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being asked out

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  • 12-02-2008 5:27pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 991 ✭✭✭


    as ladies, what do you think of being asked out by a guy when its not 3 am on sat night/sun morning.
    basically, being brought up in ireland makes you think that the only way to ask a girl out is when you are drunk and in a club/pub.

    but i stopped binge drinking about 3 years ago now, there was a reason but i wont go into it (wasnt an alcoholic or anything), and since then have gotten used to asking girls out sober.

    so i have the odd time asked a girl out when in a shop and things like that.
    when i tell the lads they always think i'm mad.


    just wondering how you ladies would feel if a guy asked you out in shop or something?


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Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 17,324 ✭✭✭✭Cathmandooo


    It can be very sweet and so much better than the drunk method, it's a lot more genuine! But you don't wanna scare her off thinking you've been watching / stalking her. I say if you like someone (even a stranger) then go for it, lifes too short sure ;)


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,060 ✭✭✭Niamho!


    yeah. wouldnt bother me. i'd be surprised in a good way!!
    i've seen blokes in Random places before and have been really tempted to do something. i never do though. probably coz i'm sober im afraid!! :(


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,392 ✭✭✭TequilaMockingBird


    Depends how you mean "in a shop".

    Is it:

    A. Someone you have met a few times, shared the odd smile, or hi with etc.

    B. Or is it random strangers in a shop that just take your fancy?!

    Answers (imo):

    A. Cool.

    B. Freaked.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 39 Aran61


    Niamho! wrote: »
    yeah. wouldnt bother me. i'd be surprised in a good way!!
    i've seen blokes in Random places before and have been really tempted to do something. i never do though. probably coz i'm sober im afraid!! :(

    Personally would have no problem with it. It's better than getting creepy PMs on here! By the way, does anyone know how to block someone who keeps sending you messages. I said something earlier this afternoon and this guy just won't stop sending me messages.


  • Registered Users Posts: 13,460 ✭✭✭✭fits


    Aran61 wrote: »
    Personally would have no problem with it. It's better than getting creepy PMs on here! By the way, does anyone know how to block someone who keeps sending you messages. I said something earlier this afternoon and this guy just won't stop sending me messages.

    put that user on your ignore list and the messages wont get through.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 55 ✭✭Sam Spade


    aye wrote: »
    so i have the odd time asked a girl out when in a shop and things like that. when i tell the lads they always think i'm mad.

    just wondering how you ladies would feel if a guy asked you out in shop or something?

    I have wondered about that too, I have been out of the dating scene for a very long time and have wondered what the reaction would be in a non pub/club situation. I was on a plane the other day, I noticed the girl at check-in, saw her in the lounge and then I was sitting in the row in front of her on the plane. I would like to have asked her out but felt it was "too public" (if you know what I mean) and that she would have thought I was wierdo or something.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 39 Aran61


    fits wrote: »
    put that user on your ignore list and the messages wont get through.

    Thanks so much ;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    Aran61 wrote: »
    I said something earlier this afternoon and this guy just won't stop sending me messages.

    Nice to know there will always be freaks on the internet. :eek:

    Now then, i have asked girls out on the luas, at a bus stop, in a bank ( while she was behind the counter ) and even, sometimes, in a club!

    I feel it is all about the eye contact? Basically we would have caught eye's a couple of times and maybe shared a little smile or something.

    How do ladies tend to feel about that? it's not as if we have any remote connection or anything, just a look.....normally the same reason you start talking to someone in a club....just with no booze.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 55 ✭✭Sam Spade


    sueme wrote: »
    Depends how you mean "in a shop".

    Is it:

    A. Someone you have met a few times, shared the odd smile, or hi with etc.

    B. Or is it random strangers in a shop that just take your fancy?!

    Answers (imo):

    A. Cool.

    B. Freaked.

    That's why I didn't........would be afraid of that reaction...


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,060 ✭✭✭Niamho!


    Aran61 wrote: »
    Personally would have no problem with it. It's better than getting creepy PMs on here! By the way, does anyone know how to block someone who keeps sending you messages. I said something earlier this afternoon and this guy just won't stop sending me messages.

    Damn i havent got one of those yet. Where have i gone wrong? hehe.

    ...But back on Topic.
    its a pity most people can only do the chatting up thing when theres drink on Board! i suppose its the rejection and the courage to actually do it that the booze helps.
    God if i'd had the bottle i'd have chatted up the hottie in Xtravision that time..... :D


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  • Registered Users Posts: 12,556 ✭✭✭✭AckwelFoley


    Im too much of a chicken sh1t to ask a woman out when im sober. :(

    Drink ftw!


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,392 ✭✭✭TequilaMockingBird


    Max you are smart! I can only say from my own point of view, but,, try to see her again, go back at the same time, drop something in front of her, bump into her, reach for the same item etc etc etc.. Then go for it!

    Good luck!


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,392 ✭✭✭TequilaMockingBird


    Niamho! wrote: »
    God if i'd had the bottle i'd have chatted up the hottie in Xtravision that time..... :D

    Perfect time when you wouldn't need a bottle Niamho...

    This is when stalking could come into play! Check out the same DVD/Game aisle as them, ask what they think of DVD/Game or "have you seen this one" etc.. If they look horrified at you speaking to them then its a no. If not...who knows?!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    Niamho! wrote: »
    its a pity most people can only do the chatting up thing when theres drink on Board! i suppose its the rejection and the courage to actually do it that the booze helps.

    Pretty valid point i think! A few years ago my confidence would have been very low and i would not have been that happy with myself at all! Booze would really have been the only way i could have worked up the courage to chat up a lass that i like!

    The last couple of years have really seen my confidence grow and now i'll talk to the wall when i'm sober and will happily ask someone i feel might interest me out for a drink regardless of the circumstances!

    The whole fear of rejection thing is a big hill to climb, but once you get the simple realisation that not everyone will find you to their taste and thats not a bad thing.....then it all just becomes fun! :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,698 ✭✭✭Dinter


    sueme wrote: »
    Max you are smart! I can only say from my own point of view, but,, try to see her again, go back at the same time, drop something in front of her, bump into her, reach for the same item etc etc etc.. Then go for it!

    Good luck!

    Yes, following her around shows how much you care.

    Perhaps quit your job so you can take it up 24 hours a day.

    She'll be well impressed to know that as she sleeps, eats, works, exercises, bathes, socialises you'll be within earshot, touching yourself.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,060 ✭✭✭Niamho!


    sueme wrote: »
    Perfect time when you wouldn't need a bottle Niamho...

    This is when stalking could come into play! Check out the same DVD/Game aisle as them, ask what they think of DVD/Game or "have you seen this one" etc.. If they look horrified at you speaking to them then its a no. If not...who knows?!

    He was finding out how much he'd get for games. and i looked a bit rough. lol. see thats another thing. guaranteed to see a hottie when i look a state. :mad:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    Niamho! wrote: »
    He was finding out how much he'd get for games. and i looked a bit rough. lol. see thats another thing. guaranteed to see a hottie when i look a state. :mad:

    For some reason i thought that was the other way around and you were the punter!

    Must be my own experience coming back to haunt me! This really pretty lass who works in the Xtra-vision just up from me! The horrible blue tshirt and the fact that she wears really baggy pants does nothing except hide the fact that she is fit as hell and i'd pay good money just to see her with her hair down instead of up as i reckon it would be a total knock out!

    She's about the only lass i keep bottling it with these days! :o


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,392 ✭✭✭TequilaMockingBird


    Dinter wrote: »
    Yes, following her around shows how much you care.

    Perhaps quit your job so you can take it up 24 hours a day.

    She'll be well impressed to know that as she sleeps, eats, works, exercises, bathes, socialises you'll be within earshot, touching yourself.


    :) I meant for the OP to try to make some sort of eye contact within the shop. Not hound the woman.

    I didn't mention find out where she sleeps, eats, works, exercises, bathes, socialises, or listen to her while masturbating.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 55 ✭✭Sam Spade


    sueme wrote: »
    Max you are smart! I can only say from my own point of view, but,, try to see her again, go back at the same time, drop something in front of her, bump into her, reach for the same item etc etc etc.. Then go for it!

    Good luck!


    Sue, It was on a plane, doubt I would meet her again......


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,392 ✭✭✭TequilaMockingBird


    Niamho! wrote: »
    see thats another thing. guaranteed to see a hottie when i look a state. :mad:

    I think its something to do with the lunar cycle and the ebb and flow of the tides...

    Nahh. Its just sheer bad flipping luck. But scarily common bad luck...


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  • Registered Users Posts: 4,392 ✭✭✭TequilaMockingBird


    maxsmart wrote: »
    Sue, It was on a plane, doubt I would meet her again......


    So sorry Maxsmart, I thought you were the OP. (Sorry Aye!). It happened to me once on a plane. And I wished he had. It was very sort of bittersweet. One of those memories you have though. What might have been..


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,698 ✭✭✭Dinter


    sueme wrote: »
    :) I meant for the OP to try to make some sort of eye contact within the shop. Not hound the woman.

    I didn't mention find out where she sleeps, eats, works, exercises, bathes, socialises, or listen to her while masturbating.

    Ah I know I wasn't being serious.

    I didn't start drinking until I was 21 so I never really saw asking a girl out as a difficult problem because I didn't realise it was easier with drink. (Although I would now think it is).

    I would disagree with you in trying to make an issue of "knowing" her before you ask her out though. Best bet is just go for it. Worst that can happen is rejection but at least in her hindsight she won't be thinking of all the times you were floating around. I would see that as far more embarrassing if you meet her again.

    Sure I asked my girlfriend out for the first time after meeting her on a bus and we're together six years now.

    Some women will of course be totally freaked out but you have to take the rough with the smooth. :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 55 ✭✭Sam Spade


    No worries Sue, but going back to the OP, i reckon your reaction would probably be the same reaction from most laydeess......


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,392 ✭✭✭TequilaMockingBird


    Well, whatever way you do it guys, best of luck!

    Keep us posted!


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Dragan wrote: »

    She's about the only lass i keep bottling it with these days! :o

    Reason enough to go for it! Seriously! Pronto!


    One of my friends is now in a relationship with someone who spotted her through a window while at work, and chased after her down the street.
    He has a million and one brownie points with every female who ever heard the story.

    I think in Ireland you have more chances of sucess by asking in daylight hours.
    Because women aren't used to it, so it knocks them off guard. Thereby cutting through the arsehole defense shield system, that the lads in after hours complain about so much.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    snyper wrote: »
    Im too much of a chicken sh1t to ask a woman out when im sober. :(

    Drink ftw!

    I was out in Athlone over christmas and the club was full of miserable looking single people avoiding each other....and one drunken sleaze trying to make contact with everyone.

    Have no idea how you repopulate there.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,658 ✭✭✭old boy


    i often got pulled in the menswear section of my local dunnes, but that was yonks ago, before i got hurt, just kept checking different clothes looking lost, morning times were best, happy memorys tho


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,537 ✭✭✭Gyalist


    OP, you may not realise it but this is a fantasy for women all over the world. It's the reason why fairy tales, chick films, chick-lit, etc. resonate so powerfully with women. The fantasy of the handsome prince unexpectedly arriving on his white steed and sweeping them away. Irish men don't seem to understand this.

    I've never been a drinker and I'm not Irish so I have never associated alcohol with meeting women. It really is remarkable how many people it's possible to meet if you are confident. I've recently been out with a woman I met in Hodges Figgis and another that I met in an internet cafe. On my walk to work this morning I flirted with the hot Brazilian woman distributing the free newspaper, the assistant in the boulangerie who serves me every day, and a sales assistant in Dunne's who blushed furiously when I remarked on her beautiful name.

    I see all the threads in PI about how difficult it is to meet women and, quite frankly, they mystify me.


  • Registered Users Posts: 829 ✭✭✭MattKid


    I think if you give a good enough reason for taking an interest in the girl (try for something a little better than I saw you from over there and thought you were hot) then it should hopefully freak them out less and make them more comfortable with the situation.

    If a random girl came up to me and asked me out my first reaction would be why. If I was wearing a band T shirt and she came up and started saying how she loved the band and we chatted about them a bit and she then asked if I'd like to go get a drink, I'd probably say yes


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  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Gyalist wrote: »
    Irish men don't seem to understand this.

    Do you mind me asking where you are from?


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