaurant now but at a club it's fine!

Baudelaire

Cathooo wrote: »

oh no i don't think it shud all be behind closed doors, I love it when a fella holds my hand and gives me a quick smooch, i'm giving out about full on snogs when you're sitting at a table with a couple, it's very disturbing! if ye are both alone on a date tbh i wouldnt care who sees! Wouldnt go snogging him in the middle of a restaurant now but at a club it's fine!

I like it because it still reminds me of you know them first days when you first started dating at about 16/17 and every wall was a snogging session no matter what the weather was like :D

But I agree, not in a resturant or with another couple.

Cathmandooo

Baudelaire wrote: »

I like it because it still reminds me of you know them first days when you first started dating at about 16/17 and every wall was a snogging session no matter what the weather was like :D

But I agree, not in a resturant or with another couple.

I think we all love it that's the greatness of a new relationship have to agree with you there

Black Swan

Love holding hands, hugs, arms about the waists, sitting close, occasional kiss, ear whisper, but no heavy petting in public (too personal).

rediguana

Morcheeba have a good song called "Public Displays of Affection". Sad, but good. What a shame that Skye Edwards left.

Anyway, I hold hands, hug, give classy kisses in public. But that's it! Exhibitionism belongs in the bedroom.

Blush_01

Hand holding, fine. Peck on the cheek/lips either when coming or going (even if it's just the bathroom) not a problem.

HOWEVER, one of my favourite people ever is going out with the human version of a St. Bernard. I was visiting just before Christmas and for a lot of the time it was just the three of us. She couldn't walk straight, he was leaning on her, dragging her this way and that, kissing her constantly, slobbering all over her and mauling her. Not just in a hand-in-her-jeans-pocket way, but constantly pulling and dragging at her. She thinks it's cute and sweet. I think it's pathetic and makes him look totally insecure. She loves feeling like she's so gorgeous he can't keep away from her, but to be honest I didn't want to hear or see it, and it made the two of them look like twits. They're both in their twenties, he's a few years older than her. The only downside to me was it meant I spent a lot of the time on my own somewhere I had only been once or twice before. But it was childish and disrupted people walking as they kept strolling in front of people obliviously - in the Christmas rush. When we went out they were the exact same. It was seriously offputting. Had they been on their own somewhere where they weren't causing a problem for other people, if that floated their boat then that's that. But I thought it was a bit disrespectful of everyone involved. I said it to her, and she didn't see the problem though. *shrug*

Anti

Silverfish wrote: »

I'm not a very couply person anyway, I wouldn't hold someone's hand walking down the street usually, or if I'm in the cinema, I'm there to watch the film, dammit!

I would never, ever do the kissy thing in front of friends or his friends or anyone, maybe, just maybe a quick peck if I'm running off somewhere for a few minutes, in case I get hit by a bus or something.

Buses. You just never know.

No prolonged kisses or slobbering though, its just rude.

Have to agree 100% here.

You never know how, and when public transport will **** your **** up !

gubbie

I think its really off putting

But I can't stand lots of petting. Like this one day I was sitting down, having a conversation with a friend, when his girlfriend came along. Continued conversation. But the more we talked the more they started to twist their limbs around each other and then pet their hair, cheek, ears, everywhere really. It was only the 3 of us and I was so put off by it all that I just left.

Does that count or is that just being too anal about it?

Weidii

Yeah, I wouldn't do more than holding hands in public really.

One of my friends (who I've always known as a single man) has always been very anti-PDA, he even sighed and groaned and myself and my OH for ust sitting beside eachother and talking to eachother on the bus. Now he has a GF and they're all over eachother all the time. It's horrible really, I don't like being alone with them.

neuro-praxis

When we are on a date we will hold hands, cuddle, kiss briefly, whatever. When we are with friends we focus our attentions on them, not each other. That is, after all, why we are with our friends?

We are together 10 years and we've had some friends who have been single almost that entire duration. Some of them have told us that they have never once felt awkward or like a third wheel with us and that has just confirmed to me that our decision to not be coupley with others is the exactly right one.

Lady Lainy

i dont like people mawling the faces off each other in front of me. Holding hands, and the odd light cuddle and peck on cheek/lips is okay. And like in a club or pub, his arm around me wouldnt bother me, and i dont think would bother anyone else.and if he did want a serious kiss we would moved away from our friends and have our own private moment than throw it in peoples faces. I guess to me its only an issue if they go off into there own world in there heads and start making out infront of there friends, and ignoring there friends. shows of public affection dont bother me, if it doesnt inhibit there ability to talk and communicate with the people there with.

Baudelaire

While I agree that if you're in company it is rude to go at it but just holding hands, whispers, pecks I see nothing wrong with but the way I'd look at it too is ask a few of our gay posters (male or female) if they'd be as ristricted in showing their affection if they had the freedom we have. At least for us all you get for kissing your partner in the street is at most a dirty look, they'd be risking a kicking. When was the last time you seen a gay couple walking down the street holding hands? How many do you think wish they could? and yet we can do it and choose not to because of what others might think. I'll say it again, In think mild PDA's are great and am delighted that I have the freedom to do it if I choose.

echosound

Baudelaire wrote: »

When was the last time you seen a gay couple walking down the street holding hands?

About 3 days ago. Two young guys (early 20s) holding hands and as I passed them (I was driving, they were walking) they stopped at the bus-stop and gave each other a big smacker.

I take your point though. You'd always have to be aware of the knuckle-dragging element who'd delight in kicking the shyte out of someone perceived as different.

I don't think anyone is saying they choose not to hold hands or give pecks in public though? more that they wouldn't be bothered with big droolfests/loud squelchy sounds of tonsil-exploring/copious amounts of mauling while in company.

Agreed there is nothing wrong (or nicer) than stopping when the moment takes you (be it on a windswept deserted beach or a stroll through a town) and having a quick, passionate kiss, and moving on. It's just I prefer to keep the more hot and heavy passionate stuff for home when there's a chance you can progress it a bit, IYKWIM

Jules

I do like handholding at times, not all the time but just from time to time. And a little kiss, like a peck on the cheek or lips is ok but not the full on tonsilectomy!

Crumble Froo

same here, though im quite shy, particularly when it comes to affection with the b/f in public, like windsock (i think) said, keep the private moments private. but at the b/f's brother's wedding, i was a little less shy, and yes, there were a fair few public kisses, and hugs, and lots of little touches and stuff. we weren't really together all that much, he was part of the main party, as he was bestman, but cos we hadnt seen each other in so long before that, both of us were a bit more relaxed and cared less about who saw us doing what.

Baudelaire

Crumble Froo wrote: »

same here, though im quite shy, particularly when it comes to affection with the b/f in public, like windsock (i think) said, keep the private moments private. but at the b/f's brother's wedding, i was a little less shy, and yes, there were a fair few public kisses, and hugs, and lots of little touches and stuff. we weren't really together all that much, he was part of the main party, as he was bestman, but cos we hadnt seen each other in so long before that, both of us were a bit more relaxed and cared less about who saw us doing what.

And which feels better, the shy avoidance or that night where you just didn't care?

Crumble Froo

can't compare. an ordinary day does not equal the first time being in the same country as each other in a month.

im quite happy sitting in with mates, or going out to the cinema and just holding hands. im quite comfortable with things the way they are.