Tallaght Jokes

patmac

A Tallaght girl goes to the council to register for child benefit "How
many children?" asks the council worker "10" replies the Tallaght girl

"10???" says the council worker.. "What are their names?"

Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne
and Wayne"

"Doesn't that get confusing?"
"Naah..." says the Tallaght girl "its great because if they are out
playing in the street I just have to shout WAAYNE,YER DINNER'S READY
or WAAYNE GO TO BED NOW and they all do it..."

"What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the Perturbed
council worker.

"That's easy," says the girl... "I just use their surnames"





A Tallaght girl walks into the local dry cleaners.
She places a garment on the counter.
"I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says.
"Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear.
"No" she replies. "This time it's mayonnaise."





A Tallaght Girl enters a s*x shop & asks for a v*brator.

The man says "Choose from our range on the wall."

She says "I'll take the red one."

The man replies "That's a fire extinguisher."




A Tallaght girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped And
bleeding.
The paramedics soon arrive on site.
Medic: "It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some questions?"
Girl: "OK"
Medic: "What's your name?"
Girl: "Sharon ."
Medic: "OK Sharon , is this your car?"
Sharon : "Yes."
Medic: "Where are you bleeding from?"
Sharon: "Tallaght, bud."



A Tallaght girl was driving down the M50 when her car phone rang.
It was her boyfriend, urgently warning her, "Tracy,I just heard on
the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the M50.
Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car!" said the Tallaght girl, "There's hundreds of
them!"



Another Tallaght girl was involved in a serious crash; there's
blood everywhere.
The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till she's
lyingflat out on the floor.

Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed."
Sharon: "Ok."
Medic: "What's your name?"
Sharon : "Sharon"
Medic: "Where do you live?"
Sharon: "Tallaght"
Medic: "Ok Sharon. How many fingers have I got up?"
Sharon: "Oh my god I'm paralysed from the waist down!"

baztard

A pregnant Sharon rings her ma...

Sharon: 'Ma, me waters are after breaking'
Ma: 'Ok Sharon stay calm, where are you ringing from?'
Sharon: 'From me fanny to me ankles'

Hagar

Poor Sharon, she's dogged with bad luck.

mickrourke

I love tallaght. They have names for places that don't belong there, for example Jobstown and none of them living there have a job.

rocky25

As Michael Caine would say “not a lot of people know this” but.

Tallaght is actually Twinned with Tehran in Iran.


Apparently the Iranians heard there was a Pub in Tallaght called the Eye.
The were very glad to hear of this “The Eye In Tallaght” especially when the resident group was called “The Tallaght Band”




Take’s Cynaide Pill and goes to sleep ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz…….
o o
.~.

Capt'n Midnight

mickrourke wrote: »

I love tallaght. They have names for places

pram springs,
tallafornia

ShiverinEskimo

After 9/11 a fire chief is welcoming volunteers to help clean up ground zero.

A big burley man in a cowboy hats strolls up and the chief asks him where he's from,
"Dallas" replies the man.
"What state is that in?" the chief asks.
"State of Texas, Sir" the cowboy proudly proclaims.

Soon after a tanned sufer-type slouches up to the chief, "hi son, where are you from?"
"San Diego" replies the teenager.
"What state is that in?" the chief asks.
"California" the kid says.
"Welcome aboard son, your help is appreciated" the chief says.

Not long later a pasty foreigner strolls up looking around at the devastation. The chief goes through the routine of asking where the man is from
"tallaght" the man replies,
"Oh, i've never heard of that" the chief replies puzzled, "what state is that in?"
"Pretty much the same as this bud".

Homer

Latest news reports advise that a cell of four terrorists has been operating in the West Tallaght area of Dublin.

Gardaí advised earlier today that three of the four have already been detained. The District Garda Commissioner stated that the terrorists: Bin Sleepin, Bin Drinkin and Bin Fightin have all been arrested on immigration issues.

The police advise further that they can find no one fitting the description of the fourth cell member : Bin Workin, in the area. Gardaí are however, confident that anyone who looks like Workin will be extremely easy to spot in the community.

---

Two tallaght young ones walk into Brown Thomas (Dublin), they stroll up to the perfume counter and pick up a sample bottle. Sharon sprays it on her wrist and smells it: 'Dat's quite nice innit, don't you tink Jacinta?'. 'Yeah, what's it called?'. 'Viens a moi' 'VIENS A MOI, what the f##k does that mean? At this stage the assistant offers some help. 'Viens a moi, ladies, is French for "come to me". Sharon, takes another sniff and offers her arm to Jacinta again saying, "That doesn't smell like come to me, does that smell like come to you?".

rocky25

Tallaght Disco Girls,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JyJo12jgGg&feature=related

ShiverinEskimo

rocky25 wrote: »

Tallaght Disco Girls,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JyJo12jgGg&feature=related

I can't watch that. Seriously I just can't. Cringe-tastic.

FrCrilly

A business owner in Tallaght has a maths problem, so he calls in his assistant.

"You went to Tallaght IT and I need your help. If I was to give you €50 minus 14%, how much would you take off".

She replied "Everything but my ear rings"

Mahatma coat

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

pram springs,
tallafornia

ya forgot

Knackeragua

orestes

ShiverinEskimo wrote: »

After 9/11 a fire chief is welcoming volunteers to help clean up ground zero.

A big burley man in a cowboy hats strolls up and the chief asks him where he's from,
"Dallas" replies the man.
"What state is that in?" the chief asks.
"State of Texas, Sir" the cowboy proudly proclaims.

Soon after a tanned sufer-type slouches up to the chief, "hi son, where are you from?"
"San Diego" replies the teenager.
"What state is that in?" the chief asks.
"California" the kid says.
"Welcome aboard son, your help is appreciated" the chief says.

Not long later a pasty foreigner strolls up looking around at the devastation. The chief goes through the routine of asking where the man is from
"tallaght" the man replies,
"Oh, i've never heard of that" the chief replies puzzled, "what state is that in?"
"Pretty much the same as this bud".

Thank you Eric Lawlor

RoyalMarine

6:01 and im in stitches

excellent lads well done