The to-the-jacks disappearing act

Cianos

I always think it's funny when your out with someone, and without a word they stand up from the table and walk away.

"... Oh, they're going to the jacks".

What etiquette do you use with this?!

FunkZ

People just go home without telling you when you're out with them?

AARRRGH

With friends I say "I need to pee". With strangers I say "Excuse me I will be back in a moment".

Shocking stuff!

Red Hand

"I need to personally evacuate! Out of my way!"

Rb

"Pardon me fellos, I've to use the W.C, be back in a moment".

lilmissprincess

"Back in a minute"

SligoBrewer

I'm off for a wizz

Ruu_Old

As Zefram Cochrane said "I gotta take a leak."

DonalN

'need a ****e!'

Red Hand

"Jeeves! The chamber pot and the sanitory paper, please!"

Macers

"I'm touchin cloth here..."

farva

Gotta go, serious case of turtle head...

AARRRGH

This is kind of unrelated but...

I was once having a pee in a cubicle when a stream of pee shot across into the bowl. It turns out the guy in the cubicle next to me was using the glory hole to pee through as his toilet was blocked.

Bizarre.

This happened at a boards beers event. He's a regular poster here.

Its common for mens toilets to have glory holes?

Rb

dublindude wrote: »

This is kind of unrelated but...

I was once having a pee in a cubicle when a stream of pee shot across into the bowl. It turns out the guy in the cubicle next to me was using the glory hole to pee through as his toilet was blocked.

Bizarre.

This happened at a boards beers event. He's a regular poster here.

Ah that's just Terry being friendly, nothing to worry about.

Red Hand

dublindude wrote: »

This is kind of unrelated but...

I was once having a pee in a cubicle when a stream of pee shot across into the bowl. It turns out the guy in the cubicle next to me was using the glory hole to pee through as his toilet was blocked.

Bizarre.

This happened at a boards beers event. He's a regular poster here.

Who was it?

PeakOutput

Moonbaby wrote: »

Its common for mens toilets to have glory holes?

its defo common for them to have small holes (peepholes id imagine) but they are usually clogged up with toilet paper. iv never seen anything i would call a glory hole lol

Did everyone else know that their was CCTV is pubs and clubs toilet cubicles?
I'm horrified.......thank god I'm not a weirdo hooverer.

FunkZ

Jaysus I'm a spanner.

"I'm going for a leak, back in a few".

Rhyme

farva wrote: »

Gotta go, serious case of turtle head...

Praire-doggin'

Seriously: "Back in a sec."

AARRRGH

Jeremiah 16:1 wrote: »

Who was it?

YORE MA!

Sorry

No, I made that story up actually... but it would be funny if it were true

Red Hand

I'm more angry at myself for believing it, draht!:mad:

PeakOutput

Moonbaby wrote: »

Did everyone else know that their was CCTV is pubs and clubs toilet cubicles?
I'm horrified.......thank god I'm not a weirdo hooverer.

thats not true and if there are they can only point at the sinks or the door. you cant film the cubicles or the urinals

galwayrush

Seal's Broken

PeakOutput

PeakOutput wrote: »

thats not true and if there are they can only point at the sinks or the door. you cant film the cubicles or the urinals

Thanks be to fock! Bad enough having to avoid the loos after the redecorating hour!

JIZZLORD

i just say i've to empty the auld colostomy bag

kizzyr

I usually just say "have to go to the bathroom, be back in a minute". However when I was single if I was out on a date with someone who turned out to be a total nutter I'd say I had to "go to the bathroom, be back soon" but really go home instead. Strange thing is not once was I asked why I was bringing my coat and bag with me:)

rainbowtrout

my bladder is about to burst...

Holsten

I'm going for a piss/slash.

g5hn710m4xpdwy

Macers wrote: »

"I'm touchin cloth here..."

farva wrote: »

Gotta go, serious case of turtle head...

rb_ie wrote: »

Ah that's just Terry being friendly, nothing to worry about.

You three, are brilliant:)

Sir Gallagher

"I'm going for a slash and or pony"

OPENROAD

Off for a Jimmy Riddle.

jamieh

I musht strain the spuds

Slidey

there is a big brown bear banging on the cave wall...
Brown bear has his diving gear on...
Shake the dew from the lilly!

Doctor DooM

I gotta go drop the kids off at the pool OR

Jimmy Riddle

Or

Urination Station

Kimbot

slideways wrote: »

there is a big brown bear banging on the cave wall...
Brown bear has his diving gear on...
Shake the dew from the lilly!

Ah leave Dr. Turk out of this one....

I'm going to drop the kids off at the pool

or

Bleeding hell me arse is going to explode

Xavi6

Where's the pisser around here?

I'm dyin for a Barry

cormie

SDooM wrote: »

Urination Station

No way, where did you hear that before? I was sure my bro, friend and I made it up, because we definitely didn't hear of it anywhere before we made it up

That or the twilight zone, twilight said to sound like toilet of course.

monkeyfudge

I have to go shake hands with god.

dr.bollocko

Please excuse while I grow red faced and puffy cheeked as I attempt to force a large amount of feculance from my proportionately tiny $hithole.
Actually, can I take that menu with me? Its nice to read something.
If only I brought my Hustler with me, I could stay in there for a sherman.
The up shot, lady, is that this bowel evacuation is gonna take longer than it's worth waiting for me. So why don't you just come along and talk me through it?

Gowranistan

I'm off to drain the proverbial snake. or i'm going for a donald.

Rockee

Goin for a urifacation...

the dee

I heard 'I'm going for a d-flat' once. Apparently all toilets flush in d-flat.

Dyr

kizzyr wrote: »

I usually just say "have to go to the bathroom, be back in a minute". However when I was single if I was out on a date with someone who turned out to be a total nutter I'd say I had to "go to the bathroom, be back soon" but really go home instead. Strange thing is not once was I asked why I was bringing my coat and bag with me:)

Maybe they were just as relieved to see the back of ye?

funk-you

"Excuse me, I feel the need to deficate. Anyone else? No?"

-Funk

briantwin

If im around friends a family -"Hittin the little boys room,i hope theres some little boys left!!"

If im around strangers, i just stand up, point at my crotch and bellow.

Oriel

"Open wide".

Baudelaire

I usually just say "I'm going for a pee" but I don't really like using public toilets. I was in McDonnalds once and there was a sigh that said 'Please "Flush Toilets" after use' and Flush Toilets was in inverted commas so I assumed it was code for something else so I "p1ssed in the sink", now imagine how many other people could have been mistaken like that! public toilets are manky.

kizzyr

Bambi wrote: »

Maybe they were just as relieved to see the back of ye?

LOL maybe there were times they were.

FlutterinBantam

"First two inches is cold" Gotta go take a shít.

Agamemnon

"I must go drain the main vein."