Chat Up Lines

deise gal

Considering the day that's in it i decided to start a thread with Chat up lines, the cheesy & the serious ones are welcome!!!

I'll get the ball rolling
Totally overused but funny;
Is your name gillette? Cause you are the best a man can get !:D

chopperbyrne

"Okay I'm here, what are your other two wishes?!!"

Degsy

"This face leaves in ten minutes..be on it!"

Pighead

Degsy wrote: »

"This face leaves in ten minutes..be on it!"

Still single then Degsy me old mucker?

Gavin "shels"

"How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice".:D

witnessmenow

How much does a polar bear weigh? Doesn't matter it broke the ice

Edit:too slow

That top is quite becoming on you.... if i was on you i'd be coming too

Your eyes are blue like the ocean and baby, I'm lost at sea

how do you like your eggs in the morning? Fertilized?

That dress looks good.. it would look better on my bedroom floor

Nice legs, what time do they open?

Nice shoes..... wanna ****?

"does this smell like chloroform to you"

JustCoz

"If I told you that you had a nice figure would you hold it against me?"

Gavin "shels"

witnessmenow wrote: »

That top is quite becoming on you.... if i was on you i'd be coming too



how do you like your eggs in the morning? Fertilized?

That dress looks good.. it would look better on my bedroom floor

Nice legs, what time do they open?

Haha quality one's there.

whatsgoinon

boy scobe: have i seen you somewhere before?
me (not scobe): yeah in your dreams

Beecher

Its a good thing I brought my Library card....because im checking you out!

pyure

"I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you. What do ya say ?"

Disclaimer: using this line may result in pain, use with caution

feylya

"You'll do"

cson

How's your mother for turf?

D'ya have much land?

How's your belly for a lodger?

briantwin

Only use when turned down!!

Loud music in the club
me "hey, do you want to dance?"
woman "No, you're alright!"
me "no i think you heard me wrong , i said you're a fat c*nt!"

:D

Pigwidgeon

i once got:
"is theres a mirror in ur jeans cos i can see myself in them"

whatsgoinon

cson wrote: »

How's your belly for a lodger?

brilliant, i'd marry a man if he said that to me!!!:D

Mr. Presentable

Pighead wrote: »

Still single then Degsy me old mucker?

And that's your chat up line, Pighead? Does it even work on Degsy?

briantwin

Pen and paper in hand.....
Walk up
"hey whats your name?"
"Linda, Why?"
"Just putting you on the to do list!" :cool:

red_ice

"i wanna be on you"

---

"Hey there, fancy coming to the back seat of my car for coffee?"

---

"Hi, wanna do maths? Add me and you, subtract your cloths, divide your legs and we can mMmMmmMMmmMmultiply"

red_ice

bluewolf wrote: »

"does this smell like chloroform to you"

Class.

FunkZ

briantwin wrote: »

Only use when turned down!!

Loud music in the club
me "hey, do you want to dance?"
woman "No, you're alright!"
me "no i think you heard me wrong , i said you're a fat c*nt!"

:D

That one is a stroke of excellence!

A friend of mine uses this one though "you're the fattest bird in here so ya must be fairly easy right?" :rolleyes:

Da Bomber

"i want to kiss you passionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button"

briantwin

"You've got grand big shoulders on ya, thats unusual in a woman!"
Queue "Dawson Creek OST" and passion!!

MIN2511

"So what do you want to do with me"

DEmeant0r

If Your Right Leg Was Easter And Your Left Leg Was Christmas .. Could I Visit You Between Holiday's ??

talking_walnut

I wish I was your derivative so I could lay tangent to your curves

Toots

I may not be Fred Flinstone, but I know I could make your BedRock

Did you just fart? Cos you blew me away!

How about you sit in my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?

Put your crash helmet on, you're going through the headboard.

tolosenc

talking_walnut wrote: »

I wish I was your derivative so I could lay tangent to your curves

*scurries off to college maths party*

talking_walnut

obl wrote: »

*scurries off to college maths party*

Just came across it 2 mins ago. New Scientist ran a competition for the nerdiest chat up lines a while ago. I'll try n root them out later.

Dord

DEmeant0r wrote: »

If Your Right Leg Was Easter And Your Left Leg Was Christmas .. Could I Visit You Between Holiday's ??

ROFL! Excellent.

kryogen

while walking past a girl gently go *sniff, sniff* "you smell clean"

also, look around nonchelantly till you catch a girls eye, then approach her and say, "you'll do"

You look almost stupid enough to date me.

I won't unlock these handcuffs until you agree to go out with me.

Be unique and different, say yes.

Hi, I'm a virgin, so you don't have to worry about catching anything.

admiralofthefleet

do you want to 50/50 on a bastard

howz your tummy for a lodger

deaddonkey

I wanna mount you. Like a stuffed deer.

and no, it didn't work.

Drift

Would you like to dance? .... Well f*ck off out on the dance floor then I want to chat to your friend.

Terry

kryogen wrote: »

You look almost stupid enough to date me.

I'm using that one tonight.

Xavi6

"Sorry there burd, ya dropped somethin......me jaw"

truecrippler

JustCoz wrote: »

"If I told you that you had a nice figure would you hold it against me?"

I love that one man, gonna use it on a chick I work with tomorrow. Should have had the balls to ask her tonight, but I didn't. Argh!!!

whatsgoinon

Drift wrote: »

Would you like to dance? .... Well f*ck off out on the dance floor then I want to chat to your friend.

oh lord, i'm crying laughing over this one, that's brilliant, if you said that to me I wouldn't be upset, I'd be delighted my friend got with someone with a sense of humour (and had a guide dog cos I'm stunning:D and love dogs!!!:D

truecrippler

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]If I flip a coin, what are the chances of me getting head?

[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Hey, how about you sit on my face and let me eat my way to you heart?

[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Are you from Ireland? Cause when I look at you my penis is Dublin.

[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I'm an astronaut & my next mission is to explore uranus!

[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]My mom told me to never look at pretty girls because i will turn into a statue! In fact i can feel myself getting hard right now!

[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Screw me if I'm wrong, but isn't that Elvis over there?

[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Will you sleep with me tonight? Cuz I'm afraid of the dark.

[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] This is a condom. If we put it on me, we can have sex.

haha love the last one.
[/FONT]

Edit: What am I doing up so late?

funk-you

"Are you any good at farming?"
"Why?"
"Because i'd like to plough you"

OR

"My mate right there wants to know if you think i'm cute"

-Funk

Degsy

"Do ya like fruit?...well suck me cock its a peach!"
"Do you like jewellery?..Well suck me cock its a gem!"

Wossack

You do a student discount..? *to be said while rifling though wallet*

Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

Want to come back to my place for pizza and sex? No? Dont like pizza?

Hi, Im new in town. Can I have directions to your house?

Excuse me, do you wanna fcuk, or should I apologize.

You dont sweat much for a fat chick.

Wow! Your eyes are the same colour as my Porsche!

lolipops

''are you wearing space pants?.. because your ass is out of this world''

''did you ever work on a chicken farm?.. because you sure as hell know how to raise cocks''

''are you from tennessee? .... because you are the only ten i see''

''i lost my phone number... can i have yours?''

'' can i have a picture of you?.. because i want to show santa what i want for christmas''

'' Are you a parking ticket? because you have fine written all over you!''

''If kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you a blizzard.''

KnifeWRENCH

talking_walnut wrote:

Just came across it 2 mins ago. New Scientist ran a competition for the nerdiest chat up lines a while ago. I'll try n root them out later.

Something like these?:

"We must be differently charged particles....because I'm positively attracted to you"

"If I were any enzyme, I'd be DNA polymerase...because then I could unzip your genes."

stevoman

"do you wanna go halves on a bastard???"

deisemum

How much road frontage have you

would you risk it for a biscuit

the iron man

is your dad a lumber jack? because everytime i think of you i get wood in my pants

deisemum

The old classic, is that a truncheon in your pocket or are you just glad to see me

azezil

To a foreign burd, "do you have any Irish in you?" .... "would you like to "

briantwin

azezil wrote: »

To a foreign burd, "do you have any Irish in you?" .... "would you like to "

Thats an old one Phil Lynott used on stage. remember it on one of the CD's.