How To Tick People Off...

TequilaMockingBird

HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. dont use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
Ask people what gender they are.
27. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
28. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
29. Sing along at the opera.
30. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
31. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

Jesus Wept

32. Posting in the wrong forum.

I've done it though, once

sueme wrote:

Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

Indeed, a bit of Beethoven instead, at least how he would of wanted it if he had the technology back in the day, and the flow.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eI34PfbpFRs

super_furry

32. Send daft supposidly funny lists to everyone on your email list, then post it on a message board.

super_furry

33. Make a smart-arsed post 2 seconds before someone else makes the same point.

cance

34. Responding with "yore ma"

Pighead

35: Start a thread entitled "Slapping kids is cool, in fact it SHOULD BE COMPULSORY."

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Get ona crwded Luas at 8.30 am, stagger, sway and say... fukkk.... i'm goonna throw up (retch) not gonna... make it....

TequilaMockingBird

Pighead wrote: »

35: Start a thread entitled "Slapping kids is cool, in fact it SHOULD BE COMPULSORY."

FTW

skywalker

sueme wrote: »

HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

18. Honk and wave to strangers.

I have to admit I do this ocassionally to amuse myself.

lezizi

skywalker wrote: »

I have to admit I do this ocassionally to amuse myself.

I do it too.

JIZZLORD

purchase this
http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/8c52/
and hide it

FunkZ

36: Pick a neighbour you don't like, and then for as long as you can get away with it start hanging different pieces of fruit and veg on their trees in their front garden every night.

I remember there were bananas, apples, cucumbers and loadsa other food on one of my neighbours trees, they never noticed though! I love doing this...

Quality

Skip the queues in the ladies toilets....

Dragan

super_furry wrote: »

32. Send daft supposidly funny lists to everyone on your email list, then post it on a message board.

+ 1

FunkZ wrote: »

36: Pick a neighbour you don't like, and then for as long as you can get away with it start hanging different pieces of fruit and veg on their trees in their front garden every night.

I remember there were bananas, apples, cucumbers and loadsa other food on one of my neighbours trees, they never noticed though! I love doing this...

Hardly a good way to tick someone off then. It's more of a way to waste fruit and veg pointlessly.

If you want to tick off your neighbour try punching his wife or doing his daughter? They are slightly more obvious than apple cores in the hedge.

Pherekydes

37. Use txt spk, all d tim (especially in emails to ur bss)