Ever conquered a phobia?

Dudess

I used to have quite the fear of heights. I could not lean over a balcony (even at a piddlingly low height). I'd have to be a couple of feet away from it, and even then, I'd feel all dizzy and shaky. As for the Eiffel Tower and l'Arc de Triomphe - there wasn't a hope I'd crane my neck over the edge to catch sight of the renowned "vue". This despite acres of barriers rendering it impossible to fall over unless you actually climbed on top of said barriers.
Then, the fear just gradually... went. I can't figure out how. I just became less freaked by heights as time went by. I certainly didn't conquer my fear consciously - maybe something was going on subconsciously? Or maybe it was just a phase that I was destined to grow out of? Anyway, rodents are my only real phobia now.
Did any of you experience anything similar? Or better yet, did you actually take steps to quash your fear and did you succeed? Do tell...

LadyJ

Well I read Alan Carr's "The Easy Way to Enjoy Flying" and it did help me a good bit. I have booked flights for a number of destinations since reading it. Hopefully when I fly I won't be so terrified but I'm still waiting to find out if I'm cured or not.

Also, the same book completely cured my fear of lifts. I have no qualms about them at all anymore but beforehand I was very apprehensive about them.

Spiders on the other hand I don't know if I'll ever be ok with. The thought of trying to cure the phobia is insane to me because I know if I cured myself then I'd probably end up having to hold a giant spider in the end and there's no way I'm setting out on the path to that!

Crumble Froo

i've tried to overcome my spider phobia several times. i can remember being 4/5 years old,and determining to overcome it, and finding a spider in the toy press, and holding it in my hand to trhow it out, squirming, but so proud that i'd done it. ... and somehow, i ended up not being able to touch them again... remember in 5th class a girl sitting beside me freaked out cos i'd a spidre in mly hair (shudder), and i stayed calm and went to teh bin and tossed it out... any other time, i'd've freaked... though i got bullied a lot back then and didnt wana give em extra reasons to pick on me... im not sure it counts, but i *did* deal with the spider issue then.

now though, i can't stay in the same room. it's terrible. i want to try and figure that one out again. i have no problem holding crabs (of the sea variety :P) in my hand, and watch them move in a very similar manner to spiders, minus hte issues, but im working on it. sorta... )

Gauge

Up until I was 8 years old I was petrified of needles. I'd have to be dragged kicking and screaming to get my boosters and all that, and I never wanted to get my ears pierced. I wouldn't say I 'conquered' it because getting over the fear really had nothing to do with me- I had to get teeth removed to prepare for orthodontic treatment, which meant two sessions where the dentist had to completely numb my mouth with injections before removing the teeth. After getting so many needles stuck into my gums, getting needles in my skin didn't bother me in the slightest. Now I'm addicted to body piercings

LadyJ

Gauge wrote: »

After getting so many needles stuck into my gums, getting needles in my skin didn't bother me in the slightest. Now I'm addicted to body piercings

At least you're not addicted to heroin!

Dudess

Heh, excellent. Now that's what I call conquering a phobia!

Crumble Froo

Gauge wrote: »

Up until I was 8 years old I was petrified of needles.

half knew what was coming then... i lol'd

I'd have to be dragged kicking and screaming to get my boosters and all that, and I never wanted to get my ears pierced.

particular lollage then :P

I wouldn't say I 'conquered' it because getting over the fear really had nothing to do with me- I had to get teeth removed to prepare for orthodontic treatment, which meant two sessions where the dentist had to completely numb my mouth with injections before removing the teeth.

i cringed and shuddered like mad there. i hate dentists. i have a bit of a phobia round teeth now that i think about it. my b/f has had a dodge tooth (probably an abscess) that just freaks me out.

After getting so many needles stuck into my gums, getting needles in my skin didn't bother me in the slightest. Now I'm addicted to body piercings

that's the stuff. i personally just like the way it goes from pain to a healing process, to something pretty that's just a part of you but that's for another thread another day

WindSock

I had a spiderophobia before, I think a lot of people do. I caught one in a jar one time and studied it for ages then realised how beautiful and graceful they are. They still give me a fright from time to time as they move so fast, but I can tolerate them better now.

Bottle_of_Smoke

LadyJ wrote: »

Spiders on the other hand I don't know if I'll ever be ok with. The thought of trying to cure the phobia is insane to me because I know if I cured myself then I'd probably end up having to hold a giant spider in the end and there's no way I'm setting out on the path to that!

You could just not hold a giant spider. Unless there's an arachnid version of jury duty I'm unaware of.

Jack Sheehan

I used to be at the 'hiding under the bed' stage of a lighting phobia but one night i was stuck out in the rain and severe lightning and i just sort of, well, got used to it. It doesnt really bother me anymore.

r3nu4l

I used to have a phobia about climbing ladders. I was perfectly happy scaling walls and rockfaces to any height but if you put a ladder against the same walls and rockfaces and asked me to climb it I'd get stuck at the second rung...

It started when I saw someone fall from a ladder because it slipped from under them so to my young mind it was a 'rational' type of fear.

I conquered it when I joined the Civil Defence rescue service. In the rescue service, the Civil Defence use ladders not only to climb walls but to bridge gaps and crawl over as well as lashing one end of a stretcher to the top of a ladder and then lowering the ladder to the ground in a hinge-type movement.

One evening during training we were simulating an accident that required access to a roof so the team had to climb a ladder and hoist up rescue equipment. If done properly these simulations can be quite realistic and the adrenalin starts to flow so the team leader said to me "get up there and assess the damage". I had to get up to the space quickly so without thinking I just climbed the ladder and got on with it. It was only when it came to getting down again that I even realised I had climbed a ladder in the first place. I watched the others get down and when it was my turn it took me about two minutes to work up the courage to step onto the ladder and climb down. I managed it simply because I knew I'd gotten up that way and that people were watching me and I didn't want to look like a complete eejit!

The next night I got hold of a step ladder and practiced climbing up and down that for about an hour, one or two rungs at most until I was comfortable...and I went from there.

These days I have absolutely no fear of climbing ladders at all

NonDrinkersClub

I've always wanted to get over my needle phobia but have never actually succeeded. I've spent so much money on hypnotherapy but trust me, it's a joke. I wonder if I'll ever be ok with them.

Hellrazer

Used to have a huge phobia of dentists ever since I was younger and got a tooth broken during a routine extraction--I had to have the rest of the broken tooth removed surgically and that was the most horroble experience ever.

It was so bad that I couldnt even get a cleaning once a year.

A friend of mine pointed me in the direction of a dentist who specialised in patients with phobias.
The way he did it was to start me off with valium to relax me before visits..there were times I was so out of it that he could have taken my head off and I wouldnt have cared.

He gradually weaned me off the dosage of valium(over 10-12 visits in a short space of time) till eventually I was taking a placebo before visits(which I didnt even know I was taking)

I can go to visits now without any panic attacks.

Its a huge relief when you do get over these things and realise that its an unfounded fear of the unknown.

Glitteronsnow

After a couple of bad flights in a row, I was terrified of flying. I even posted on here looking for help as I was doing some travelling last summer. After over 10 flights in the space of one month, I kind of got used to it, before I'd be sitting for the entirety of the flight bawling my eyes out, I'm still nervous and can't fly on my own, but the crying has stopped, and I can sleep the night before I fly as well I find the worst part is the take off, after that I can even read a book/magazine now! I managed to sleepfor the majority of a long haul flight. That was great!:D

Some things I found helped, never sit down the back of the plane if you have an option, sit about 8-10 rows from the front. I used to sit and close my eyes or stare at the back of the chair in front of me, now I sit in the middle and look out the window, for some reason this soothes me because I can see what's happening. Always have someone to talk to you and distract you.I also find not flying with budget Airlines help because its more cramped.

LadyJ

Yes, I'm very worried about flying next month. It's been two years since I was on a plane and every time I look at the news there's something about a flight that had difficulty landing or during the flight. I'm terrified that something stupid will go wrong and I'll be too scared to fly again. I'd give anything to be able to be relaxed enough to sleep on a plane!

bogwalrus

i have a few fluctuating phobias. Sometimes im really scared of spiders and when i see them i just have to get away from them but then there is other times when i just say to myself "its just a harmless little spider" and i can actually stand being near them and completely over come the fear, i could even pick them up in those moods.

My other fluctuating fear is heights. like the first poster here i could not go on any of the lovely attractions in Paris or can barely stand near a railing that was on a 1st+ story building. Heights really do freak me out but only sometimes. I set out to try and conquer the fear around 2 years ago and to do this i did the biggest tests of all for someone with a fear of heights. I climbed a massive crane. If i can remember correctly i really focused my mind on achieving the goal of climbing the crane and kept saying to myself "you are going to conquer this fear". this is what got me through the hard part which was the climbing up, when i got to the top i felt like i achieved something great and the joy overcame the fear that i was now standing on a really high crane. I stayed up there for an hour admiring the scenery (of killarney) smoked a cigarette and then climbed down. But wait........the next day after a nice nights sleep i had some kind of flash back and and once again i was scared of heights. when i thought about the climbing up and down it just got me really edgy and so on.......what a crazy phobia.


Then the other is a fear of needles which i actually think i have overcome. I used to pass out with the sight of them. then when i went to new york a few years ago when i was 19 i got a mean ass tattoo. i didnt mind that at all knowing it was indeed a needle etc. But to be honest maybe i am just scared of the medicinal injections that go really far into you. hmmm, must think about that.


But anyway from what i said above i really thing a phobia is some irrational memory or thought that is so deep in the mind (or be it your subcauntious) that it really does take a lot of focus,determination and possibly mediating to overcome it.


slan

She Devil

I really really tried to get rid of my phobia, i even went to a few therapy sessions organised for me by the ray darcy show, my fear is that of dogs, i am so scared of them it started to rule my life, still does to a point, i just can't conquer it, i thought i was getting somewhere with the therapist in dublin until she brought a dog into the room i totally freaked out and begged my dad not to bring me back, I had to pretend i was better because i didn't want the show to make me face it again and again, i wish i wasn't so scared!
Now my boyfriend wants to get a dog and i would like to to but i just can't !!! Hell i can't even go for a walk, i spent most of my childhood on walls and gates trying to get away from them!

Dasilva94

Hellrazer wrote: »

Used to have a huge phobia of dentists ever since I was younger and got a tooth broken during a routine extraction--I had to have the rest of the broken tooth removed surgically and that was the most horroble experience ever.

It was so bad that I couldnt even get a cleaning once a year.

A friend of mine pointed me in the direction of a dentist who specialised in patients with phobias.
The way he did it was to start me off with valium to relax me before visits..there were times I was so out of it that he could have taken my head off and I wouldnt have cared.

He gradually weaned me off the dosage of valium(over 10-12 visits in a short space of time) till eventually I was taking a placebo before visits(which I didnt even know I was taking)

I can go to visits now without any panic attacks.

Its a huge relief when you do get over these things and realise that its an unfounded fear of the unknown.

I have a similar situation with dentists

Was your Dentist from Cork? And do you know if there is a register of Dentists who work with people with Dental phobia?

Rashers

Dudess wrote: »

I used to have quite the fear of heights. I could not lean over a balcony (even at a piddlingly low height). I'd have to be a couple of feet away from it, and even then, I'd feel all dizzy and shaky. As for the Eiffel Tower and l'Arc de Triomphe - there wasn't a hope I'd crane my neck over the edge to catch sight of the renowned "vue". This despite acres of barriers rendering it impossible to fall over unless you actually climbed on top of said barriers.
Then, the fear just gradually... went. I can't figure out how. I just became less freaked by heights as time went by. I certainly didn't conquer my fear consciously - maybe something was going on subconsciously?

I think the above post will do nicely to illustrate something important to all other posters in this thread.

An irrational fear (or even what's considered to be a rational one) will generally not just go away.

Gradual exposure. That's one of the best strategies, and one that many people use to overcome a fear or phobia without even realising it.

Say you have a fear of going out (agoraphobia). Now I know this can be a deeper subject, dealing with panic attacks, anxiety etc. But that part is too big for me to address here.

But say you've reached the mindset that you're determined to go out. This is where gradual exposure comes in.

Begin with 'baby steps'. Try not to be too ambitious -- be patient and most of all be gentle with yourself.

Your first 'baby step' (aka Gradual Exposure) might be to your doorway, or to the end of your garden. Only you can know where your comfort zone ends. Then gradually, over days or weeks when it feels right for you, expand your exposure... gradually.... walk to the next gate... or the corner.... wherever you feel comfortable.

Never ever set out to 'test' yourself. Think of it as 'practice'.

Gradually you'll notice that your safety zone has expanded and in time you will be able to go where you want to.

Keep a daily 'for your eyes only' journal... fill a whole A4 sized page every day (yes every day without fail) and write about how you felt, what you did, anything.... if you run out of things to write about then write about the weather if you like.... but fill that page.

In time you will look back on that journal and right there before your eyes you'll read of your own journey to where you want to be... and that will give you an extra boost.

Reward yourself for every success on your journey, even if it's only a bar of chocolate or something. And never ever dwell on any setback if you have one.... instead see if you can learn something from it.... have a read through your journal.

And that's how you conquer a fear.... through gradual exposure to that which you fear.

Enjoy the journey....

itsallaboutheL

i didn't kill a spider yesterday........ fear almost conquered

LadyJ

Rashers wrote: »

I think the above post will do nicely to illustrate something important to all other posters in this thread.

An irrational fear (or even what's considered to be a rational one) will generally not just go away.

Gradual exposure. That's one of the best strategies, and one that many people use to overcome a fear or phobia without even realising it.

Say you have a fear of going out (agoraphobia). Now I know this can be a deeper subject, dealing with panic attacks, anxiety etc. But that part is too big for me to address here.

But say you've reached the mindset that you're determined to go out. This is where gradual exposure comes in.

Begin with 'baby steps'. Try not to be too ambitious -- be patient and most of all be gentle with yourself.

Your first 'baby step' (aka Gradual Exposure) might be to your doorway, or to the end of your garden. Only you can know where your comfort zone ends. Then gradually, over days or weeks when it feels right for you, expand your exposure... gradually.... walk to the next gate... or the corner.... wherever you feel comfortable.

Never ever set out to 'test' yourself. Think of it as 'practice'.

Gradually you'll notice that your safety zone has expanded and in time you will be able to go where you want to.

Keep a daily 'for your eyes only' journal... fill a whole A4 sized page every day (yes every day without fail) and write about how you felt, what you did, anything.... if you run out of things to write about then write about the weather if you like.... but fill that page.

In time you will look back on that journal and right there before your eyes you'll read of your own journey to where you want to be... and that will give you an extra boost.

Reward yourself for every success on your journey, even if it's only a bar of chocolate or something. And never ever dwell on any setback if you have one.... instead see if you can learn something from it.... have a read through your journal.

And that's how you conquer a fear.... through gradual exposure to that which you fear.

Enjoy the journey....

Thanks Dr. Marvin!

Rashers

LadyJ wrote: »

Thanks Dr. Marvin!

My pleasure.

Tupins

Hi, I used to have an extreme phobia about spiders. It was getting really bad, I would have panic attacks and feel I couldn't breathe when I saw one in my house. It felt like my throat was closing up and I would feel that I was about to black out - it was really horrible.

The annoying thing was that on a logical level, I knew that they couldn't hurt me and I have no idea why I was so afraid of them - sometimes we 'learn' our phobias from parents etc but no one else in my family was afraid of them and I still can't think of any traumatic experience which started it all off - it's weird.

The thing i used to hate though, was when I would tell someone about my phobia they would either laugh (very helpful) or tell me "But sure they can't hurt you" (even less helpful - I know they can't hurt me, that's why they're called irrational fears!)

So if anyone out there comes into contact with someone with a phobia (and I mean a real phobia, not just a dislike - there's a big difference!) do try to be supportive even if you don't understand it. Trust me it's a terrifying experience.

By the way, I had hypnotherapy and I found it brilliant. Highly recommend it. I can now be in the same room as a spider without almost fainting. I still don't really like them very much but I could shoo one outside with a newspaper or something no problem :-)

Rashers

Tupins wrote: »

Hi, I used to have an extreme phobia about spiders.

Well done Tupins. And may I say a great post... inspiring to many I have no doubt.

Poppy78

I am the opposite of the original poster in that i used to be fairly fearless but have slowly developed more and more fears over the years. The most annoying one is heights as i used to be like those urban acrobats, climbing walls and doing cartwheels on them. Now i can barely look at a ladder and cannot go up staircases that you can see through bits of them.

The one fear i did manage to get rid of was of dogs. I was bitten by one as a child. I went to ridiculous lenghts to avoid them including running out into a busy dual carriageway. My legs would go like jelly if i spotted one off in the distance.

And how did i manage to get rid of the fear? Unbelievably by getting a pet dog. It is probably what the cbt people call immersion therapy, where i was forced to come face to face with the thing i fear. My husband took me to a pet rescue centre and this particular dog jumped up and grabbed onto my leg as if she was humping it. Obviously she was not, but i thought it was so funny that i laughed my a*se off instead of getting hysterical. Then when i looked at her all i could see was big pleading eyes instead of the teeth and slobber that i usually saw. I could not leave her there.

Now I have two dogs and am one of those sappy people that pet strangers dogs in the street. It is nearly unbelievable even to me but true all the same. It gives me hope about overcoming my other fears though now that i know it can be done. Good luck to all those trying to get past their phobias.

hi

I did this course a few weeks ago, overcoming your fear of heights,
the morning session is taken up by 2 different forms of therapy, and the afternoon by absailing and rock climbing.

the 2nd day, it's rock climbing.(couldn't stay for it)

did it work?, well i had no problem at all with the absailing, it does seem to work, 9 out of the 10 people on the course seem to be cured.

http://www.will4adventure.com/overcome_your_fear_of_heights.shtml

elleA

Up until about 3 months ago I was absolutely petrified of lifts/elevators. When I was 3 years, I got stuck in a old lift with my auntie in a hospital. My aunt has told me we were stuck in there for almost 2 hours. I don't remember any of the time in there, just the feeling of fear. I had a phobia ever since then and would climb any amount of stairs to avoid getting into a lift.

When I was about 11 years old and on holiday in England I decided my fear was totally irrational and that I had to try and beat it. My first time back in lift was in our hotel. It stalled and I was stuck in there for 30 minutes. So much for beating my fear, it just made it a thousand times worse.

Then a few months ago I got a job that required getting into various lifts several times an HOUR. I was visibly shaking for all of the first day but after that it was mind over matter. I had no choice but to use the lifts everyday. By the end of the first week, I had completely conquered the fear. I only truly realised this the other day though when I was in Marks and Spencer on Grafton Street and fond myself debating whether to be lazy and take the lift to the next floor. 3 months ago I would rather have pulled my own hair out than get in that lift. The realisation that my phobia was totally gone was a brilliant feeling, like a massive weight had been lifted off me.

LadyJ

elleA wrote: »

like a massive weight had been lifted off me.

Eh? Eh? I see what you did there! :pac:

Congratulations though. That's a promising story.