The Paddy Olympics

Xavi6

That's right folks, another entrepreneur to be proud of -

http://www.rte.ie/sport/other/2008/0220/carrollc.html

Irish sumo wrestler to launch 'Paddy Olympics'
Wednesday, 20 February 2008 14:23

Forget Beijing. Corkonian Colin Carroll, part-time sumo 'flyweight' and a world champion in elephant polo, has unveiled plans to launch the 'Paddy Olympics'.

While his latest brainwave has perhaps come a little too late to steal the thunder from this year's Beijing Olympics, the 35-year-old reckons he has struck gold with his idea.

'We would have the old favourites like bathtub races, backwards running and the egg-and-spoon 100 metres,' Carroll told Reuters news agency in a telephone interview from his home in Cork.

'We may look into the possibility of using the whip in the bathtub races. Instead of discus throwing there would be mobile phone throwing.

'For the relays we could have mixed teams - two humans and two dogs. Animals are good.'

He added: 'We may even be in time to host the first Paddy Olympics prior to Beijing. Dope testing would imply an entirely different thing of course.'

Carroll shot to fame in 2005, taking time off from his day job as a lawyer to win a surprise gold for Ireland at the world elephant polo championships in the Nepali jungle.

He risked life and limb a year later to become Ireland's first grappler at the world sumo championships but had to sign a death waiver first because of his pint-sized frame.

'I do take being silly very seriously,' said Carroll, now training for an assault on the three-legged marathon world record.

'I promise you I have given my Paddy Olympics serious thought. Qualification for the Games would be a dedication to silliness.'

Carroll, who has popped up in previous incarnations in a boy band in Poland and the Irish bobsleigh team in Latvia, once broke his back while wind-surfing and still has steel screws supporting his spine.

His family think he is raving mad but Carroll, who has published a book on his death-defying capers, continues to tweak the nose of fear.

As if his plans for a rival Olympics were not huge enough, Carroll raised more eyebrows when he declared his intention to represent Ireland in synchronised swimming.

'At last year's world swimming championships I offered my services as Ireland's only diver,' said Carroll, who has his sumo name 'Green Fly' tattooed on his arm in Chinese characters.

'I was going to pinch my nose and bomb off. They said no.'

That knock-back from Swim Ireland spurred him to take on a different aquatic challenge as a synchronised swimmer.

'I've been practising with a peg on my nose,' he said. 'Ireland may well return from the Beijing Olympics without a medal. Where will we be then?'

Such is Carroll's determination to make a splash in synchronised swimming, that he is threatening legal action to overturn rules preventing men from competing at the Olympics.

'It's sexual discrimination,' he said. 'I'm not a monster, ladies. I just want to swim with you. I'm willing to take it all the way to CAS (the Court of Arbitration for Sport) in Switzerland.'

Carroll's eagerness to become world champion of just about anything could see him win gold at the Welsh sheepdog trials and the rickshaw world championships in India this year.

The world jousting championships and world retro running championships, where athletes - some with rear-view mirrors on their foreheads - run backwards up a Swiss mountain, are also on his radar.

Carroll makes no apologies for his obsession with the obscure and at times plain daft.

'I'm constantly being asked to grow up but during my lunch break at work I find myself wanting to climb trees, skim stones and play hide-and-seek,' he laughed.

'Apparently that's not on for a lawyer in a suit. I see kids splashing in a puddle and I want to join in. I guess I just never killed off the childish gene in me.'

So IF (and it's a big 'if') this somehow happened, what event would you like to see in the Paddy Olympics?

Ruu_Old

Drunk toss contest (like the Simpsons episode)
Skanger boxing (just let them beat the sheeeeite out of each other)

Rb

I'd pay to watch travellers beating the ****e out of eachother, but that's about it.

Wossack

Ruu wrote: »

Drunk toss contest (like the Simpsons episode)
Skanger boxing (just let them beat the sheeeeite out of each other)

ah the old drunken toss. The real trick is not to fall asleep afterwards, with your pants round your ankles

Marksie

Buck passing

Digout for gold

irish sex: guys always come first
and
drunken leching

Dyr

boreathon, see which borathlete can talk about tracker mortgages/house prices/the M50 for the longest

ibh

I'm presuming that the sack race is a must. I would also like to see a couple of practical events like reversing with a trailer, or stacking bales of hay on a trailer, with points for number of bales, quality and symmetry of stacking and points for how well tied down it is.

Hmmn, a lot of trailers involved in mine....

MrJoeSoap

Ministerial drunk driving: Which minister can make it the furthest down the wrong side of the motorway after 12 pints.

FlutterinBantam

Skanger marathon(female),which would of course in deference to the real event be
26 yards and 32 feet

The qualifying mark could be:
***************************
At least 2 packs of Jonny Blue per day
Hooped earings at least 3 cms in diameter
At least 2 inches of black roots showing thru the blonde rinse
Four tattooes including arse antlers
6 inches of muffin roll over the trakkie bottoms
In receipt of at least two state subsidies or assistance
less than three sun holidays in the last 12 months will disqualify
At least one public order offence.
Attendance at 4 Fás courses in the last two years.
39" Flat screen tv with High Def in at least two rooms.

**********************************

Should have some good candidates for that event although the distance may be a tad on the long side.

ibh

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Skanger marathon(female),which would of course in deference to the real event be
26 yards and 32 feet

The qualifying mark could be:
***************************
At least 2 packs of Jonny Blue per day
Hooped earings at least 3 cms in diameter
At least 2 inches of black roots showing thru the blonde rinse
Four tattooes including arse antlers
6 inches of muffin roll over the trakkie bottoms
In receipt of at least two state subsidies or assistance
less than three sun holidays in the last 12 months will disqualify
At least one public order offence.
Attendance at 4 Fás courses in the last two years.
39" Flat screen tv with High Def in at least two rooms.

**********************************

Should have some good candidates for that event although the distance may be a tad on the long side.

I can see it working if you add in a clause that they have to be pushing a pram and dragging at least 2 other bin-lids with them, saying "willya kmon ya little..........."

EamonnKeane

how about an obstacle course based on the Daily Punishment from Father Ted?

MrJoeSoap

MrJoeSoap wrote: »

Ministerial drunk driving: Which minister can make it the furthest down the wrong side of the motorway after 12 pints.

Heh, excellent.