50/50 Finances

Mikel

taconnol wrote: »

Why, why, why can't we drop the whole 'women are generally better at X, men are generally better at Y' thing?
Why do we have to continually analyse the similarities/differences between men and women? I really, really find this dividing of society down the middle and attributing certain characteristics generally to both halves extremely pointless and unhelpful.
Generalisations over entire swathes of people are useless because when you come down to the level of the individual, no one fits neatly into one side or another. I just want to be treated as an individual not as a 'woman

Except of course when you have a grievance and want to complain that 'women' are discriminated against.
Talk about wanting to have your cake and eat it!!
Typical woman

Of course it makes sense to generalise, and it can be empirically tested that men are better at x and women at y. Things are too complex otherwise, you have to generalise. The important thing is how you draw conclusions. It doesn't say anything about any particular man or woman. Why are you so defensive about it?
It's not pointless or 'unhelpful', there's a euphemism is ever I saw one!

The original question I think was based on a false premise. Something along the lines of paying 20% more because you're a woman? But goods aren't sold on the basis of your ability to pay. The % of disposable income will be different for nearly everyone anyway.

To the OP, talk to your other half, if you can't agree, leave

Papillon87

We're both students and it's very much 50/50. It's only right! He's not working at the moment either so I am particularly conscious to offer to pay for things, just as he has looked after me when I've been broke (more than usual that is). That said it's never been an "issue"...we just do it and don't think about it and neither of us is going to throw a strop if the other owes them a few euro for a while.

The Sweeper

Mikel wrote: »

The original question I think was based on a false premise. Something along the lines of paying 20% more because you're a woman? But goods aren't sold on the basis of your ability to pay. The % of disposable income will be different for nearly everyone anyway.

To the OP, talk to your other half, if you can't agree, leave

Mikel, it helps if you READ the original post in the thread.

Mikel

Minesajackdaniels wrote: »

Mikel, it helps if you READ the original post in the thread.

Minesajackdaniels wrote: »

This fascinates me generally - we'd all go bananas if we went into a shop where all of the items had a 15-20% mark-up if they're bought by a woman instead of a man, but we don't bat an eyelid at contributing, say, 80% of our personal income to our joint living arrangements, versus our bloke's 60%.

Originally Posted by Mikel View Post
The original question I think was based on a false premise. Something along the lines of paying 20% more because you're a woman? But goods aren't sold on the basis of your ability to pay. The % of disposable income will be different for nearly everyone anyway.

:rolleyes:

Kiya

oh my god, some of the replies here were crazy....

i have a mortgage with my oh.
he earns at least treble the amount of my wages.

we split the mortgage.
we dont have a joint acc purely because of a previous bad relationship experience he now refuses to have one. (his ex cleared him out)
i pay certain bills like esb, he pays others like gas/sky bill.
he'd pay the more expensive ones too cos i mightnt be able to afford them on a measly pay.

we do a weekly shop and we take it in turns to pay.
most of the time he insists on paying more than me cos he knows im on a smaller salary & its only fair cos he eats more & has really really expensive tastes. (and the amount he eats is mental!! id luv his metabolism)
i could do my weekly shop for the 2 of us for 60
when he does it, the bills more like 200. so its only fair if he buys more expensive items & has to buy 12 packets of chocolates etc...

when i was lost my job he payed for everything & even gave me money for going out, meeting the girls etc.
it was great that he did it, i really love him for it.
but at the same time i felt really really guilty.
i was brought up to be completely independant financially, not to rely on anyone and even though i wasnt sitting on my ass watching tv or sponging off him, i still felt guilty about him paying for things!

even though if the same thing happens to him, i would support him without a second thought, thats what you do for someone you love.

but being female is a huge guiltrip for me & i felt that i wasnt his equal for that time when i was working.
female guilt logic eh!!

watna

Kiya wrote: »

oh my god, some of the replies here were crazy....

i have a mortgage with my oh.
he earns at least treble the amount of my wages.

we split the mortgage.
we dont have a joint acc purely because of a previous bad relationship experience he now refuses to have one. (his ex cleared him out)
i pay certain bills like esb, he pays others like gas/sky bill.
he'd pay the more expensive ones too cos i mightnt be able to afford them on a measly pay.

we do a weekly shop and we take it in turns to pay.
most of the time he insists on paying more than me cos he knows im on a smaller salary & its only fair cos he eats more & has really really expensive tastes. (and the amount he eats is mental!! id luv his metabolism)
i could do my weekly shop for the 2 of us for 60
when he does it, the bills more like 200. so its only fair if he buys more expensive items & has to buy 12 packets of chocolates etc...

when i was lost my job he payed for everything & even gave me money for going out, meeting the girls etc.
it was great that he did it, i really love him for it.
but at the same time i felt really really guilty.
i was brought up to be completely independant financially, not to rely on anyone and even though i wasnt sitting on my ass watching tv or sponging off him, i still felt guilty about him paying for things!

even though if the same thing happens to him, i would support him without a second thought, thats what you do for someone you love.

but being female is a huge guiltrip for me & i felt that i wasnt his equal for that time when i was working.
female guilt logic eh!!

I don't think there's any need to feel guilty, didn't you say you'd do the same for him? Sounds like the two of you have it sussed. I'm sure he wants to look after you as he earns more. You do contribute as much of your salary as you can.

My bf will probably go back to college soon and I'll be working so I'll contribute more. I'm sure I'll be repaid one day when i only feel like working part-time!

p.s. mmmmm 12 boxes of chocolates!

barbiegirl

Me and my other half pretty much have the opinion that everything is going into the same pot. We don't have a joint account and I'd never dream of checking his credit card or him mine. Right now we split bills 50/50, we're saving for a wedding and as I moved jobs last year and more than doubled my wages, all that extra goes to the savings, he pays €800 a month into the pension scheme and saves what is left over after the month towards the wedding. Right now I am putting in a lot more than him, but when kids come along it'll shift the other way around. I don't begrudge the current situation and hopefully won't feel guilty when I need to be supported more by him.
A partnership is exactly that and for us that's the way we see it. Maybe we're still innocent.:rolleyes:

scoot on

I absolutely hate this over analysing of finances in relationships. It drives me batty!
Myself and my oh are together a good few years. We moved in together when I was in college (and on crap money) and he was working (and on good money). We'd split the rent 50/50 but everything else was paid by whoever had money at the time.
Since then I've graduated, we've bought a house and now I earn more than he does (not by much). We don't split anything 50/50. I pay most of the bills because I get paid into the bank. He gets paid in cash so we both use his wages on day to day living. I couldn't tell you who's paid for what over the last 12 months. In my eyes if you're in a partnership with someone then you shouldn't be counting what you've paid vs what he's paid.
One of my best friends will buy credit for her bf's phone and then ask him for the money back. I just don't understand it.