Accepting drinks from guys

Piste

Is is unacceptable to let a guy buy you a drink if you're with someone and have no interest in him? Maybe I'm naive but I thought it meant he was just being nice and maybe you guys would chat or whatever, but then my boyfriend told me I shouldn't let guys buy me drinks as it's showing them I'm interested?

What do the rest of ye fine gals and guys think?

Agent Smith

if its done in politness, then whats the Problem
if its done in a way that could be seen as coming on to you, then i can see where he's coming from.

SW81

If I was with someone I would say no thank you I'm with someone but if they still wanted to after that then I would let them.

SarahSassy

Expland a bit more... If its in a 'rounds' situation I would have no problem. If he is a random guy who comes up to you I would not take it off him. Then again I would not take a drink from a stranger at all.

ztoical

i think alot has to do with the context - if I was chatting to some guy, the conversation was pretty standard [work, weather, movies, music etc etc] and he says "hey do you want a drink?" and gets one for me and himself, I wouldn't read that much into and would prob buy the next round myself.

If I was sitting by myself or with friends and a guy came over and said "Hi can I buy you a drink?" I'd see it as a come on. If I was seeing someone or not interested I'd make that clear and if they still wanted to buy the drink then I'd say sure. I would be a tiny little bit cautious and keep an eye on them getting the drink to make sure they weren't putting anything into it.

If someone arrived with the drink all ready in hand and tried to give it to me I'd say no.

Once went out with a mixed group - some friends and some new people and this guy I didn't know asked the whole table what they wanted to drink and then only came back with drinks for me and him - pretty sure that was a come on as I ended up dating him for awhile lol

Clare Bear

Depends on the situation but if I was with someone and it was obvious he was chatting me up then no I wouldn't accept it. I'd be polite about it though.

Aisling(",)

take the drink the skadadlle outta the place

nah doubt id feel comfortable doing it if i was with someone

Kazobel

I'd never take a drink off a stranger, I've heard to many horror stories at this point but what really irritates me is when you refuse and they do it anyway and then get offended and try guilt trips when you won't drink it. Anybody being that forceful just shouldn't be trusted. As regards the OP if you're all doing rounds then it's ok but if it's just to you personally then the guy is most likely making a pass so your OH is right.

watna

ztoical wrote: »

i think alot has to do with the context - if I was chatting to some guy, the conversation was pretty standard [work, weather, movies, music etc etc] and he says "hey do you want a drink?" and gets one for me and himself, I wouldn't read that much into and would prob buy the next round myself.

If I was sitting by myself or with friends and a guy came over and said "Hi can I buy you a drink?" I'd see it as a come on. If I was seeing someone or not interested I'd make that clear and if they still wanted to buy the drink then I'd say sure. I would be a tiny little bit cautious and keep an eye on them getting the drink to make sure they weren't putting anything into it.

If someone arrived with the drink all ready in hand and tried to give it to me I'd say no.

+1, was going to say exactly this!

daiixi

Absolutely nothing wrong with accepting a drink if you make it clear that you're only interested in a chat. I'd make sure that I was at the bar watching the drink being poured though.

Kazobel

watna wrote: »

+1, was going to say exactly this!

Thats what I was trying to say too, never ever accept a random drink off a stranger no matter how innocent he looks, now a days you really need to be careful.

Crumble Froo

has happened a couple of times, go up to the bar, have a bit of a banter with the lad standing next to me in the bar, or the barman/maid, he'll either order or pay for my drink, i say sorry, not interesed/taken, he'll say ah go on, it's no worries, i thank him, stay for a bit more chat, and go back to my own group.

Reku

Is this not in many ways the modern equivalent of "but I bought you dinner!", i.e. some idiots thinking they can simply buy their way into a woman's pants with a cheap drink/meal? I mean really!:mad:
Any of the intelligent ones at least know you use a decent sized diamond, preferably on a small metal hoop, to buy your way into the lady's pants.:p

Seriously though if you do accept the drink then you owe them nothing, regardless of any daft ideas they may get, do you tell Trocaire they owe you after you hand in your Trocaire box, no! A kind gesture should be its own reward.:)

As others have pretty much pointed to though, make sure to be careful and only accept a drink if it is poured by the barstaff in front of you and given straight to you by them, that way you can be sure your kind sponsor hasn't slipped anything dodgy in it.

bugle

fully agree with your BF, you probably shouldnt be taking drinks cus 9 times outta 10 its a guy thats tryin to chat u up. if u say no to a drink its simply says im not interested, add to that the dangers of taking a drink from strangers and id say keep well away. unless u really want that drink

Donegal Lass

I wouldnt accept one now, whether im out with or without my beau! Maybe in college days when you were skint and as tight as a ducks arse with money you'd do it for fun, but not anymore.

It seems a bit of a teenage thing to do. Now my conscience would kick into play and probably offer to buy him one back, which kind of totally defeats the purpose! :rolleyes:

irlrobins

Piste wrote: »

Is is unacceptable to let a guy buy you a drink

No, because you're underage.

Mrs. D'arcy

SW81 wrote: »

If I was with someone I would say no thank you I'm with someone but if they still wanted to after that then I would let them.

I've done this a few times...been offered a drink, say something along the lines of "no thanks, I think my boyfriend is getting me one" and gotten really snotty replies like ..."don't be so cocky, I was only going to buy you a drink...i'm not interested".

I don't think you should take drinks off people if you're not interested. Rounds are fine or someone buying drinks for a group of people but not one on one and if someone did buy me one I'd make sure to get them one back which kind of cancels it out!

Black Swan

Kazobel wrote: »

I'd never take a drink off a stranger, I've heard to many horror stories

Especially if you are Stateside and the guy brings it to you himself (not by a server or bar tender). Every now and then you hear of a girl getting drugged.

aye

its most likely he is trying to chat you up.
make it clear you have a boyfriend.
just say " ah i dont think the boyfriend would be too impressed."
he may still insist, in which case i think it would be ok to accept it as the guy is now aware of the situation.

make sure to go to the bar with him, i've heard these horror stories just like everyone else, and he wont take offence from it.