Trying to conceive/Planned parenthood/Assisted Reproduction Chat thread.

DetectivFoxtrot

Tigeress wrote: »

I'm on day 18 of my 30/32 day cycle & using ovulation sticks but still no sign of Ovulating I'm still hopeful & trying to stay positive for this month.. Although in saying that we're having lots of fun Has anyone any suggestions on clinics to go too? Is it expensive to see a specialist or do you go through the public system? Sorry in advance for all the questions..

hey tigeress, I know how frustrating this is ((hugs)). I remember when I had wacky cycles (like 50 days long etc) just waiting for the sticks to go positive, and week after week they just wouldn't. You are doing something I forgot, continuing to have fun which really is THE most important thing, so well done to you. Remember it is possible to miss a short LH surge so keep up the fun times, you never know you might just hit the target this month. Fingers crossed for you
Clinics are expensive. My consultant costs €200 a pop each time, and sometimes I'm only in with him for 5 mins. He's great at what he does but it's still a total a rip off in my eyes. Then there's all the testing on top of that. Ultrasounds, bloods, meds etc. I've heard SIMS clinic is slightly cheaper.. do you have health insurance?

AFM, called HARI today. They advised me that I can start ttc immediately but not to re-start Clomid til after my next proper period. I guess they view the miscarriage as not being a period? so has a new cycle not begun for me and won't until after my next period? confused...
They also only gave me a script form Clomid for 6 months as it shouldn't be taken for longer than 12 months. If I'm not pg within the 6 months they said they then explore other options. Again, like so many others and on the net seem to confirm, the doc said I am most fertile in the 3 months after miscarriage as the cervix is still slightly open and spermies can get through easier, so that's good to know, and good to hear it from a professional.

Today, and last night, I have been in immense pain, although the flow has lessened significantly. I am on Neurofen + but have requested my GP to fax a script for something stronger to my local chemist round the corner, think she's prescribing anti-inflammatories (sp) or something.

I had an awful thought today. I was thinking that my gummy bear must have been in a lot of pain before s/he finally gave up. With all the spotting (which I'm thinking was leakage from the sac) and lack of growth etc. Don't know why that popped into my head but it did and I was very upset. I suppose it's all part of the grieving process....

Anyway, what a lovely day today. hope you all are well and in happy Friday mode. You really are all great bunch of ladies X

Lucyfur

Thank you ladies, you're very kind xxx



DFT, emotionally, I feel like I've been hit by a train but physically I'm not too bad so far. Bleeding is heavy but the cramping isn't too bad. Can't praise the hospital enough, they were/are being so nice. My partner is amazing, can't think of any other way to describe him, just amazing. I'm so lucky to have him.

I'm taking a week off work. My boss knew I was pregnant, she's being very supportive. Gonna run myself a bath now.

xxx


EDIT; The doctor said there was nothing to stop us trying again once my period returns.

Tigeress

caprilicious wrote: »

I think it depends on where you are, most of the clinics near me charge €150 - 200 for an initial consultation & about €50 less each time for subsequent appointments.
Yet I found another local clinic where I attended a gynaeocologist for €75 per consultation.
Definitely seems to be worth your while shopping around so.

Thanks Caprilicious gonna have a look into it this weekend!

Tigeress

DFT, thanks for the advise I'm so sorry for your loss & hope your cramps ease off very soon... Massive hugs to you & your hubby!

Lucyfur, so very very sorry for your loss its so awful for you & DFT I am so devastated for both of you.. Such a hard time massive hugs x

galah

oh my god, ladies, what's happening? I am scared to check in here because of all the tragic stories .:(

I hope you will feel better soon, and go on to have healthy babies. There's not much I can say to console you guys or make it better, but you are in my thoughts!

take care and I hope you can enjoy the weekend and the lovely sunshine just a little.

Whatever will be, will be, I guess....(for me, I am taking this as a warning not to take anything for granted...)

barbiegirl

Well I've decided to get back into things again and have left a message with the Merrion Clinic to start treatments again, but also applied for a meeting with the consultant in SIMS just to get a second opinion.
Fingers crossed after our losses this will be our year. A Phychic told my mum on Wednesday that there would be two pregnancies in the family this year, as there are 6 of us I really hope one of them is me :-) He also told her that he 36 year old daughter (me) is very strong :-)
I feel the pain of DFT and Lucyfur, lots of spoiling yourself and don't torture yourself as to if the baby was in pain, it is generally held that they don't fell pain until 20 weeks, myself I would maybe put it sooner, when the brain has developed. Either way your gummy bear was too small. Big hugs, she's up there playing with our Cailín and Bo.

Tigeress

barbiegirl wrote: »

Well I've decided to get back into things again and have left a message with the Merrion Clinic to start treatments again, but also applied for a meeting with the consultant in SIMS just to get a second opinion.
Fingers crossed after our losses this will be our year. A Phychic told my mum on Wednesday that there would be two pregnancies in the family this year, as there are 6 of us I really hope one of them is me :-) He also told her that he 36 year old daughter (me) is very strong :-)
I feel the pain of DFT and Lucyfur, lots of spoiling yourself and don't torture yourself as to if the baby was in pain, it is generally held that they don't fell pain until 20 weeks, myself I would maybe put it sooner, when the brain has developed. Either way your gummy bear was too small. Big hugs, she's up there playing with our Cailín and Bo.

I have all my fingers crossed for you Barbiegirl

spingler

omg Lucyfur im so so sorry, im so sad for you and dft, this must be so hard on yere partners to. its unreal that this can happen, look after yourself and take your time, there are no words ((hugs)),

dublinlady

No cOmputer where I am, so on phone so will keep it short, just wanted to say how sorry I am lucyfur, I really hope ur doin ok during this horrible and sad time. Take your time to get through it, mind yourself and talk on here whenever you need it, your not on your own, x

Barbie girl - good luck with the next stage of your journey , I hope it makes your wished come true

Lucyfur

I can't get over the kindness of you lot. Thank you so so much for all your kind wishes from me and my OH.

Had a shower this morning. Wasn't looking forward to it but I feel a bit better now I'm clean:)

Starting to cramp a bit now, which I suppose is normal.

caprilicious

Lucyfur, I am so terribly sorry for you and your partner. It is a heartbreaking experience & I am so sorry you had to go through it.
I hope you are ok x

DFT I feel so bad for you going through so much pain. I think you're right, having thoughts like that are part of the grieving process.
I had a scan hours before I lost baby, baby measured perfectly & had a good strong heart beat.
I felt so guilt for months after, that baby had been perfect, it was my body that had rejected the baby.
I was being treated for post natal depression at the time & beat myself up for a long time telling myself it was my fault that I lost baby, but it achieves nothing more than to upset you.
I hope you get some peace soon x
I asked my GP for a prescription of Ponstan after I left the hospital & found that helped with the pain.

Tigeress, I'll PM you the contact details for the clinic I attended. Its in Kilkenny, so not sure if thats out of your way, but could be worth the journey considering the cost of most Dublin clinics :eek:

Barbiegirl, I have everything crossed for you, I really hope the psychic was right & that it'll be your turn next x

I had myself convinced this month I was going to get my positive result, I think because its the first positive ovulation test I've had in ages, I thought we would be successful, but it wasn't so.
Its strange, normally I'd be either disappointed or upset, I was just really angry this month!
I don't know if it might be a sign of a good thing, but its the first 28 day cycle I've had in months. I'm hoping it signifies that my cycle & all that goes with it is going back to normal!
I'm back to working a 3 day week & stress levels are way down, so fingers crossed

spingler

hi all, cant stop thinking about ye girls and what ye are going through x like cap said i hope some peace comes to ye soon xx

i have my meeting from work on monday so spinglers finglers crossed that it will not be to bad. I have unreal stress headaches this weekend over it but i will get through it. Today was my 37th birthday, this is the first year i didnt look forward to it coming as it just reminds me now that my eggs are getting older and makes me wonder will one ever get seduced by a sperm...?:rolleyes:

can any one through any light as to why i have brown, black, red spotting all month, today is day 19? mostly brown on the tissue when i wipe, please exuse the graphics but im sure at this stage none of us mind. its pissing me off beacuse i never ever had spotting only at the beginining and end of a cycle, and this would always be brown.

my mood is not good so its prob hormonal, but i have had no treatment this month so i am confused. I wonder if the jan and bit of treatment in feb has caused my cycle to go crazy. i will make an appointment in april with the consultant, i think its time she had a proper look at my brazillian!!

caprilicious

Sorry Tigeress, couldn't see how to PM you, here's the website for the clinic I attended in case you or anyone would like to contact them....

http://www.newparkclinic.ie/

DetectivFoxtrot

thanks girls, don't know what I'd do without ya.

Barbiegirl, I got precsribed Keral, they seem to be doing the trick. I had THE most awful night on Friday night, I will never ever forget it. I won't go into it as I've probably been going overboard on the tmi stuff lately, but all I'll say is OH was crying and begging me could he ring an ambulance. I definitely believe my pain was similar to early labour. Last night was grand, I dosed up with meds and slept right through. I think I'm over the worst.
My mam is pressuring me to not go back to work til next fri, what do you think? She says it will be much easier going back for a very short week rather than on a monday. She also thinks going back next Tues/Wed/Thur is far to early as I am grieving. I dunno. Didn't plan taking that long off

Spingler, good luck with the meeting. Keep us posted.
It'd probably not likely, but your mid cycle spotting could be a injury from sex, like the penis scratched your cervix or something, just a thought. did you google mid cycle spotting, I'm sure you'll get some info. It's one thing I never go (always at the end toward my period is when I got it) and that was because of low progesterone (poor ovulation).

Neyite

Detective,
I would tend to agree with your mother, and take whatever time you need. Only a few hours ago relatively speaking, your OH wanted to bring you to A&E. you need time to heal not only physically, but emotionally I think you need it,

I used to get irrationally annoyed with the work dramas especially when I had spent the weekend caring for my dying dad - and some stupid git would be moaning about the lack of stationary supplies or a minor mistake someone else made.

It also depends on if anyone at work knows about your pregnancy and MC. Sometimes you dont want to face a sad topic in a work environment.

You have been through physical and emotional trauma, so be kind to yourself for a little while longer.
((Hugs))

I am due to test/get my period on Tuesday. I had really sore boobs last week, they are grand now but seem to be a bit fuller still. That could just be pre-period though usually they are sore right up to my period.

I decided to do a bit of Hypnosis to relax and calm me - It worked wonders years ago getting me off the fags so I have "positive thinking" and "radiant health" on the ipod, and seriously contemplating getting a fertility/conception one - think I will search a few fertility forums to see if any recommendations jump out at me.

barbiegirl

DFT I remember those pains doctor presecribed tylex and difene. I had been taking difene i had at hme but it did nothing. So she prescribed stronget ones.
Don't go to work take a few extra days this was and is a big deal and you need to let your body, mind and emotions recover. Big, big hugs

Lucyfur

DFT, try to take a few days (at least) off. I'm taking a week and my boss has text with the offer of a second week off. I'll go back after a week, I think I'll be ready then. I could probably go back mid week but I'm gonna give myself the full week.

Take it easy and mind yourself x

applesock

*hugs* to Lucyfur & DTF ive been reading & not posting of late. Read this lastnight so upsetting. i can only imagine what your going through

ive given up on trying for now , i just cant take the disappointment every month, doing a test praying for positive but knowing deep down it will always been negative. and actually as bad as this sounds im started to get jealous of people around me who are pregnant, not that im not delighted for them i think the feeling of why isnt it me is to much at the moment.
think i need to take a step back and relax. although ovulating this weekend

spingler

dft and lucyfur, my thoughts are with ye so much this week x

thank you dft for replying to my question.. i googled mid cycle bleed and didn't really get much satisfaction, they done bloods on me last week in the clinic and my progestrone levels showed i had ovulated, so im totally at a loss?? its really annoying because its like having a bit of a period every day. sorry for going on... dft take your time going back to work, you body and mind needs time to get strong again, my friend took a number of weeks. She said she def glad cause she needed time to grieve xx

(((Hugs)))

Lucyfur

I have made a big pot of soup, a huge pan of chilli con carne and 2 batches of cookies......I'm really not used to having time off:p

Hope everyone is doing well today x

Tigeress

Hi ladies, I'm having a crap time of it at the moment I haven't Ovulated this month & although I'm trying to stay positive I'm a bit down.. I'm sure I haven't ovulated before (as in not every month) but I was so excited to get the ovulation sticks & I almost convinced myself that I would ovulate, maybe not get pregnant but at least I know I'm Ovulating ok by nothing is showing up.. I know I sound a little silly but I cant help but feel down I know I do ovulate because I have gotten pregnant twice (both ending in mc) I think there might be something wrong.. My partner keeps telling me I'm putting too much pressure on myself & I know he's right! I just don't know what to do..

Cap thanks for the link!! Gonna make an appoint! Kilkenny isn't far from me at all..

DetectivFoxtrot

thanks ladies *hugsies back at all of ya*


Tigress - I know this is NO help at all, but juts wanted to reassure you that every now and then every woman gets an annovualtory cycle, it's totally normal. I've seen it twice since I started charting. If I hadn't been charting I'd never have known. I did a lot of research and found that it happens all the time.
don't get me wrong though it's still a pain in the arse and I'm not surprised you're fed up x


AFM, I am on Cycle Day 7 today. Got a +ovulation test today (test line was darker than control line) and a faded +preg test. I obviously still have HCG (preg hormone) in my system but am amazed at how quickly it is dropping.
I don't feel like I'm ovulating and have no signs (flow has reduced to light/spotting so no cervical mucous and no ovulation pain) so am assuming it's a false read on the ovulation test? anyone any experience to share?

Last night I passed a large lump of solid mass tissue. Not sure what it was, placenta perhaps, but I knew once I passed it that my body was done, somehow I felt 'physically' empty, if that's possible...
Today it's been confirmed by scan that I had a complete natural miscarriage. Bloods were taken and I'll know what my hcg level is tomorrow. I feel that I need to start ttc again asap, I think it will help me cope. Personally if I ruminate in the grief I think I'll go mad, keeping busy and getting things back under my control will be beneficial to my psyche I think (typical 'Type A' personality )
I am taking the advice and going back to work on Thursday (have been out since last weds so 6 working days altogether). That gives me two (hopefully) nice days in the sun; I'm going to do some gardening as I find it very therapeutic.
Today I bought a beautiful orchid plant in honour of my baby. It was so peaceful walking around the garden centre. No one was there so I could only hear the birds sing, and the sun was so warm on my face... My baba was saying goodbye...

Lucyfur

((hugs)) Tigeress. I know it's incredibly frustrating when you feel you should be able to see a positive. I don't use ovulation sticks as I get strong ovulation signs myself. I was CONVINCED I didn't ovulate in Feb, but obviously I did.


DFT, I cried reading your post:( I was chatting to a friend last night, she's had 5 miscarriages and has 5 rose bushes lined up in her garden. It's a lovely, lovely idea. I'm not green fingered at all but I'm going to do something to mark this:) I had my hCG done again today, it's down to 12. It was 100-and-something on Friday. My bleeding has almost stopped.

CathyMoran

What we did with the one that we lost in Jan 2009 was let a baloon free.

Quins5

Lucyfur Im soo sorry for your loss Iv only just checked in and seen all the posts (big hugs)

Detective so sorry to hear you had such a bad and painful weekend (big hugs)

Big hugs to you all, It brought tears to my eyes reading your post of walking round the garden centre, I know exactly how you are feeling

Thinking of you both and your other halves x

Neyite

applesock wrote: »

ive given up on trying for now , i just cant take the disappointment every month, doing a test praying for positive but knowing deep down it will always been negative. and actually as bad as this sounds im started to get jealous of people around me who are pregnant, not that im not delighted for them i think the feeling of why isnt it me is to much at the moment.
think i need to take a step back and relax. although ovulating this weekend

Its really tough getting constant unwanted periods. I recognise that its not easy to make the decision to give up for a little while, but maybe we need to step back if it is getting too much. Would a de-stressing cd help? I have a Paul McKenna Hypnosis CD knocking around somewhere called eliminate stress, which, when I find it, I'm going to put on the ipod - if you think it will help, I am happy to share it if you want to pm me.

I am due my period tomorrow. I have delibrately convinced myself that I am not pregnant this month. If the Wicked Witch doesnt wake me up with cramps during the night, Im testing in the morning.

Lucyfur

Fingers crossed for you Neyite:D

dublinlady

Hope ye all ok, def do take a few days of dt and lucyfur, I didn't and regret it now, didn't deal with it emotionally at all until started acupuncture couple months ago, I think thats the reason I couldn't conceive since... Stressed and uptight etc.

Two weeks into my compulsory month off, enjoying it actually! Weirdly! My mind is very appreciative of the rest!!! .
Had pelvic ultrasound today to make sure all is well for when we do start again and he seemed to think it was but will write to my doc! That is a relief, I kinda know now no physical reason for not being able to and have myself put it down to stress and trying too hard, this break is doing me wonders.., have decided to stop actively trying til aug or sept, if something happens in the middle great, but if not that's ok. Break from the stress! 15th April was my due date... I'll be glad when that's over.... It's weighing heavy on my shoulders... I think I'll do cathymorans idea of releasing a balloon... To Mark the end of my dark time and grief, it's time for me to move on and get back to living life..... I just hope it's as easy as that.

May79

thanks again for all your kind thoughts.I just have to keep reminding myself that I am one in four and that it's not my fault


It is never your fault detective - Life throws some dreadful things at us - NEVER your fault

DetectivFoxtrot wrote: »

My mam is pressuring me to not go back to work til next fri, what do you think? She says it will be much easier going back for a very short week rather than on a monday. She also thinks going back next Tues/Wed/Thur is far to early as I am grieving. I dunno. Didn't plan taking that long off

I hope you took your mams advice - It's a hard thing to go through - Take your time - don't rush - you could end up regretting it in a weeks time - You need time to allow the hormones leave your body let alone the grieving process. Such a whacky time for a woman and that needs to be taken into account - there are some things you just cannot help....


You will get through this ok It's rotten and hard but you can turn it around - You seem to be a strong character - I can't get over how In the middle of all you are giving adivce to others TTC on this thread!! We are all very grateful for the knowledge you have detective - You do need to think of yourself and only yourself for a while. (and DP too as he is going through it with you) If you can take a positive from it at all, you did get pregnant after all - You were afraid it might never happen and hopefully it won't take so long again.

Neyite

No period this morning, negative test. Got my period later at work, got home, had a little cry with frustration and hugs from himself, so I'm better now.

Meeting with the Endocrinologist doctor on thursday, so have taken the full day off and will fit in a bit of self pampering I think. She better know her stuff, because I am going to be asking loads of questions D'ya reckon doctors hate to see us TTC'ers coming?