What do you look for in a partner?

John Mason

House, car, money, no children or previous marriages

Pyjamarama

the dee wrote: »

And in most people's experience, including mine, someone great comes into your life right when you stop searching for them. I don't know why this is, maybe body-language saying 'I'm looking for someone' puts people off.

Ditto. I had completely given up and was so much more relaxed and stopped caring so much and bingo I found someone who was completely not my 'type' but things work really well between us. I think because we are 100% comfortable with each other, we're best friends, can make each other laugh, are completely honest and can talk about anything to each other. Also he loves me or me and vice versa.

You shouldn't change who you are for anyone so OP you'll find someone who loves you for who you are not someone who's going to tick off a checklist and categorise you in a box labelled husband-material or otherwise. Hang in there and don't settle for less!

Silverfish

Honest, good-looking ( to me), nerdy, fun, sense of humour, gamer, intelligent.

There's a lot more, obviously, but they are the initial checkboxes.

neuro-praxis

Highly intelligent with a wicked sense of humour, mixed with a lot of integrity and kindness. Taller than me is merely a bonus.

nikki 122

Moonbaby wrote: »

In the past I have generally worked off of chemistry, and a lack of arrogance.
Next time I'm going look with a shopping list.


Laidback.
Kind.
From a farming background.
Thoughtful to all others not just me.
Nice family....dead mother.
Passionate but not about their job or ball sports.
Good circle of friends or at least a gregarious personality.
Veg*n
Independant.
Emotional.
Positive outlook, allergic to complaining.
Different interests to me.
Uncompetative.

jesus kinda harsh!

mollybird

id have to say intellegence, humour, respectful, someone who has nice eyes def as a physical feature. someone you can talk to.

pookie82

Has to play rugby/have a history of playing rugby, be built like a house, and his idea of an ideal date would have to be taking me to a Six Nations match.

Anything else is a bonus.

nikki 122

well there is enough girls answering lets get some bloke feedback..... whats your ideal girl fellas?

aye

nikki 122 wrote: »

well there is enough girls answering lets get some bloke feedback..... whats your ideal girl fellas?

legs from here to ya-ya!

nikki 122

ha does it not matter if she is pug ugly as long as she has long legs you're happy?

Dragan

nikki 122 wrote: »

well there is enough girls answering lets get some bloke feedback..... whats your ideal girl fellas?

Already posted below.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=55166898&postcount=28

aye

nikki 122 wrote: »

ha does it not matter if she is pug ugly as long as she has long legs you're happy?

nah was just messing. my list is above, i aint writing it again

long as she makes me smile, i'd be happy.
(and has legs from here to ya-ya )

p

Filan wrote: »

Curious.... As I currently feel as though there is no prospect of me fulfiliing the typical male role within a relationship...at certain times yes....but on a consistent basis it's just beyond me...and in truth always was.... That dosen't mean that I'm not open to relations with a female....but for it to work roles would have to be in some way convoluted......and most women I feel want a masculine man. Anyway I'm happy with who I am...wouldn't wish to be anyone else... But somewhat on the fringes in terms of the dating scene..which I accept.

Anyway interested in what would attract others to a potential husband or wife?

I'm curious what you mean by being masculine? I don't know much about being trans, or how that'd affect things, but you don't need to be a big, athletic macho guy to find girls or be masculine. Generally, what girls want is someone who is equal to them, who is confident and who will "lead" them.

Now, the term lead there is key. That doesn't mean dominate or disrespect. Leading means taking charge on a date, it means giving the girl a choice, but having a plan. It means being a man, and sorting things out. A lot of guys who aren't physically big get confused by this, especially if you haven't had a good role model. They don't want to be seen as oafish and they genuinely do have a lot of respect for women, but this has put them in a position where they don't know what it means to be a man any more.

It means being confident, and not putting the girl on a pedestal. It's saying "I have a plan for the evening" rather than "I don't know ... what do you want to do?" and putting them first. It means putting your hand on their back if you're walking through a dodgey area, or taking a girl's hand if you're bringing her through a crowd.

Being masculine is about making a woman feel feminine. And that means showing your strong side to make her feel safe, showing your attraction to make her feel sexy and showing you're impressed by her so that she feels special.

There's nothing about those things that you can't learn to do, and you don't need to change who you are to do them, you just have to be aware of them and make an extra bit of effort.


Also, learn to flirt, if you're meeting people and nothing is happening, it's because you're not having fun and joking in a way that make the conversation sexual. If you're having a calm collected conversation with someone it's a lot harder for sparks to fly that could lead to something.

MattKid

^^^^^Good Post^^^^^^^^^^

Orlee

Dragan wrote: »

These are not done in any particular order of importance....they are all just as important as each other!

1) She has to challenge me and also enjoy being challenged!
2) Similar interests across Painting, Art, Photography and Writing would be a massive attraction.
3) She needs to be her own person, just happy out to be on her own in her own company! I get on a lot better with people who are comfortable with themselves.
4) A hunger for music is a must.
5) A good dancer. I don't mean drunken dancefloor bull****...I mean a good dancer.
6) Expressive and Emotive.
7) Physically active somehow! Doesn't matter what it is once it's something!
8) Intelligent.
9) Sexual - might sound simple but the truth is not everyone is into sex or has a high sex drive. I am and i do so she will need to be the same for it to work.

I'd like to meet that woman, she sounds very interesting!

Donegal Lass

and non-existant! lol!!

Dragan

Donegal Lass wrote: »

and non-existant! lol!!

Nah, she's out there. I just need to be patient.

nikki 122

aye wrote: »

nah was just messing. my list is above, i aint writing it again

long as she makes me smile, i'd be happy.
(and has legs from here to ya-ya )

Ha ha good stuff!

Kazobel

Moonbaby wrote: »

BTW my shoppng wish is more of a wishlist....I fully expect to fall foul of a pair of sparkley blue eyes.

LOL don't we all but for me it'd be green eyes

Quality

Girls if all else fails may I offer a little advice....


Go for the bulge at the back...


Rather than the bulge at the front...

If ya know what I mean;)

Kazobel

p wrote: »

I'm curious what you mean by being masculine? I don't know much about being trans, or how that'd affect things, but you don't need to be a big, athletic macho guy to find girls or be masculine. Generally, what girls want is someone who is equal to them, who is confident and who will "lead" them.

Now, the term lead there is key. That doesn't mean dominate or disrespect. Leading means taking charge on a date, it means giving the girl a choice, but having a plan. It means being a man, and sorting things out. A lot of guys who aren't physically big get confused by this, especially if you haven't had a good role model. They don't want to be seen as oafish and they genuinely do have a lot of respect for women, but this has put them in a position where they don't know what it means to be a man any more.

It means being confident, and not putting the girl on a pedestal. It's saying "I have a plan for the evening" rather than "I don't know ... what do you want to do?" and putting them first. It means putting your hand on their back if you're walking through a dodgey area, or taking a girl's hand if you're bringing her through a crowd.

Being masculine is about making a woman feel feminine. And that means showing your strong side to make her feel safe, showing your attraction to make her feel sexy and showing you're impressed by her so that she feels special.

There's nothing about those things that you can't learn to do, and you don't need to change who you are to do them, you just have to be aware of them and make an extra bit of effort.


Also, learn to flirt, if you're meeting people and nothing is happening, it's because you're not having fun and joking in a way that make the conversation sexual. If you're having a calm collected conversation with someone it's a lot harder for sparks to fly that could lead to something.

To be honest I'd find a guy behaving like that to be a bit patronizing, most girls I know would be somewhat irritated if a guy tried to "lead" them, fair enough if he was the one that asked you out you'd expect him to have some plan but your post comes across, to me anyway, that he should ask her opinion about what to do on the date and then totally ignore it but maybe I'm wrong, it's just how it reads to me.

aye

Quality wrote: »

Girls if all else fails may I offer a little advice....


Go for the bulge at the back...


Rather than the bulge at the front...

If ya know what I mean;)

i'm a guy, i have no idea what you mean?

the bootaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?

Quality

aye wrote: »

i'm a guy, i have no idea what you mean?

the bootaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?

The WALLET!!:D:D

nikki 122

I know what you mean, and after a few more failed attempts I'll give it a go !

aye

Quality wrote: »

The WALLET!!:D:D

oohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

i have my wallet up front you see!

it's all about the wheels with the ladies!

St Bill

Dragan wrote: »

Nah, she's out there. I just need to be patient.

Well isn't this just the darndest coincidence?

p

Kazobel wrote: »

To be honest I'd find a guy behaving like that to be a bit patronizing, most girls I know would be somewhat irritated if a guy tried to "lead" them, fair enough if he was the one that asked you out you'd expect him to have some plan but your post comes across, to me anyway, that he should ask her opinion about what to do on the date and then totally ignore it but maybe I'm wrong, it's just how it reads to me.

I'd guess maybe you got that because you're a strong independent woman who really doesn't like being told what to do! I'm not in any way saying a guy should ignore a girl, I said they should completely respect her. Just don't be a sap basically. A lot of 'nice guys' think that treating someone with respect means consistently asking the girl what they want to do. Your reaction is what guys are afraid of, they respect girls, they're not chauvinistic and that's the last thing they want to be thought of.

That post was aimed at that kind of guy. And for that kind of guy, you need to say that taking charge of an evening is ok. We're not talking bullying of doing anything you'd find offence at, but taking charge, holding doors open, asking the waiter to change to a better table, sending food back if need be, that sort of thing. Most women are entirely capable of doing those things themselves, but it's just one of those legacies we have from society and nature. Girls want to feel somewhat protected by their guys, and it's ok to take charge in those times, because the girl will be happy for you to do it.

jezza

All my ex boyfriends and current boyfriends are pr!cks.
All except one, who turned in to the most annoying thing i have ever encountered in my entire life. Jesus the very thought of him makes me want to leave him flat on his back and dance on his face. He was a quiet guy, insecure, jealous, possessive irritating controlling god damn emo fu.cking freak and even thinking about him makes me angry.

jezza

Oh.. On topic.

Yeah I like bad boys. Fast cars, fast lifestyles, HTID types. Guys that are mega mega hot (check out my other half YUMEH!) but give ya enough room to breathe.
Having murderous thoughts about people can't be good ya know.

coffee_cake

Silverfish wrote: »

Honest, good-looking ( to me), nerdy, fun, sense of humour, gamer, intelligent.

There's a lot more, obviously, but they are the initial checkboxes.

Oh yeh, I forgot nerdy...