Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

being asked out

Options
13»

Comments

  • Options
    #62
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Dragan wrote: »
    For the ladies i would ask what is the logic behind the "he could be anyone" argument! It's not as if pubs and clubs and such have a vetting system that only lets in suitable and sane possible partners.

    If that was the case they would be empty.

    Whenever i approach a lass in an unconventional situation i.e. NOT in the pub etc it's always because there is something about you that is very, very interesting and attractive.

    The next time it happens to any of the ladies here remember that you have just been paid quite the compliment. :)



    Ah but there is a difference between seeing someone two or three nights in the same bar/club where ever and they come over to talk to you and someone stopping you walking down the street and stopping to talk to and asking you to go for a drink.

    Yes chatting people needs to happen out side of the pub more but so many people will only date with in their social circles, friend of a friend or friend of family. This affords a certain measure of safety cos the person is known to people and you can get info on them and there are ways of using these connections as leverage to pass messages. That can also be the draw back.

    Ireland has been such a small country that that is the way things have been for years and the idea of going on a date with a relative stranger is too weird for a lot of people which is why internet dating sites are so popular as you can learn a certain ammount about a person before a date.

    There was wonderful blog written about how to get a gril using goggle it is about how to have a web presence and be out there looking.

    http://www.mulley.net/2006/07/23/how-to-use-google-to-get-a-girl-and-get-laid/

    It's a new century it is about time somethings started changing for the better.


  • Options
    #63
    Dragan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    Niamho! wrote: »
    So if someone was direct about it, minimum conversation, straight to the point, Heres my number, and you were attracted to them, you would get in touch??

    Well, this is me so i would simply ask them what they were doing right there and then and see if they would like to grab a coffee or some lunch or something!

    If they were busy i would just call them later and set something up. I don't do games and bull****, if i am interested then i am interested, plain and simple.

    But in short yes, if a girl walked up to me, gave me her number and i thought she was my cup of tea then absolutely i would call her.


  • Options
    #64
    aye
    Closed Accounts Posts: 991 ✭✭✭aye


    Dragan wrote: »
    Well, this is me so i would simply ask them what they were doing right there and then and see if they would like to grab a coffee or some lunch or something!

    If they were busy i would just call them later and set something up. I don't do games and bull****, if i am interested then i am interested, plain and simple.

    But in short yes, if a girl walked up to me, gave me her number and i thought she was my cup of tea then absolutely i would call her.

    dam right, games suck ass.
    i hate playing games.

    of course you should call? why not? take a chance.
    i think guys are more willing to take a chance than the girls really.

    i think handing someone a number tho is a risk, probably better to ask them out before giving them your number?


  • Options
    #65
    Sam Spade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 55 ✭✭Sam Spade


    Cazlou wrote: »
    I'd have to agree with SarahSassy, it'd be nice to be asked out by a sober gent for a change....
    In response to MaxSmart's question, if I may, as SS said, depending on the guy whether I'd say yes but if there was some kind of spark I'd definitely take his number and seriously think about dropping him a line, because basically if he's seen you sober you don't have to worry about beer-goggles:D

    So yes lads I think ye should definitely take the plunge with the girlies - sure what's the worse that can happen??!!;):)

    I would agree with you that there would need to be some attraction from the girls point, but I think most women would "run" whereas in a pub/club situation it's accepted/expected.....

    I reckon that's why most guys dont't do it (other than Aye & Dragan, fair play to ye!)


  • Options
    #66
    Babette08
    Closed Accounts Posts: 157 ✭✭Babette08


    First of all it’s always a compliment to be asked out regardless of who’s doing the asking, example in point - a couple of wks ago a homeless guy peaking out from his little cardboard house shouted out ‘Marry Me’ ha ha – If I’m ever hard up I’ll be back to that spot :D

    On the other hand on Monday evening I was rushing through town when I passed this absolutely beautiful boy (foreign)..so much so that I was distracted to the point that as he passed, eye contact haven been made, I had to look behind me and grab a second look. As it turns out he was doing exactly the same thing and we both caught each other and laughed out load – would have loved for him to ask me out but it happened so fast and we were going in different directions :(

    Generally though it just isn’t really accepted or that common over here, and that’s why I think most girls are a little taken aback and suspicious of motivations. In NY it’s a bit of a shock to the system but you get used to it after a few days and it makes a nice change from the usual drunken approach.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #67
    LilyM1980
    Registered Users Posts: 68 ✭✭LilyM1980


    If a guy just walk up to me in a shop or something, I would of course be flattered with the compliment but I would be surprised,especially when you are not expecting it.

    Why not, I suppose a coffee during the day wouldn't hurt and then you will have know obligations if there is no spark.

    If there is, then that's a bonus :)


  • Options
    #68
    Blush_01
    Registered Users Posts: 5,016 ✭✭✭Blush_01


    I think the biggest issue is that it's so alien here that it's hard to take it seriously. It's so unusual here that if an absolute stranger comes up to you your guard is immediately up - we're all taught as kids not to talk to strangers. Some people take things a little far and it can be intimidating. I'm not kidding myself, I'm no looker, but I've been followed by men three or four times who I haven't even talked to, and it's a horrible feeling, to think that you've been watched and followed. Ironic, coming from a people watcher, but hey.

    That said, if someone I'd made eye contact with a few times and had maybe said hello to in passing a few times asked me if I fancied a drink, I wouldn't say no. Then again, there's always the chance that they might be taking the p!ss...

    Final answer: Give it a shot, I guess. What do you have to lose?


  • Options
    #69
    aye
    Closed Accounts Posts: 991 ✭✭✭aye


    what about in the gym?
    realised last night that there are loads of hot girls in my gym.
    i had noticed before, they just seemed to all congregate last night.


  • Options
    #70
    TerrorFirmer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 29,930 ✭✭✭✭TerrorFirmer


    I don't think I'd ever ask someone out totally randomly. Any girl I've been with, has been somewhat of a friend first - in the sense that I've talked to them for at least a few weeks before we got together, got to know them, and had a fairly good judge of their character.


  • Options
    #71
    Dragan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    aye wrote: »
    what about in the gym?
    realised last night that there are loads of hot girls in my gym.
    i had noticed before, they just seemed to all congregate last night.

    The gym can be good but you gotta be careful about it. In my experience a lot of ladies don't like the whole idea of being chatted up in the gym. They are there to get a workout done as well, ya know?

    It can be a great way to make friends and possibly have things move on from there. Have had some success through the gym if i am honest.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #72
    Maple
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 16,186 ✭✭✭✭Maple


    I used live in Italy, after a month of walking around getting cat-called and having men exclaim over my blue eyes I felt I was Claudia Schiffer. The attention was hilarious, of course you couldn't take it seriously because they were like that with everyone.

    On my first night back in Dublin after the year away, I stopped in Maynooth with a friend. Got out of the car and the first thing I heard roared at me in a nice big thick Irish accent was "show us yer f&nny luv". Nice. :D


  • Options
    #73
    Dragan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    maple wrote: »
    On my first night back in Dublin after the year away, I stopped in Maynooth with a friend. Got out of the car and the first thing I heard roared at me in a nice big thick Irish accent was "show us yer f&nny luv". Nice. :D
    The Italians may have a degree of greasy charm....and perfect hair but an Irish boy will make you laugh every time! :D


  • Options
    #74
    piscean
    Closed Accounts Posts: 214 ✭✭piscean


    Dragan wrote: »
    The gym can be good but you gotta be careful about it. In my experience a lot of ladies don't like the whole idea of being chatted up in the gym. They are there to get a workout done as well, ya know?

    It can be a great way to make friends and possibly have things move on from there. Have had some success through the gym if i am honest.

    God i'd hate someone asking me out in gym - normally have big sweaty red face on me, although if he/she likes you when you're sweaty then it bodes well for future:D
    Have seen few fellas in my gym checking girls out in past - most of the blokes are too muscly for my liking plus my OH goes to gym with me!


  • Options
    #75
    aye
    Closed Accounts Posts: 991 ✭✭✭aye


    piscean wrote: »
    most of the blokes are too muscly for my liking plus my OH goes to gym with me!

    i always wondered what constitues too muscly?


  • Options
    #76
    Niamho!
    Registered Users Posts: 1,060 ✭✭✭Niamho!


    aye wrote: »
    i always wondered what constitues too muscly?

    hmm....well i know for me i do not like Muscles at all really.
    See justin Timberlak for Example, i think even he'd be a bit too muscly for my liking. but at the same time i dont like Scrawny...


  • Options
    #77
    aye
    Closed Accounts Posts: 991 ✭✭✭aye


    Niamho! wrote: »
    hmm....well i know for me i do not like Muscles at all really.
    See justin Timberlak for Example, i think even he'd be a bit too muscly for my liking. but at the same time i dont like Scrawny...

    he kinda very toned, not too big tho.
    i'd have the same body shape as him really, but i havent achieved that six pack yet (working on it).
    but i wouldnt think that would be too muscly, i would have thought it would be more like sly stallone muscly.


  • Options
    #78
    Niamho!
    Registered Users Posts: 1,060 ✭✭✭Niamho!


    YEAH....i think maybe i might be a bit weird on that front... toned is good im just not into Muscle at all.


  • Options
    #79
    Babette08
    Closed Accounts Posts: 157 ✭✭Babette08


    aye wrote: »
    he kinda very toned, not too big tho.
    i'd have the same body shape as him really, but i havent achieved that six pack yet (working on it).
    but i wouldnt think that would be too muscly, i would have thought it would be more like sly stallone muscly.

    Lucky boy - think JT had the perfect body - not too muscly - but perfectly toned. Footballers bodies are an example of this, over worked bodies look ridiculous IMHO :D


  • Options
    #80
    Dragan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    At the risk of sounding like a bit of cock.....JT is just your average bloke off the street who watches what he eats and works out a bit!

    Fair play to the chap for staying in good nick on the road but being in that kind of "shape" is not difficult. It's just that Justin has the dedication and willpower to acheive it and i can respect that!

    Not the kind of look i would seek for myself. I do enjoy being bigger than your average bear!


  • Options
    #81
    aye
    Closed Accounts Posts: 991 ✭✭✭aye


    Babette08 wrote: »
    Lucky boy - think JT had the perfect body - not too muscly - but perfectly toned. Footballers bodies are an example of this, over worked bodies look ridiculous IMHO :D

    YES :D

    gonna save that to remember it!


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #82
    Dragan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    aye wrote: »
    YES :D

    gonna save that to remember it!

    Get the six pack and get out there bro! Confident enough to chat up a lass in odd circumstances and with a body like JT i imagine the girls will respond well to that one! :D


  • Options
    #83
    aye
    Closed Accounts Posts: 991 ✭✭✭aye


    Dragan wrote: »
    Get the six pack and get out there bro! Confident enough to chat up a lass in odd circumstances and with a body like JT i imagine the girls will respond well to that one! :D

    working on it. just have to keep it tensed if talking to a girl for the moment :D

    they fecking better! :p


  • Options
    #84
    piscean
    Closed Accounts Posts: 214 ✭✭piscean


    Babette08 wrote: »
    Footballers bodies are an example of this, over worked bodies look ridiculous IMHO :D

    Defo agree - you want an athletic body (toned) - Beckham with his top off is a perfect example of toned but not too muscly


  • Options
    #85
    Dragan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    Thats mad! I'm really glad i don't work out to get laid, otherwise i'd end up looking like something i'd never want to look like!!!

    It is kind of funny the changes i have seen in other men as they follow the image that is being pushed as to "what is sexy". I have seen several mates completely change from a look they loved and had cultivated for years just to try and get more ladies!

    Scary stuff indeed! But, thats off topic......so back to the whole chatting up in random places thing!

    Any input from the ladies on the best way to be approached etc?

    I always find the wait for eye contact, give a smile and then say "Hi" tends to work a treat!


  • Options
    #86
    coffee_cake
    Registered Users Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭coffee_cake


    aye wrote:
    just wondering how you ladies would feel if a guy asked you out in shop or something?

    much better than some drunken eejit in a club


  • Options
    #87
    takola
    Registered Users Posts: 4,138 ✭✭✭takola


    TBH and I think I said the same yesterday in the appreciation thread, It's all about face for me. I won't be interested in ya at all if you have a gorgeous body but look in any way scary/angry etc. If that makes sense? :confused:

    I agree Dragan, Eye contact, smile etc and then say hi. But whatever you do, don't give her a chance to leg it! :D


  • Options
    #88
    Niamho!
    Registered Users Posts: 1,060 ✭✭✭Niamho!


    what i was thinking about the Forward approach with the handing the number thing. if i was on the receiving end i wouldnt mind either. i'd find it quite intriguing....


  • Options
    #89
    Black Swan
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 47,241 CMod ✭✭✭✭Black Swan


    3AM (or approaching 2AM in the States) in a pub/club/bar is called the "Desperation Hour." It's when several single lads start to panic. It's a craic for my flatmate and I to watch, but it would never work on us, no matter how drunk we were.

    Now approaching us at one of the javahouses* we frequent (by day or night), not asking straight out, but joining us in conversation, well, it would depend upon a lot of things (personality, confidence, interests, fitness, and yes, physical attractiveness).



    *Or the beach where we surf, or at university, or wherever it is relaxed and easy to chat.


Advertisement