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Sex

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24

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    #32
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Again to echo the previous statements, very well said

    You can have closeness in a relationship and deep love also but nothing replaces or comes close to in my opinion than making love and having something with your lover that no one else can have.

    Minesajackdaniels wrote: »
    Men associate feeling desirable, sexy loved, wanted, needed and appreciated with having sex.

    Women associate feeling desirable, loved, wanted, needed and appreciated with being cuddled non-sexually, being made laugh, having cups of tea brought to them, getting little presents on days that aren't national holidays or their birthday, being listened to, not having to do all the housework on their own and being made love to with effortful foreplay including rose petals and champagne.

    There are also days when we want to be shagged senseless with little or no foreplay, on the kitchen table, with no noise except grunting, but we're not going to tell you which days those are.


    Come along now men, keep up...


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    #33
    AckwelFoley
    Registered Users Posts: 12,556 ✭✭✭✭AckwelFoley


    Good sex in a relationship is important.. great sex is even better.

    I met a really lovely girl a few months back, and dated for a short while (2 -3 weeks) before we had sex..

    She was such a lovely girl.. but my god the sex was so bad i dont think i even talked to her again.

    i just felt like telling her that a BJ isnt supposed to hurt me..

    Having said that the girl i was seein just after her .. the sex was mindblowingly great, but she was a self centered cnut... so if i had to choose between to two.. which would i choose?

    Neither,, i bought a puppy, an increased subscription for my Sky TV and a big box of tissues.


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    #34
    cuckoo
    Registered Users Posts: 1,945 ✭✭✭cuckoo


    ztoical wrote: »
    very well said. Theres also a big difference in what a one person would consider "sex" and what another might. Some people think of sex as just penetration and nothing else but I've had some very intimate moments with one ex that didn't involve penetrative sex [no I'm not just taking about oral you prev's :p]

    True, there's been times in past relationships when one or both of us were too tired/stressed/whatever to be bringing sexy back, but we'd get through the patches as we were still hugging, kissing and sharing physical affection.


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    #35
    dr.bollocko
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 35,943 Mod ✭✭✭✭dr.bollocko


    I think a deep and long lasting sexual connection comes from a deep and meaningful relationship. I have had a lot of long term relationships and sex has always been an issue.
    And I am not saying an "issue" as in it caused arguments. I mean that we were always able to talk to each other in a non-judgemental way about our sex life. our sexual and physical needs and a lot of times, the quality of the sex is a baseline that indicates how well the relationship is going. You can say that the sex can ebb and flow and this is true, but it is a barometer for the relationship. If you arent doing it, talking about it or wanting it and havent been quite frequently, then its time to get yourself a new relationship.


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    #36
    Spyral
    Closed Accounts Posts: 885 ✭✭✭Spyral


    people who sleep together before marriage are more likely to break up.

    Simply put you should only sleep with someone you love

    if you do truly love them then you'd be ok without having sex until you got married.


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    #37
    dr.bollocko
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 35,943 Mod ✭✭✭✭dr.bollocko


    Sorry Spyral that is simply not at all in any way true. It might work for you. If you dont sleep with a person before marriage you are marrying for sex, and just as likely to break up, regardless of the sex.
    Some people have different sex drives to others, some have different ideas to others about sex. Whereas you may be disgusted by the thought of sex for the sake of sex, rather than for the sake of love, it is not incumbent upon you to issue rules about it or to tut-tut those whose opinions on sex are different to yours. To say that you should be ok with not ****ing someone because you love them is also bull****. Because everyone is entitled to ask to have their needs met, sexual or otherwise, in a relationship, and if the sex isnt there, isnt worth it, or is simply crap, it is TOTALLY OK for the person to walk out the door, love or not, its not a functional relationship as it is not meeting their needs.


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    #38
    Jules
    Registered Users Posts: 6,756 ✭✭✭Jules


    Lil Kitten wrote: »
    Relationship is more about love than sex.

    And what is the ultimate expression of love, being intimate with another person, well for me it is anyway.

    And Spyral, where did you get the stats on that statement. Would love to see them.

    It all depends on personal choice. If people want to wait till they get married to be intimate well then that is their choice and fair play to them, but personally i need to know that someone can spark my interests, not just mentally or emotionally, but physically also. And i'm sorry but i am not willing to wait till i have stood in front of my family and friends and promised to love and honour someone before i know that they can... spark my interests physically.

    And to put it a more crude way.... you always test drive a car before you buy it!


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    #39
    Weidii
    Closed Accounts Posts: 842 ✭✭✭Weidii


    Sex is so important to me in a relationship, I think it's mainly down to what was originally said about connection, feeling loved, feeling good about yourself. I find it really difficult being with men with a lower sex drive than me because I feel like some sort of freakish sex fiend if I want it more often than them (aren't men supposed to be the horny ones?)

    It really upsets me when I'm with someone and they forget to buy condoms when they know they'll be sleeping with me. I have been in a relationship where my OH never bought condoms on his own accord, it always took me to remind, nag him and even give out to him over it, which is awful really (don't worry, I believe in equality and I would organise contraception if it was me going to his place)

    But yeah, sex is great. Call me a freak, but I'd happily do it more than twice a day, every day.


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    #40
    Iago
    Registered Users Posts: 6,638 ✭✭✭Iago


    Spyral wrote: »
    people who sleep together before marriage are more likely to break up.

    Simply put you should only sleep with someone you love

    if you do truly love them then you'd be ok without having sex until you got married.

    lol.

    that is all


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    #41
    Black Swan
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 47,258 CMod ✭✭✭✭Black Swan


    Serious relationships have to have bedroom gymnastics to stay fit.


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    #42
    Sherifu
    Registered Users Posts: 17,727 ✭✭✭✭Sherifu


    Spyral wrote: »
    people who sleep together before marriage are more likely to break up.

    Simply put you should only sleep with someone you love

    if you do truly love them then you'd be ok without having sex until you got married.
    Then you could be stuck with someone who's crap in bed. No thanks. :)


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    #43
    aye
    Closed Accounts Posts: 991 ✭✭✭aye


    Spyral wrote: »
    people who sleep together before marriage are more likely to break up.

    Simply put you should only sleep with someone you love

    if you do truly love them then you'd be ok without having sex until you got married.

    i call BS.
    sex is very important. if you and your oh arent sexually compatiable then frustration will just build and build. everyone has needs.

    imagine getting married to someone and finding out you arent sexually compatiable on your wedding night.
    now you have to spend he rest of your life without good sex, and that will more likely lead to an affair, leading to a divorce.


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    #44
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Spyral wrote: »
    people who sleep together before marriage are more likely to break up.

    Simply put you should only sleep with someone you love

    if you do truly love them then you'd be ok without having sex until you got married.

    If you are going to say something outlandish like that you need to at the very least quote a research source. Otherwise I can just sit here and say people who sleep together before marriage are more likely to stay together.

    Maybe its the case that you should only sleep with people you love but people can be in love out of wedlock and then fall out of love again.

    To say that having sex before marriage would contribute to the end of a marriage for me is ludicrous. There are so many reasons a marriage can end after 20 odd years together but, the fact that they slept together 21/22 years prior being one of them, for me, is just not one of them.


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    #45
    Zulu
    Registered Users Posts: 10,965 ✭✭✭✭Zulu


    Spyral wrote: »
    people who sleep together before marriage are more likely to break up.

    Simply put you should only sleep with someone you love

    if you do truly love them then you'd be ok without having sex until you got married.
    Spyral - you are probably dead right. I believe that.

    ...but I would say that isn't to do with not having sex before marriage, and more to do with the type of people who don't have sex before marriage. I would assume that for a couple to abstain in today's society they would be significantly more religious, and possible have a slightly different view of marriage (due to their beliefs). What I'd be interested to see though is, how many of them are in actual "loving" relationships, and not just staying together because they were in fact married.


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    #46
    AckwelFoley
    Registered Users Posts: 12,556 ✭✭✭✭AckwelFoley


    For women that chhose not to have sex before wedlock and or say sex is not important in a relationship, i ve one request.. dont call me :D

    You are of course entitled fully to choose to abstain, and i actually respect people that are ablt to do this, but its certainly not an option for me ;)


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    #47
    Reku
    Registered Users Posts: 3,766 ✭✭✭Reku


    Zulu wrote: »
    Spyral - you are probably dead right. I believe that.

    ...but I would say that isn't to do with not having sex before marriage, and more to do with the type of people who don't have sex before marriage. I would assume that for a couple to abstain in today's society they would be significantly more religious, and possible have a slightly different view of marriage (due to their beliefs). What I'd be interested to see though is, how many of them are in actual "loving" relationships, and not just staying together because they were in fact married.

    Quite possibly this statistic is more due to the reason they get married (she gets preganant) than the fact that they had pre-marital sex. Lets face it "shotgun weddings" have been around for a long time, and if the couple were happy about it the shotgun wouldn't have been necessary. It's only in recent years that abortions and the morning after pill have become a more available option, as such many older couples may have only married due to being backed into a corner when they realise she is pregnant. With people marrying older these days and Ireland being known to have an aging population I think it is not an unreasonable assumption that the older folks, who would have married in the era when such were not readily available, and the Catholic shuch made damn sure you stuck it out, make up a large portion of the married population and probably of the split/divorced population.


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    #48
    Zombrex
    Closed Accounts Posts: 25,848 ✭✭✭✭Zombrex


    Spyral wrote: »
    people who sleep together before marriage are more likely to break up.

    Simply put you should only sleep with someone you love

    if you do truly love them then you'd be ok without having sex until you got married.

    People who don't sleep together before marriage are more likely to be devoutly religious. Devoutly religious people are less likely to get a divorce.

    What those statistics don't take into account is how happy people are in a relationship. A devoutly religious couple are more likely to stay together even if they are miserable out of a sense of duty to their religion and to keep up appearances within their religious community.

    [EDIT] Just noticed Zulu said exactly the same thing [/EDIT]


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    #49
    gcgirl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,044 ✭✭✭gcgirl


    Wicknight wrote: »
    People who don't sleep together before marriage are more likely to be devoutly religious. Devoutly religious people are less likely to get a divorce.

    What those statistics don't take into account is how happy people are in a relationship. A devoutly religious couple are more likely to stay together even if they are miserable out of a sense of duty to their religion and to keep up appearances within their religious community.

    [EDIT] Just noticed Zulu said exactly the same thing [/EDIT]

    i have to totally agree with you there !
    I myself thinks that sex is an important part of being in a relationship
    i always say that you always test drive a car before you buy it
    so why settle for a dud in bed!


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    #50
    AckwelFoley
    Registered Users Posts: 12,556 ✭✭✭✭AckwelFoley


    Why settle for a dud in bed?

    Prb cause hes loaded! :D


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    #51
    gcgirl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,044 ✭✭✭gcgirl


    snyper wrote: »
    Why settle for a dud in bed?

    Prb cause hes loaded! :D

    sorry but i'd rather someone whose broke and able to make me cum 3/4 time in one night that some one who is loaded!!


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    #52
    AckwelFoley
    Registered Users Posts: 12,556 ✭✭✭✭AckwelFoley


    gcgirl wrote: »
    sorry but i'd rather someone whose broke and able to make me cum 3/4 time in one night that some one who is loaded!!

    only 3/4 times?

    Looks like u already settled for a dud :p

    .. joking ;)


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    #53
    gcgirl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,044 ✭✭✭gcgirl


    snyper wrote: »
    only 3/4 times?

    Looks like u already settled for a dud :p

    .. joking ;)

    i have one friend who never experianced one til she was 26 !!!


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    #54
    gcgirl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,044 ✭✭✭gcgirl


    snyper wrote: »
    only 3/4 times?

    Looks like u already settled for a dud :p

    .. joking ;)

    right how many times you ever make some one cum????????????:D


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    #55
    AckwelFoley
    Registered Users Posts: 12,556 ✭✭✭✭AckwelFoley


    .. 5..my last partner... but she was easily pleased :D


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    #56
    gcgirl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,044 ✭✭✭gcgirl


    snyper wrote: »
    .. 5..my last partner... but she was easily pleased :D

    what can i say there!!!


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    #57
    Zulu
    Registered Users Posts: 10,965 ✭✭✭✭Zulu


    get a room!


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    #58
    Dragan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    Hmmmm......the thread went from interesting debate to e-penis showing in the space of the page!

    Deadly! :D


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    #59
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    snyper wrote: »
    .. 5..my last partner... but she was easily pleased :D

    Liar....five is a number people don't stop on.


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    #60
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    gcgirl wrote: »
    i have one friend who never experianced one til she was 26 !!!

    There must be so many of those people out there.
    Someone using Nuvaring on another thread mentioned that some people pass comment on the ickiness of have to touch themselves.


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    #61
    Dragan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    It's sexual compatability. I have been with girls who could not make me cum....no matter what we try it just doesn't happen and i have been with girls who i just seem to click with.

    I guess some folk just take some time to find the right type of partner.


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