Boards Beers 2008 Take 2

Redhairedguy

Redhairedguy wrote: »

Hey!!! That's not very nice.....

It's not her fault she cannot resist my sexy ginger charms.

It's a good job you were able to remove her straitjacket so easily, otherwise it could have been an entertaining struggle. I assume at this time you are posting from her hostel room, cause we all know what JFK would do...







He would tap that ass. Then again even he had to draw the line somewhere.

Fergl

Just joined.

How often do these happen ?

many show up to the recent one ?

JIZZLORD

they happen every few months, quite randomly. attendance can vary from about 3 to 12, it all depends

ciotog

Fergl wrote: »

Just joined.

How often do these happen ?

many show up to the recent one ?

Hi Fergl, welcome. I'm a Galway newbie though I've been a boards for awhile beforehand. I'm not sure how often these happen though I'd imagine they could be regular as this one was a great laugh. I'd say there were 7/8 at this one. One of the regulars can fill you in further I'm sure.

AckwelFoley

Hey.

I must admit that it was worth the drive and the hangover to go to the pissup.

Real nice bunch of guys and only for that shirt Mattkid was wearing id still be in my own in the pub looking for the group!!!

Cray french chick was yes.. mad.. but id hit it.. many times.. because in comparison to the mad bitch i was with last night.. she seems tame. The bitch bit me.. almost took a chunk out of me :mad:

Mattkid and Darko.. i i owe both of you a pint.. i got a little pre occupied and didnt get the chance to see you to again..

And reghairguy.. ill buy u a pint because ur a mad bastard!

And it was good to put a face to the name of "the lord of the Jizz that is jizzloed"

There was another chap there with black hair white shirt... cant recall the name but it was nice meeting you

MattKid

Pics will posted as soon as I can stop giggling at them

ciotog

MattKid wrote: »

Pics will posted as soon as I can stop giggling at them

Quit with the giggling and get on with the posting!

dafunk

ciotog wrote: »

Would have been - apologies for my lack of short-term memory You were heading for dinner weren't you, good meal had?

I was going to a gig in de burghos. It was pretty good but I' sad to have missed all the madness.

MattKid

I'm crap at documenting these events, I'm to busy with my beer to do a proper job and forget I have a camera on me!



DaFunk (and TristanC making a really funny face)


RHG and JizzLord


RHG, Crazy (possibly medicated) French girl and JizzLord


First Kiss part 1


First Kiss part 2


He really isn't choosy

JIZZLORD

dammit i look terrible in them photos.

MattKid

The good thing about being the otherside of the camera is the lack of me in pics:D

tristanc

Hmm. I have no idea why I'm making that face. I don't even think I was that inebriated by that point.

Bully for actually take some pics MK. I got a new camera for Xmas b4 last - I've literally used it like once. I either forget to bring it, or forget to use it when I do bring it.

Toto Wolfcastle

May I just say that Jizzlord looks nothing like I expected.

JIZZLORD

the second pic gives me a bizarre toothless smile, it think that was when i was falling into the table behind me when the french girl jumped in. thus costing me 10 quid in replacement drinks for the ones i lost

Toto Wolfcastle

JIZZLORD wrote: »

the second pic gives me a bizarre toothless smile, it think that was when i was falling into the table behind me when the french girl jumped in. thus costing me 10 quid in replacement drinks for the ones i lost

You look like my uncle in that one. My uncle is in his 40s. But he looks young for his age!

JIZZLORD

JIZZLORD wrote: »

the second pic gives me a bizarre toothless smile, it think that was when i was falling into the table behind me when the french girl jumped in. thus costing me 10 quid in replacement drinks for the ones i lost

That was an odd moment. One second were posing for a pic, then crazy Frech chick dives in and next thing I know you're falling backward into the poor unsuspecting table behind us.

Soon after you left crazy French chick was making friends at their table, driving them off one by one.

JIZZLORD

janeybabe wrote: »

You look like my uncle in that one. My uncle is in his 40s. But he looks young for his age!

i normally look normal.

Toto Wolfcastle

JIZZLORD wrote: »

i normally look normal.

Good to know

ciotog

janeybabe wrote: »

Good to know

Aren't you sorry you didn't come along now?

Toto Wolfcastle

ciotog wrote: »

Aren't you sorry you didn't come along now?

In a way, yes. But I got my Irish project done so that's good! I'll try make it to the next one.

TerrorFirmer

Priceless pictures of flesh and the statue. That first picture of the French girl has a bit of a 'RHG will be lead away covered in a plastic sheet, as police arrest a wild eyed woman shouting he was my boyfriend, miiiiiiiiiiine' vibe about it.

JIZZLORD

where did rhg get his flesh moniker from

Bob in Belfast

I'd love to come, you guy's rockk.

The Queen

JIZZLORD wrote: »

where did rhg get his flesh moniker from

He's had it for years. I've known him about 4 years now and that's what he's always called!

TerrorFirmer, or RHG/Flesh/Raven Scorchballs - explain to us in depth!

JohnCleary

Ah i've just realised that I can't go to any beers, I wouldn't fit in... I just don't look geeky enough

MattKid

you could always join me with the gay cowboy look

TerrorFirmer

Back long, long ago (a few minutes after he used the coathanger to absail to freedom), he was actually known by his Christian name. Some 11 or 12 odd years ago, we started calling him Kiwi because he used to eat them a lot. Then many years later, our science teacher was giving an example of fleshy fruits and named a Kiwi. So we called him Flesh. And thereforth from Flesh, came a random barrage of names, all of which we call him from time to time...

Flesh, Red, Schpute, gropey, red eagle, red haired guy, leuge, the smoked veg (not to be confused with vag as it unfortunately has been), sminkey (sounds strangely like a pokemon).....and so on. I can't remember the last time I actually called him by his real name, and I see him quite a bit. Nor can I remember the 1000's of other names there are.

Now that you mention Raven Scorchballs, here are some ancient manuscripts (biographical, some say) works about our good friend RHG. I have no idea what happened the rest of it, nor can I find the various sleuthing tales he got himself into.

The sun shone brightly over the long grassy river bank, the shimmering water reflected the clear blue sky overhead and birds flew and chirped happily overhead.



Captain Raven Scorchballs shuddered as he examined the men in his platoon, all huddled like African immigrants in the bottom of a Spanish fishing boat.

“Christ is that a piss stain on your pants?” he roared at nearby Private Wimp, a thick vain standing out on his neck in a mixture of disbelief and anger.

“Uh no captain,” Wimp explained carefully, “It’s the coffee you spilt on me earl-”

“Shut the **** up you little ****” Sorchballs screamed in his face, covering it in a thin veil of spit and morsels of cornflakes.



Scorchballs shook his head in disgust. He leant over the side of the landing craft and breathed in a deep gulp of filthy, polluted Vietnamese air. “Ah,” he said finally, choking and coughing furiously, “I needed to clear my head.”



“ETA, 2 minutes,” Corporal Fruit screamed across the noise of the crashing waves and throbbing engine of the landing craft, “Expecting strong enemy entrenchments and strong points!”



Scorchballs primed his M4 Carbine and tensed his shoulders. He felt a lick of hair slide down his forehead and he swept it back furiously under his helmet. “Last time I buy ****ing gel at THAT store,” he muttered angrily as the man next to him dropped to his knees, his face a gaping mess of oozing gore and crushed bone, and fell flat on the floor. Scorchballs absentmindedly shoved the body away with his foot as he examined his hairline for imperfections in the ladies hairbrush-mirror two in one combination he always carried in a special red pouch on his belt, nestled safely beside the dazzling array of screwdrivers and tools he carried on a special utility belt.



“Get Down, Sharpshooter!” someone screamed.



Oh, how they had all laughed when he insisted on bring his special customised belt on his first ever assignment. Yes, he remembered his first assignment, the fun they made of him, Scorchballs the rookie. But oh no, they weren’t laughing afterwards. Not after he captured an entire VC trench system using a spoon he accidentally brought with him from the base canteen. Or the time he disappeared into the jungle with nothing but a half eaten sandwich and a pack of matches, and came back several hours later strewn with blood and carrying a US P.O.W under each arm. Of the sandwich, no trace was ever found, and the matches, well, they were recovered several days later by a jungle recon with all but three matches used.



Everyone respected Scorchballs. There were those who didn’t like him, there were those that thought him a fool. But like him or not they all respected him. He smiled a grim smile, a smile that existed solely for heroes as he basked in the memories of his greatness, a dark crimson pool of sticky blood and brain matter puddling around his boots. He snapped to attention as there was a sudden creaky, dry groan as the landing door began to swing downward. The craft suddenly jolted violently as it hit the river shore.



At last they were clear. Scorchballs jogged casually out of the landing craft as tracers whizzed and whined by him, explosions showering the group with dirt and water. From the treeline several hundred yards ahead, dozens of muzzles flashes erupted furiously and all around him, ripping up grass and dirt all over the place. He turned around to wave the men forward, only to see Private Fruit leap off the landing craft with his rifle pointed towards the ground. The second he landed, his rifle cracked, and a meaty chunk of foot flew messily away. He screamed and instantly dropped to his knees, detonating a land mine in the process and him and several soldiers around him erupted instantaneously in a thunderous shower of blood and dirt.



Scorchballs raised his carbine and fired indiscriminately, watching satisfactorily with eagle eyes as the number of muzzle flashes in the trees was gradually whittled down to sporadic bursts of gunfire. Within moments the vicious firefight was over, and Scorchballs rallied his men.



Looking around at the low number of casualties, he thanked god that the commie scum’s third world origin naturally rendered them totally and typically inaccurate at even the closest of ranges. He waved his men forward, towards the dense jungle that lay beyond the landing zone.



Part Two – Band of Brothers



The men stared in a mixture of admiration and disbelief. Scorchballs lit a cigar as he regarded the destroyed tank disdainfully, tucking the hacksaw back into its pouch and closing the flap. For a moment there was complete silence and he leant back, letting the smoke drift up into the thick vegetation that hung over his head.



“This is kinda like the Jet Fighter thing where you just had that straw and-” someone started. “Shut the hell up!” Scorchballs screamed instantly, resembling a red eagle as rage overcame him. He looked around at his squad and took particular interest in one young recruit, who stood trembling. “So, this was your first action today, was it?” Scorchballs asked him with surprising tenderness. The youth nodded and Scorchballs gave him a knowing glance in return. “You did well kid,” he said, “you must feel like a real man now, eh?”



“Well, I suppose-” the young man replied, before he was cut down in Scorchballs insane gaze of death. “How Dare you!” he screamed, “you little ****! How dare you shoot your mouth off like that!”



“But-” the youth protested, but that was as far as he got.



“You think you’re better then the rest of us now do you?” Scorchballs continued to roar, his normally pale, freckly face apocalyptic with unprecedented rage



“No I just-”



“Get out of my sight!” Scorchballs screamed, his rage reaching a climax as a furious tornado of spit flew in all directions.

tristanc

Oh, follow up question - RHG and Darko - do y'all still have jobs after Friday?

tristanc

tristanc wrote: »

Oh, follow up question - RHG and Darko - do y'all still have jobs after Friday?

I don't, though I believe RHG does. Or will till crazy shows up and burns down his place of employement.

ciotog

Deleted User wrote: »

I don't, though I believe RHG does. Or will till crazy shows up and burns down his place of employement.

And claims it in the name of Basque Separatists ... (apparently she's from a part of France that isn't really France - I think that's what she said). She also wasn't impressed with the Cliffs of Moher!

Sorry to hear about the job though, that's real sacrifice for boards .. that and shedding blood.