I Can't Believe He's A Premiership Footballer!

cson

I'm starting to think that some people in the hate thread may have got it wrong. They just picked useless players who should be pitied for their less than proficient skills rather than hated. And it got me thinking; how many fully useless players are currently plying their trade in the Premiership of all places? I know I've shouted something like "Ah ffs, shure I'd do better meself" at the telly a fair few times.

Let us pick the first XI for Useless & Crap Albion AFC

GK

LB
CB Titus Bramble
CB Paul McShane
RB John O'Shea

LM
CM
CM Dwight Yorke
RM Theo Walcott

CF Dirk Kuyt
CF Andriy Voronin

Any more?

Villain

cson wrote: »

Let us pick the first XI for Useless & Crap Albion AFC

GK

LB
CB Titus Bramble
CB Paul McShane
RB John O'Shea

LM
CM
CM Dwight Yorke
RM Theo Walcott

CF Dirk Kuyt
CF Andriy Voronin

Any more?

John O'Shea does a good job for United and he rarely plays at RB, he's very versatile and reliable, you don't stay in the best squad in the premier over the last 5 years if your useless.

Kuyt may not be scoring goals but his runs off the ball and work in creating chances for his strike partner is excellent.

cson

I was going for the John O'Shea - Ireland version, which I suppose is off topic on my own thread. D'oh!

As for Kuyt, granted he's hardworking, but as a striker your main job is to score. And he's pants at that.

gimmick

Roy Carroll in goal.

The recently departed for Juve, Mohammed Sissoko would have to be there. Quite simply the worst centre midfielder I have ever seen.

I would put Marlon Harewood there upfront instead of Kuyt.

Villain

I would have put Harewood in that list until I'v watched his last few performances, i.e. a great sub performance against Liverpool with a great finish and then Yesterday we he was excellent, now obviously he is not and never is going to be a top striker but I have been impressed by his desire and effort.

ciaran76

My LM would either be Andy Van Der Meyde or James McFadden.

Xavi6

Bit harsh on Dwight Yorke as well. The man is a Premiership legend.

I'd have:

GK: Brad Jones

RB: Peter Ramage
LB: Paul McShane
CB: Titus Bramble
CB: Danny Collins
CB: Curtis Davies

RM: Graham Kavanagh (though he's out on loan at the mo)
LM: Eddie Lewis
CM: Gavin McCann

CF: Andriy Voronin
CF: Jeremie Aliadiere

Honourable mentions to Marc Edworthy, Darren Moore, Darius Vassell, Dirk Kuyt, Philippe Christanval, Jlloyd Samuel and Liam Ridgewell. Competition was tough at the back.

Villain

Curtis Davies??? ahead of Ridegwell???

Xavi6

Villain wrote: »

Curtis Davies??? ahead of Ridegwell???

As I said, competition was tough but when a player comes out himself and admits he's sh1t and not up to it then he deserves a place.

homerjay2005

errm lads, how the hell has nobody mentioned kevin kilbane....i mean, even his hair sucks! he is terrble, simply terrible. please retire for international football, please.

from a united point of view -

fletcher, though his days are coming to an end, united midfield is now one of the strongest we have ever had.

eagles, sell him please

dong - is their a worse player in the whole of england?

Villain

Eh that was his first game for us and in the League cup, he has been playing well since he got into the team after Knight got injured, so your judging him on one game? fair enough because he was awful that game

Dubit10

Villain wrote: »

John O'Shea does a good job for United and he rarely plays at RB, he's very versatile and reliable, you don't stay in the best squad in the premier over the last 5 years if your useless.

Kuyt may not be scoring goals but his runs off the ball and work in creating chances for his strike partner is excellent.

Are we talking about the same John o Shea For the record Andy vorinon is the worst player ever in the premiership

Villain

Yep but we'r talking about John O'Shea that plays for UTD, he does a decent job for Utd.

Xavi6

Villain wrote: »

Eh that was his first game for us and in the League cup, he has been playing well since he got into the team after Knight got injured, so your judging him on one game? fair enough because he was awful that game

That's the good thing about these teams - they're done on opinion. I have seen him play more than once and between his performances and the transfer fee paid for him he's in for me.

Dubit10 wrote: »

For the record Andy vorinon is the worst player ever in the premiership

Not even close mate. Yes he's bad but worst ever is a complete exaggeration.

pd101

Villain wrote: »

Yep but we'r talking about John O'Shea that plays for UTD, he does a decent job for Utd.

Yeah I agree. Name a better utility player in the premiership.

shane86

homerjay2005 wrote: »

errm lads, how the hell has nobody mentioned kevin kilbane....i mean, even his hair sucks! he is terrble, simply terrible. please retire for international football, please.

If it wasnt for two instances of Zinedine Kilbane magic in the Euro campaign we would currently be fifth seeders (I think, I cant be arsed looking up the other points totals). He is not a brilliant player but his contributions are certainly underrated, and he does give it his all.

Kuyt is just in a drought. So has Rooney in at least two long periods of his career from my recollection (and thats just domestic, dont even mention CL and England). Give it time.

If he was still in the Prem, Paddy Kenny for goalie. Jaysus :eek:

LuckyLloyd

homerjay2005 wrote: »

errm lads, how the hell has nobody mentioned kevin kilbane....i mean, even his hair sucks! he is terrble, simply terrible. please retire for international football, please.

from a united point of view -

fletcher, though his days are coming to an end, united midfield is now one of the strongest we have ever had.

eagles, sell him please

dong - is their a worse player in the whole of england?

There are a whole lot of players out there that are worse than Kevin Kilbahne.

Dong is truly abysmal. Glad somebody mentioned him.

Derby this season are a fine example of a squad lacking in premiership level talent. If you can think of a player in another squad that would struggle to start there you can probably assume they have business with this thread.

Villain

Xavi6 wrote: »

That's the good thing about these teams - they're done on opinion. I have seen him play more than once and between his performances and the transfer fee paid for him he's in for me.

Well at least you have clarified that your opinion isn't based on just what he said after one game.

He's still on Loan although I thinks thats just a tax dodge, Davies is good and is a young talent that is learning every game playing beside the best Defender in the league Laursen and I think Capello saw that and thats why he was included in the first English squad. Your entitled to your opinion I just think in this case your ill informed.

Xavi6

Villain wrote: »

Well at least you have clarified that your opinion isn't based on just what he said after one game.

He's still on Loan although I thinks thats just a tax dodge, Davies is good and is a young talent that is learning every game playing beside the best Defender in the league Laursen and I think Capello saw that and thats why he was included in the first English squad. Your entitled to your opinion I just think in this case your ill informed.

And now I think you're ill informed

PHB

I think anybody who doesn't see O'Sheas worth to a squad doesn't actually understand how modern football works.

Why people are mentioning Fletcher and Eagles is also beyond me. Eagles is likely to make it at at least championship level, but I think he could make it at a premiership level. Fletcher is easily premiership level, probably top 6 level.

Dong now I can never understand how he became a footballer. Bramble is not a footballer.

Guy:Incognito

Djimi Troare is stll knocking around England is he not?

Xavi6

Stekelly wrote: »

Djimi Troare is stll knocking around England is he not?

Nope. Left Pompey during the window to go back to France.

homerjay2005

PHB wrote: »

Why people are mentioning Fletcher and Eagles is also beyond me. Eagles is likely to make it at at least championship level.

yes exactly, at championship level. he is not good enough for premiership at the moment, i hope im proved wrong, but i dont think he will.

as for fletch, now now, dont get me started!!!!

Guy:Incognito

Xavi6 wrote: »

Nope. Left Pompey during the window to go back to France.

Fair enough, must have missed that one.

Xavi6

Stekelly wrote: »

Fair enough, must have missed that one.

A massive loss to the league imo

Sqaull20

GK Paul Robinson

LB Lee Young
CB Titus Bramble
CB Paul McShane
RB Michael Ball

LM Hameur Bouazza
CM Abdoulaye Faye
CM Phil Neville
RM Theo Walcott

CF Darius Vassell
CF Andriy Voronin

Unearthly

Phill Neville? ffs

Surely the majority of the Derby team should be mentioned first/ Afterall they are proving they aren't able to compete in the premiership

but no lets pick arsenal, liverpool, and man utd squad players :rolleyes:

~Rebel~

Unearthly wrote: »

Phill Neville? ffs

Surely the majority of the Derby team should be mentioned first/ Afterall they are proving they aren't able to compete in the premiership

but no lets pick arsenal, liverpool, and man utd squad players :rolleyes:

+1

Dean Leacock is a truly truly rubbish player.

He's gone now, but Idan Tal at Bolton was utter rubbish too.

Sqaull20

Unearthly wrote: »

Phill Neville? ffs

Surely the majority of the Derby team should be mentioned first/ Afterall they are proving they aren't able to compete in the premiership

but no lets pick arsenal, liverpool, and man utd squad players :rolleyes:

Premiership player for me is a few years in the prem, not one season guys like the Derby team....

Charlie

When Norwich were in the Premiership, I was shocked Gary Doherty managed to fool a team into believing he was of any worth. The man was just woeful.

As a Newcastle fan, Stephen Carr has been terrible for the last 2-3 years, he truly needs to be shipped off to League one and told to stop suckling 60 odd grand a week from the Newcastle teethe.

Andy O' Brien I think his snooze impairs his vision because time after time he couldn't clear a ball.

Shola Ameobi. He must have been Freddie Shepard's illegitimate lovechild with the cleaner, because someone was afraid to tell him to fcuk off from the first team for about 4 years. Woeful goalscoring record, and rarely fails to at least not trip on his own gangly legs once a game.

ciaran76

Unearthly wrote: »

Phill Neville? ffs

Phil Neville is playing very well at right back for Everton this season and last season dont think too many fans who have seen him play the last 2 seasons would say he is the worst in the Prem.

estebancambias

Darren Fletcher is class, he is obviously good enough to be Premier League player.


Voronin? Eh how about no, he is a decent/good player.

DSB

Having Curtis Davies in your team for this is 1 of the most ridiculous things ever. Excellent player.

eirebhoy

I must be one of about 5 people in the world that rates McShane. Put him up against a target man and I honestly believe he's one of the best in the premiership at marking him. Koller, Berbatov, Benni McCarthy, Davies... Man of the match against all of them. Not bad for the worst centre half in the league. He just needs to sort out his faults but he's a good reader of the game who'll learn. His timing for headers is superb. I'm surprised he doesn't score more.

estebancambias

Having Paul McShane in your team for this is 1 of the most ridiculous things ever. Excellent player.

Villain

Xavi6 wrote: »

And now I think you're ill informed

Not the last time I saw the OPTA stats

woodyg

Xavi6 wrote: »

Honourable mentions to Marc Edworthy, Darren Moore, Darius Vassell, Dirk Kuyt, Philippe Christanval, Jlloyd Samuel and Liam Ridgewell. Competition was tough at the back.

i take it you have changed your mind on Vassell now .

What was the Southampton player who Souness got his Uncle was ment to be George Yhea?

Taibi gets GK for me.
Sissoko is wort a mention.
Djimi is defo worth a mention.
Andy Reid loose some weight yea chuppy git he looks like me and that aint a good thing!
Bramble cause he's just 1 touch away from a clanger
McShane mainly cause he's the Irish version of Bramble
Harry "questionable" Rednkapp signed a few bits of tripe in his time, Florin Raddaciou and there was a german striker as well who come to mind.
Derby County FC! worst team in the league ever.
Sunderland FC under Mick McCarthy second worst team.
Dong, Voronin, Djemb Djemba, Baros, Harte, Connolly,

wba88

estebancambias wrote: »

Having Paul McShane in your team for this is 1 of the most ridiculous things ever. Excellent player.

i concur, he is only 22 and he has a lot to learn. Also its not as if he has the best bunch of lads around him

kaisersose77

Nani

He's worse than Kieran Richardson and thats bad!

Galvasean

Robbie Savage - not so much a footballer as a brawler. Ah well wont be a Premiership player for long now.

OPENROAD

bit harsh on Walcott, he is still a very young player, most appearances so far are as a sub. He will live up to expectations.

Helix

stilian petrov

Unearthly

kaisersose77 wrote: »

Nani

He's worse than Kieran Richardson and thats bad!

Very harsh

He's been a disappointment so far but looks very raw, I'll give him more time before I judge if he has it in him or not.

Jonny Arson

Bramble
Dong Gook
Ki Hyeon
Konchesky
Sonko
O'Shea
Ramage
Andy O'Brien
Half of Sunderland's 50 man squad (yes including Paul 'if he was English we would be saying he is sh!te' McShane)
The entire Derby County squad
and a load of other useless gimps who i can't remember their names

are all about as deserving of playing Premiership football as much as i am!

eirebhoy

Jonny Arson wrote: »

(yes including Paul 'if he was English we would be saying he is sh!te' McShane)

The only reason for that would be the only time I'd probably see McShane if he was English would be on match of the day. I've watched him loads and don't think my bias takes over.

OPENROAD

eirebhoy wrote: »

The only reason for that would be the only time I'd probably see McShane if he was English would be on match of the day. I've watched him loads and don't think my bias takes over.

Not even a tiny bit

estebancambias

Someone said Curtis Davis is a 'great' defender on here, if that is allowed then Paul McShane can be labelled the next Fabio Cannavaro.

eirebhoy

Not even a tiny bit

If you think so, fair enough. I honestly don't think so.

And btw. I've yet to meet a single person that rates McShane so the bias accusation isn't really accurate.

Helix

estebancambias wrote: »

Someone said Curtis Davis is a 'great' defender on here, if that is allowed then Paul McShane can be labelled the next Fabio Cannavaro.

davies is getting there tho

mcshane is still poison

estebancambias

I personally think both will develop into good players.

OPENROAD

eirebhoy wrote: »

If you think so, fair enough. I honestly don't think so.

And btw. I've yet to meet a single person that rates McShane so the bias accusation isn't really accurate.

To be fair I have not seen him that much so not really fair for me to judge him.