Trying to conceive/Planned parenthood/Assisted Reproduction Chat thread.

Penny Dreadful

Lucuma wrote: »

Right ladies ye've inspired me......I clearly need to step up the excuses from now on. To be honest, ideally I'd prefer not to drink at all during the 2 week wait. From now on I'm going to try designated driver as much as possible, failing that (e.g. like this weekend when have house guests) I'll say I had a kidney infection that normal antibiotics didn't clear so I had to get Flagyl and Simpleton (thanks for those names Penny Dreadful!!) to try and clear it!


Say one or the other. If you were on both you'd be as sick as a dog on not out socialising.
Once I had to take Flagyl and something else (can't remember the name of it now) at the same time (gum infection- nasty one) and the side effects were so strong I had to take a few days off work. Its funny, the ailment for which I was taking them wasn't bad enough to keep me off but the drugs I had to take to treat it were so bad I couldn't go in.
The stupid thing is this weekend as I was host and our visitors had travelled a long distance to visit, I knew they'd have more fun if I was drinking (coz otherwise they wouldn't feel comfortable drinking if I wasn't) so my hostess with the mostess reaction kicked in and I felt like I HAD to drink at least a few here and there. Really silly.....I need to get my priorities straight!

Non alcoholic wine is a great one to have in your house if you're having people over to dinner.
As the host you're most likely going to be the one in charge of topping up the wine glasses and so you can put a non alcoholic wine into your glass and no one is going to know the difference.

In general you can also just say you're on a health kick before Christmas, you're keen to get skin and hair clear and healthy for the festive season and so its fish, vegetables, brown rice and water all the way.
Its such a good thing to do anyway and is also a favourite "what celeb is on what juice/ no food diet" conversation starter too that it once again distracts from your not drinking alcohol.

In general though people should just respect the choice not to drink any alcohol if you just don't want to regardless of any other motivation.

ShaShaBear

I think the real problem is, for me anyway, that I can make all the excuses I like - everyone knows now that I was in fact pregnant when they suspected and I lied to the contrary.

So when number 2 is on the way, they'll probably make the same assumption again!

Lucuma

Penny Dreadful wrote: »

Non alcoholic wine is a great one to have in your house if you're having people over to dinner.
As the host you're most likely going to be the one in charge of topping up the wine glasses and so you can put a non alcoholic wine into your glass and no one is going to know the difference.

OMG brilliant idea! Wish I'd thought of that before this weekend. Our guests are big drinkers, so me saying I was on a health kick would have come across as a direct judgement of them and their drinking, the last thing I would want (for my guests to feel uncomfortable)

The non-alc wine stashed in d cupboard is a good one though! Requires a bit of dexterity to pull it off e g open wine bottle on table so why am I going to the kitchen to top up mine?! But you're right if there's any chance of pulling it off it's when You are the host

Lucuma

ShaShaBear wrote: »

I think the real problem is, for me anyway, that I can make all the excuses I like - everyone knows now that I was in fact pregnant when they suspected and I lied to the contrary.

So when number 2 is on the way, they'll probably make the same assumption again!

Hmm yeah the excuses are less believable in that instance!
However lying to cover up an actual pregnancy and lying to cover up TTC are two different ball games I think. In the case of the former it's OK for everyone to guess why you're not drinking, it's kind of an unwritten rule people may guess but they let you away with the lie. In any event the happy news will be revealed in due course and everyone can have a laugh about how they guessed when you weren't drinking etc...!

Lying about why you're not drinking to cover up TTC is a bit different though. It's a bit more complicated

ShaShaBear

Lucuma wrote: »

Hmm yeah the excuses are less believable in that instance!
However lying to cover up an actual pregnancy and lying to cover up TTC are two different ball games I think. In the case of the former it's OK for everyone to guess why you're not drinking, it's kind of an unwritten rule people may guess but they let you away with the lie. In any event the happy news will be revealed in due course and everyone can have a laugh about how they guessed when you weren't drinking etc...!

Lying about why you're not drinking to cover up TTC is a bit different though. It's a bit more complicated

I meant that I had been avoiding drinking while TTC :P
When it came out that I was pregnant people just assumed that they were right when they thought that's what I was at. Even though I wasn't at the time.

Neyite

non alcoholic beer looks like the real deal. Also vodka and cranberry (without the vodka )

Lucuma

Neyite wrote: »

non alcoholic beer looks like the real deal. Also vodka and cranberry (without the vodka )

The problem is the round system....you have to say what you're having to the person buying the round. This weekend there were only 4 of us so it would have come across as very standoffish if himself +myself said we were doing our own round. Although that would defo work well in a larger group, we say we're doing our own thing then sneak in d non-alc stuff. As long as they don't serve it as happened to me recently - in a glass with 'Alcohol Free Erdinger' written down the side - thanks barman!!

Neyite

Stoopid barman getting you the wrong beer. Tsk!

If I had got the wrong one, I would have discreetly swapped with my partner who was on alert to purchase and subsitute. But it never happened because I'm just a really slow drinker so skipped a few of the rounds.

Penny Dreadful

Lucuma wrote: »

The problem is the round system....you have to say what you're having to the person buying the round. This weekend there were only 4 of us so it would have come across as very standoffish if himself +myself said we were doing our own round. Although that would defo work well in a larger group, we say we're doing our own thing then sneak in d non-alc stuff. As long as they don't serve it as happened to me recently - in a glass with 'Alcohol Free Erdinger' written down the side - thanks barman!!

When someone else is going up to get drinks try saying "you know what I'm going to slow it down a bit for the evening, don't want to be in a bad way tomorrow so for this round I'll have xxxx only. Then when the next round is ready to be bought make sure you've sipped slowly so you don't need a drink. After that it could be your round / your husband's round again and you can sort yourself out no problem.
Alternatively people could just respect your choices..........but thats another argument for another day.

Lucuma

Hmm drink slow to skip a round, another good one!

When I wasn't ovulating earlier this year, I gave up alcohol, caffeine, processed foods etc for a few months to try & kick start my ovaries into action. Honestly the looks + comments I got about not drinking ....very annoying! One thing about Irish society we seriously need to change. My female friends were respectful but most of my friends are lads so it went down like a lead balloon. Anyway on that note hub +myself are off drink til Xmas we pledged today!
(except for conciliatory vino when I get my period, I think I deserve that)

Penny Dreadful

Lucuma wrote: »

Hmm drink slow to skip a round, another good one!

When I wasn't ovulating earlier this year, I gave up alcohol, caffeine, processed foods etc for a few months to try & kick start my ovaries into action. Honestly the looks + comments I got about not drinking ....very annoying! One thing about Irish society we seriously need to change. My female friends were respectful but most of my friends are lads so it went down like a lead balloon. Anyway on that note hub +myself are off drink til Xmas we pledged today!
(except for conciliatory vino when I get my period, I think I deserve that)

Actually giving up alcohol in November right up until Christmas is quite common so should give you a breather.

I don't really drink much and as I've gotten older I find that I'm much less interested in drinking a lot for the sake of it. I really like a nice glass of red wine on a Friday evening by the fire just to chill out. I love a nice glass of wine with dinner if I'm out for a meal. That said I can easily go months without having any desire for a drink at all. Shorts have never worked for me as I detest the taste of all of them. Beer makes me burp/ food repeat on my too much anyway. The odd glass of Savanah Dry cider in the summer when the weather is warm is also nice but again can take it or leave it.
I'm lucky I suppose in that almost all of my / our group of friends doesn't push the drinking thing. It makes it easier to stand over your decision not to.
Its funny that people who do put pressure on you to drink really are often doing it so that they don't feel uncomfortable when they do. If you're having one glass of wine then why do you need a drinking partner? Its when you're going to have loads to drink and will probably get a bit messy that you want a partner in crime as their judgment will be slightly skewed and you won't feel judged/ paranoid.

TomeeTipee

stickybean wrote: »

s

You have it right, 20% chance every cycle! Just as a comparative (we heard this at a fertility talk last week ) rats and rabbit have 80% each cycle!!!

I wonder if we went at it like rabbits would it improve our odds

You ladies have some great excuses for not drinking. I've been ttc for 3 years so at this stage no one even asks why I'm not drinking, they're well used to it. In saying that I do have a drink now & then, depending on where I am in my cycle & after this long, sometimes you just need a drink anyway. I've been lucky enough over the years to get very few comments when I'm not drinking & at this stage I reckon people have copped what's going on, so they don't say anything

Penny Dreadful

TomeeTipee wrote: »

I wonder if we went at it like rabbits would it improve our odds

You ladies have some great excuses for not drinking. I've been ttc for 3 years so at this stage no one even asks why I'm not drinking, they're well used to it. In saying that I do have a drink now & then, depending on where I am in my cycle & after this long, sometimes you just need a drink anyway. I've been lucky enough over the years to get very few comments when I'm not drinking & at this stage I reckon people have copped what's going on, so they don't say anything

Or are grown up enough to respect your choices.:)

I remember watching a programme about foetal alcohol syndrome and there is a state in the USA (can't remember which one now, was a Mid Western / Bible Belt one) that wanted to make it illegal for any woman of child bearing age/potential to drink alcohol. Their reasoning being that you could be pregnant at any stage and no know it and who knows what untold harm you'd do your child.
This state allows you to drive without insurance and to be in a car without wearing a seatbelt though. :rolleyes:

Lucuma

Penny Dreadful wrote: »

My husband was in the Rotunda this morning to drop off this sample

So was the total cost really only 30 euro for his testing? Was it into the HARI unit in the Rotunda that he dropped it? Don't know what the extra charge from them was for my Other Half, because he gave the sample in there whereas your OH brought his in?!

Penny Dreadful

Lucuma wrote: »

So was the total cost really only 30 euro for his testing? Was it into the HARI unit in the Rotunda that he dropped it? Don't know what the extra charge from them was for my Other Half, because he gave the sample in there whereas your OH brought his in?!

Hi, just asked him and he confirmed €30. He called the lab last week and asked for microbiology. They gave him an appointment for 9am, told him the drill re:3 days no sex before hand. He has to go to patient accounts before hand and pay the bill and then hand the sample along with the receipt from patient accounts and the letter from the GP in to specimen reception. Job done.

TomeeTipee

Lucuma wrote: »

So was the total cost really only 30 euro for his testing? Was it into the HARI unit in the Rotunda that he dropped it? Don't know what the extra charge from them was for my Other Half, because he gave the sample in there whereas your OH brought his in?!

My understanding is that the test done in Hari is actually a different test - a more in depth analysis or something like that.

My OH was due to go to the Rotunda & pay €30 but we are also being referred to Hari & they won't accept the normal Rotunda test, so now we have to do the full, expensive Hari test instead!

Lucuma

Ah thanks for clarifying that TomeeTipee.....

we didn't need the in depth test for the first test though, my OH's GP in Dublin should have only referred him for the normal test for god's sake....we're trying less than a year and are under 35, I mean we didn't question what his GP told him to do. Very annoyed at that now!

bobskii

Hmmmm i must seem very ignorent to people if i say im not drinkin and they question it i always say i don't feel like it(which usually is true cos im not a big drinker)
However when i gave up smoking the gossips were in overdrive:eek:
Dunno how many times i heard i was pregnant then,i gave them up cos i said well when i do fall pregnant i'm gonna have ta do it anyway:D

At this stage in our travels if someone asks outright i tell them what's going on,if they are looking for gossip they are sent on their merry way with a load of made up nonsense that i will no doubt hear back at some stage and laugh at:D

Penny Dreadful

bobskii wrote: »

Hmmmm i must seem very ignorent to people if i say im not drinkin and they question it i always say i don't feel like it(which usually is true cos im not a big drinker)
However when i gave up smoking the gossips were in overdrive:eek:
Dunno how many times i heard i was pregnant then,i gave them up cos i said well when i do fall pregnant i'm gonna have ta do it anyway:D

At this stage in our travels if someone asks outright i tell them what's going on,if they are looking for gossip they are sent on their merry way with a load of made up nonsense that i will no doubt hear back at some stage and laugh at:D

But giving up smoking is a good move for anyone whether pregnant/TTC / or not.
People do love to gossip don't they. I've changed jobs recently enough within the same organisation as I was working in previously. The place of work is quite big and has many employees. My new role now has me in a position of seeing and hearing a lot of confidential sensitive information pertaining to the wider place of work. Since I've taken up the new position I've been shocked at the nasty, negative gossiping I hear from so many people, all of whom are trying to get me to divulge information. They don't want the information for any good reason only to moan and complain.
Its very annoying.

Penny Dreadful

Lucuma wrote: »

Ah thanks for clarifying that TomeeTipee.....

we didn't need the in depth test for the first test though, my OH's GP in Dublin should have only referred him for the normal test for god's sake....we're trying less than a year and are under 35, I mean we didn't question what his GP told him to do. Very annoyed at that now!

That is annyoing. The costs of TTC even before you go down the route of IVF or the like build up quickly.
On acupuncture, OPKs (and I haven't used many of those at all), pregnancy tests (3 used), GP consultation, bloods and semen analysis I'd say I've spent €800-€1000. Thats only since the summer.

Lucuma

"bobskii wrote: »

which usually is true cos im not a big drinker)

Well done giving up the fags :-)

Not a big drinker....like many in here. This is my problem I think, my mis-spent youth coming back to bite me now......I was always 'one of the lads' up for going on the tear etc. Now when I announce I'm not drinking it's like where is the old Lucuma gone?!? You used to be great craic kind of thing

Lucuma

TomeeTipee wrote: »

My understanding is that the test done in Hari is actually a different test - a more in depth analysis or something like that.

My OH was due to go to the Rotunda & pay €30 but we are also being referred to Hari & they won't accept the normal Rotunda test, so now we have to do the full, expensive Hari test instead!

I rem you talking about how your OH was going in for his test so that never happened then? Annoying that ye have to shell out for the Hari one now -which I wrongly quoted as 200, it's actually 120, still steep enough tho! -
Can semen characteristics have an influence on causing miscarriages?

Penny Dreadful

I tested with my OPK again this morning and got a big fat smiley face - no flashing. So it would appear that it is indicating I am in my peak fertile phase now.
The way it has worked out it quite good I think. My husband did his bit yesterday morning and produced his sample and dropped it off at the Rotunda. This meant that the sex ban was lifted and so given the positive indications on the tests we did the deed last night.
Tested this morning to find the smiley face so hopefully our 20% chance will prove fruitful.

Lucuma

Penny Dreadful wrote: »

I tested with my OPK again this morning and got a big fat smiley face - no flashing. So it would appear that it is indicating I am in my peak fertile phase now.
The way it has worked out it quite good I think. My husband did his bit yesterday morning and produced his sample and dropped it off at the Rotunda. This meant that the sex ban was lifted and so given the positive indications on the tests we did the deed last night.
Tested this morning to find the smiley face so hopefully our 20% chance will prove fruitful.

Great news on the Great timing this month so for you!! Fingers crossed

I bet your app would never have predicted you ovulate that late in your cycle - what CD is it? Just goes to show even in these days of modern technology our phones can't predict everything....The human body is still a law unto itself! :rolleyes:

Penny Dreadful

Lucuma wrote: »

Great news on the Great timing this month so for you!! Fingers crossed

I bet your app would never have predicted you ovulate that late in your cycle - what CD is it? Just goes to show even in these days of modern technology our phones can't predict everything....The human body is still a law unto itself! :rolleyes:

I was thinking just that this morning.
According to the Pink Pad app (one I was most using) it had my ovulation dates from Nov 8th - 14th with November 13th being the peak day. This was CD 15-21.
In real life my fertile period began on Nov 14th - 19th (maybe 20th) with Nov 19th being the peak day. This was CD 21-26/27.
So the Pink Pad app was a full week off.
The Lady Timer app had my fertile window from Nov 3-6 which would be very early I think. CD 10-13.
The What to Expect App had the fertile window from Nov 2nd - 6th (with 5th being peak fertility). CD 9-13. Again too early.

So the Pink Pad was closest but still off by a week which is a considerable amount of time.
If I don't get pregnant this time around I won't feel as dejected about it as I have other months. I really feel happy now that I've seen and tracked a fertile period myself and it will be great to see when my period arrives and be able to pin point a CD for that. It might put an end to thinking I'm late when I'm not yet due because my period is actually 36/39 days long not 33 as I thought.
Naturally if I don't get my period because I'm pregnant well then that would be pretty ok too.:)

Penny Dreadful

Totally off topic I know but have any of you found that you're spending WAY TOO MUCH TIME on this particular forum when you're supposed to be working.

:eek::o
I'm quite addicted to it these days, its been so reassuring to know that there are (unfortunately) many people in the same boat, so helpful for additional information, experiences, funny stories and just a great place to learn about your body overall.
However I need to stop/////well cut back and do some work.
Lunchtime ladies!

Lucuma

Penny Dreadful wrote: »

In real life my fertile period was CD 21-26/27.
So the Pink Pad app was a full week off.
The Lady Timer app had my fertile window from Nov 3-6 which would be very early I think. CD 10-13.
The What to Expect App had the fertile window from Nov 2nd - 6th (with 5th being peak fertility). CD 9-13. Again too early.

It might put an end to thinking I'm late when I'm not yet due because my period is actually 36/39 days long not 33 as I thought.

You're gas with your 3 apps!! :P

I don't even know the name of the android one that I have on my phone, but I found in settings that ovulation was set to occur by default 14 days before the day my period was due. I changed date of ovulation to reflect my own cycles based on what I was seeing with opks (more like 9 or 10 days before my period is due for me)

Ovulating on day 25/26 makes sense if your cycles are long e.g. if your cycle was 40 days long, count back 15 days from 40 and you get CD25.

Lucuma

Penny Dreadful wrote: »

Totally off topic I know but have any of you found that you're spending WAY TOO MUCH TIME on this particular forum when you're supposed to be working.

!

At least it's for a good cause:D

Penny Dreadful

Lucuma wrote: »

You're gas with your 3 apps!! :P

I don't even know the name of the android one that I have on my phone, but I found in settings that ovulation was set to occur by default 14 days before the day my period was due. I changed date of ovulation to reflect my own cycles based on what I was seeing with opks (more like 9 or 10 days before my period is due for me)

Ovulating on day 25/26 makes sense if your cycles are long e.g. if your cycle was 40 days long, count back 15 days from 40 and you get CD25.

I know:o I'm very much of the school "if a little is good then a lot will be great".
Turns out thats not always true. Especially when making chilli for friends. It would seem that when the recipie tells you to use teaspoons it really does mean teaspoons not tablespoons.
Anyway, the pizza we ended up having that night was delicious. I ordered it myself if I do say so.

TomeeTipee

Lucuma wrote: »

I rem you talking about how your OH was going in for his test so that never happened then? Annoying that ye have to shell out for the Hari one now -which I wrongly quoted as 200, it's actually 120, still steep enough tho! -
Can semen characteristics have an influence on causing miscarriages?

You're right, that test in the Rotunda didn't happen! It was all booked but then we found out that once we get our appointment in Hari, they won't accept the Rotunda semen analysis so will want to re-do their own. There is no point in paying €30 for the Rotunda test and then having the hassle of re-doing it and then paying another €120 for the test in Hari.

I don't know if semen characteristics can influence miscarriages, but I'd be interested in finding out as I've had a few miscarriages, one being quite late.