Gender specific toys.

the dee

As a non-parent I just wanted to ask you guys a question about toys.

Would you have a problem giving your children gender specific toys eg: Dolls, prams, toy household items for girls, balls, computer games etc for boys.

Do you think your children naturally prefer toys aimed at their gender?

And how do you feel about violent toys eg: toy guns, knives, soldiers etc?

Do you have policies on what you let your children play with? I think I would have some rules about these thing if/when I have children. Do you think it would be fair to do so? Would they feel different from their friends and other children? Or do you think that whatever makes them happy is fine?

flynnc8

the dee wrote: »

Or do you think that whatever makes them happy is fine?

You said it in one.. I do generally think that my daughter would go for a pram/doll faster than a car or action man... But she tends to just play with whatever catches her eyes..

My younger brother has lots of toy cars which she loves playing with, so I bought her a couple. What harm is there in that?
Vice versa my brother who's just over 2 years old, plays with my daughters dolls etc.

There is nothing wrong with that at all...

simu

I find it annoying that some toystores divide everything into pink and blue. Let the kids themselves decide what they want to play with whether it goes against the stereotypes or not.

Shelli

I for one will never allow certain toys in the house, such as toy guns that replicate real ones, I wouldnt go to the extreme of banning water guns and the like. Apart from that he can have whatever makes him happy.
I hated dolls when I was a kid, use to destroy them, little tom-boy that I was I loved he-man and she-ra and my favourite toy was a little blue ride on digger that I used to destroy my parents front garden!
Don't think it had any lonf term effects on me though, while I wouldn't be the most prissy girl on the planet, I so still love my make up and dressing up, I still goo and gaa over "cute" things and I still love a good old girly b*tching session! As far as friends go I was always "one of the lads" to a certain extent, but I didn't end up butch or anything.

Anyway....after all that drawl....my point it I don't think the toys a child chooses will affect their personalities, rather that the personality is already there and this makes them choose the toy in the first place!

Nevyn

But there is a difference between what they choose and what they get given by 'well meaning' family, I never understood why a two year old NEEDs a pram to push.

myjugsarehuge

Thaedydal wrote: »

I never understood why a two year old NEEDs a pram to push.

So that she can learn to be a good Mommy for the future when she has children of her own of course

What claptrap, my daughter never had toy pram nor did my son for that matter ! She was never into dolls much, hasn't so much as changed a pretend nappy.

They both loved lego, crayoning, brio train sets, ride on toys like tricyles and making a farm in the sandpit with plastic farm animals and fences. We did have a proper "play kitchen" and they both loved that, banging plastic pots and pans about and pretending to burn toast. That was good value, lasted them ages.

embee

the dee wrote: »

Would you have a problem giving your children gender specific toys eg: Dolls, prams, toy household items for girls, balls, computer games etc for boys?

No, I don't have a problem giving little girls dollies and wee boys toy cars etc., as long as they aren't ONLY exposed to one set of gender specific toys. My 2 year old girl is a very odd mix... sometimes she's as girly as hell, loves playing dollies and dress up and taking her babys for walks in her dollypram. This evening she was changing nappies on her dollies, then bringing the dollies outside and sitting them on the bench so they could watch her bounce on the trampoline. Othertimes, she is out kicking a ball about, playing with toy cars and she loves getting dirty. I would only ever stop her from playing with something if I thought she was going to hurt herself or someone else with it.

the dee wrote:

Do you think your children naturally prefer toys aimed at their gender?

I think that is down to the individual child, to be honest. I know when I was a kid, I wasn't interested in toys at all. I had an insatiable need to read - newspapers, books, cereal boxes, medicine leaflets. Eventually, I took up learning to play the flute because I wanted to learn how to read music. To this day, seeing print of japanese script, for example, drives me mad, as I can't read it Unfortunately, I haven't the time to learn Japanese at the moment.

the dee wrote:

And how do you feel about violent toys eg: toy guns, knives, soldiers etc?

Not in favour of toy guns, knives, swords etc. I wouldn't let her have them and I would tell anyone who bought her any such thing that she wasn't allowed them.

the dee wrote:

Do you have policies on what you let your children play with? I think I would have some rules about these thing if/when I have children. Do you think it would be fair to do so? Would they feel different from their friends and other children? Or do you think that whatever makes them happy is fine?

I don't know if I'd say I have "policies", she is only barely 2. I do however try to get her to play with creative stuff like paints, play doh, crayons, etc. at least twice a week... I feel like she's learning more by doing things than by just sitting holding her Dora doll and apeing the songs and sayings from the cartoon.

Within reason, I think children should just be left to play and to make up their own games, as long as their parents are observing what is happening. Playing is a fundamental part of childhood, it is important that children do things like invent their own games, instead of having very set, structured play where they're told what they should or shouldn't enjoy. Obviously, if a child is engaging in play where he/she is hurting themselves or others, or using bad language or inappropriate behaviour, then I would try to stop them and explain why they maybe should play in a different way.

Thaedydal wrote: »

But there is a difference between what they choose and what they get given by 'well meaning' family, I never understood why a two year old NEEDs a pram to push.

They don't "need" it, they don't "need" any toys really (or at least, they don't need shop-bought toys, toys can be made at home for very little expense). People will just do things like that because they think its cute. My wee one has two dolly prams - one from each set of grandparents. She was given the first one before she could walk :rolleyes: She does love them though, but she doesn't always "play Mammy" with them... she sometimes fills them up with all her toys and uses them to bring her favourite ball, books, jigsaw puzzles etc from one place to another.

tulipandthistle

My son loves playing with the buggy at Parent and Toddler Group. That said, he runs as fast as he can whilst pushing the buggy as hard as he can into a wall and he will not entertain a doll in it at all. He is 2 by the way.
I'm also a childminder so I have toys that are for across the board as it were, not really gender specific. We have play food, tea set, and a cooker made out of an old nappy box, we play jigsaws, we make playdough together, we make lunch together, boys and girls. We have cars, which they all play with and lots of books and we have a car and a motorbike ride on (not electronic - oh I dislike them - but that's another thread).
My jury is still out on the weapons..... They will play that they have guns etc even though they don't have replica's. I've seen so many sticks been used as guns, knife's etc.

NextSteps

As a kid, I was given a toy ironing board and toy hoover by well-meaning aunts. My mother's attitude though was that if I really wanted to hoover, I might as well be using the real one and actually hoovering!

What really shocked me though was the toy McDonald's counter in the Argos catalogue - so your toddler can pretend to work a lousy job??

tulipandthistle

UB wrote: »

As a kid, I was given a toy ironing board and toy hoover by well-meaning aunts. My mother's attitude though was that if I really wanted to hoover, I might as well be using the real one and actually hoovering!

What really shocked me though was the toy McDonald's counter in the Argos catalogue - so your toddler can pretend to work a lousy job??

I know! And let's encourage bad eating too while we're at it.:rolleyes:

Khannie

UB wrote: »

What really shocked me though was the toy McDonald's counter in the Argos catalogue - so your toddler can pretend to work a lousy job??

Let's not forget the "visa card" monopoly now....so your child can learn what it's like to have a credit card debt before they reach 10.

MLE

With regard to gender specific toys, My little girl plays with all sort but despite what she plays with she will play with it in a 'girly' way. If she has two cars for instance, rather than driving them around and crashing them like a boy might, one would be the mammy and one would be the baby one, so the gender specific nature of the toys is not encouraging or discouraging her from playing with them in the expected way!

Weidii

As a child I hated dolls, I was more into teddies and diggers and art.

My mam used to run a playschool and one of the boys took a liking to a barbie that was in it. When the childs father came to pick him up and saw him playing with the doll he took it from him and basically told the son that boys don't play with dolls. He also gave out to my mam for letting boys play with "girls" toys.

Personally I think all of this is a load of rubbish that should be done away with to take the pressure off the kids who like playing with toys that mightn't be "suitable" for them.

The Hill Billy

My eldest lad is 5. He has been car-mad since Day 1. He also loves dressing up his teddies too – which I encourage as he has a fantastic artistic streak & wonderful imagination. However, I wouldn’t get him dolls to dress up or toy pram for pushing them around. That would be going a step too far. If he asked for a doll or a pram I would sit him down & explain to him that they were specifically girls’ toys. It may not be PC, but I do feel that in certain areas of development boys should be boys & girls should be girls.

I am OK with him playing with toy guns too if he wants. I played with them myself as a kid & I didn’t turn in to a gun-crazed lunatic (yet). I also grew up with real guns around & from an early age was taught to respect them for the very dangerous things they are.

I feel that if a child is ‘banned’ from having certain toys, without the child fully understanding why he/she cannot or should not have them, there is always the possibility that they may develop an unhealthy fascination with them later.