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ideal girl

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  • 28-02-2008 11:21am
    #1
    nikki 122
    Closed Accounts Posts: 307 ✭✭


    will someone please tell me what are lads looking for in a girl, i;m very confused the longest relationship i had only lasted 3 and a half months my ex was always complaining about me, like if he asked me if he could go out with his mates instead of meeting up with me i would not bat an eyelid i just said why the hell are you asking me? then he would rant about how i did not care about him, so the next time he asked me i told him i wanted to spent time with him he laughed in my face and said he did not care what i thought and he was going anyway, whats up with that??
    i'm not clingy enough one minute and too clingy the next so i'm just curious, generally what makes the perfect girl???


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    #2
    watna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,367 ✭✭✭✭watna


    Nikki, there was a thread like this in BGRH and I'm going to give you the same answer i gave there.

    Every man is looking for something different in a woman. If every man liked the same thing our species would have died out because nobody would reproduce beauuse men would only impregnate certain kind of women. You could ask this question and get answers all day from men/women but you'll be none the wiser at the end of it.

    I think you need to relax and think of it that you haven't met the right man yet. He's out there though. You should start by having some confidence in yourself, there's nothing less attractive in either sex then someone who doesn't know who they are and tries to please everybody. Start thinking about what YOU want from a man not what men will want from you.


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    #3
    LadyJ
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,122 ✭✭✭LadyJ


    What makes a perfect sandwich?


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    #4
    watna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,367 ✭✭✭✭watna


    LadyJ wrote: »
    What makes a perfect sandwich?

    Lots of mayonnaise of course!

    (I do get your point though!)


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    #5
    Niamho!
    Registered Users Posts: 1,060 ✭✭✭Niamho!


    so he more or less complained that you were too easy going?? jesus it takes all sorts.... i'm baffled!!

    Even if we could list what qualities you "Should" have, it wouldn't make a difference, coz if you tried all those qualities you wouldn't be yourself. and thats the worst thing....


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    #6
    nikki 122
    Closed Accounts Posts: 307 ✭✭nikki 122


    watna wrote: »
    Nikki, there was a thread like this in BGRH and I'm going to give you the same answer i gave there.

    Every man is looking for something different in a woman. If every man liked the same thing our species would have died out because nobody would reproduce beauuse men would only impregnate certain kind of women. You could ask this question and get answers all day from men/women but you'll be none the wiser at the end of it.

    I think you need to relax and think of it that you haven't met the right man yet. He's out there though. You should start by having some confidence in yourself, there's nothing less attractive in either sex then someone who doesn't know who they are and tries to please everybody. Start thinking about what YOU want from a man not what men will want from you.

    thats fair enough and thanks for your honesty i'm normally very confident but that lad made me feel like s**t and its been low ever since because everything he told me was true, i just want to know where im going wrong i'm not going to change my personality or anything like that i'm not taking it too seriously! !just curious


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    #7
    watna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,367 ✭✭✭✭watna


    nikki 122 wrote: »
    thats fair enough and thanks for your honesty i'm normally very confident but that lad made me feel like s**t and its been low ever since because everything he told me was true, i just want to know where im going wrong i'm not going to change my personality or anything like that i'm not taking it too seriously! !just curious

    I see your point. We've all had exes that have made us feel like shít. It does take a while to get over. He sounds like a bit of an aresehole and I don't think it's worth you getting upset about.

    You'll meet someone who likes you just as you are (Mark Darcy!) but I think you need to get some confidence first.

    You should love someone because of their flaws, not in spite of them.


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    #8
    She Devil
    Registered Users Posts: 9,032 ✭✭✭She Devil


    I think when the time is right the right guy comes along! I split with the wrong guy after a few years of going out ... i thought id never delve into a relationship again (i held the attitude all men are b"""""S) So .......
    When the time came that i was able to get back in the dating game i realised i was the fussiest person ever .. all my friends told me i would be left on the shelf because of my fussiness, i didnt care, my attitude was .. I am not settling for just anything i want my thing! My friends again didnt think my ideal man existed in any world. BUT he does ... he came into my life and i am so happy i waited, those long lonely nights were worth it!
    I think have fun when you are single and dont settle for just anyone, the right guy wont make you feel like that nikki!


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    #9
    nikki 122
    Closed Accounts Posts: 307 ✭✭nikki 122


    thats deep thanks maybe i should start thinking more about me .. ha id love to find a mark darcy!!


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    #10
    kaimera
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,396 ✭✭✭✭kaimera


    PM sent nikki ;)


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    #11
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Wow an easy going girl would be great !! In saying that , im a guy and i was dumped once because i was too easy going and my mind was too clear about what i wanted in my life and she didnt. 4 months later she was pregnant with another guy :/


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    #12
    FruitLover
    Registered Users Posts: 2,534 ✭✭✭FruitLover


    Maybe it's just me, but lack of full-stops and capitals really turns me off...

    (i.e. if you talk the way you type, that might explain things a bit)


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    #13
    nikki 122
    Closed Accounts Posts: 307 ✭✭nikki 122


    She Devil wrote: »
    I think when the time is right the right guy comes along! I split with the wrong guy after a few years of going out ... i thought id never delve into a relationship again (i held the attitude all men are b"""""S) So .......
    When the time came that i was able to get back in the dating game i realised i was the fussiest person ever .. all my friends told me i would be left on the shelf because of my fussiness, i didnt care, my attitude was .. I am not settling for just anything i want my thing! My friends again didnt think my ideal man existed in any world. BUT he does ... he came into my life and i am so happy i waited, those long lonely nights were worth it!
    I think have fun when you are single and dont settle for just anyone, the right guy wont make you feel like that nikki!

    jesus dont think ill last a few years but ill do my best because there is no point in going out with someone just for the sake of it!!


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    #14
    TerrorFirmer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 29,930 ✭✭✭✭TerrorFirmer


    I actually think a big part of these mis-matches and then often perceived as failures on their own part by is the way in which people readily date people despite a glaring lack of a true spark, be it out of a inexperience, a drought period, or a desire to just be settled... or whatever.

    I've only ever gone out with two girls, both of them were long term (and the better one still is :P) and both of them I knew quite well before we dated, so we had that chance to get to know each other and realize we did have a lot in common and worked well as a couple. There are, even if this sounds like a total clichee, too many couples that don't truly 'get each other'.

    I'm not saying that that is definitely applicable in your case, but maybe take a step back and look at the type of guy you're dating - unless you have a specific nasty trait that you're aware of yourself that causes conflict in relationships, I'd peg your 'problem' down to mere incompatibility of interests or dare I say, just a plain and simple dickhead.

    There is always an ideal partner out there for everyone, just because you don't fit one mans criteria doesn't mean you should change to accommodate a short term commitment that is probably doomed already.


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    #15
    She Devil
    Registered Users Posts: 9,032 ✭✭✭She Devil


    I would have waited forever! I always had in my mind that "I'm not a charity" !!! How terrible! But i'm not and honestly the wait is worth it, don't be anybodies doormat! I have friends who get treated like dog muck, because their boyfriends know they can get away with it!


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    #16
    watna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,367 ✭✭✭✭watna


    kaimera wrote: »
    PM sent nikki ;)

    kaimera is Mark DArcy?!! :eek:


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    #17
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Tbh he just sounds like a needy lad who hasnt matured properly. He wasnt right for u obviously so no need to worry. The ideal girl for me is one who gets my sense of humour, is up for a laugh, shares some of my interests but is also independent and not clingy OR too withdrawn. Id love to travel so somebody who likes travel would be great too. Thats for me. For the next guy it would be completely different.

    Dont bog yourself down tryin to be someones ideal OH. Be yourself and find someone who loves that and someone who's comfortable enough around u to be themselves and you're winnin.


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    #18
    kaimera
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,396 ✭✭✭✭kaimera


    watna wrote: »
    kaimera is Mark DArcy?!! :eek:
    I had to wiki him :/

    No, I'm better looking.


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    #19
    Weidii
    Closed Accounts Posts: 842 ✭✭✭Weidii


    As someone else said, stop thinking about what they want and start looking for what you want.


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    #20
    Iago
    Registered Users Posts: 6,638 ✭✭✭Iago


    nikki 122 wrote: »
    will someone please tell me what are lads looking for in a girl, i;m very confused the longest relationship i had only lasted 3 and a half months

    my wife had one teenage relationship that lasted over a year, between then and meeting me 10 years later her longest relationship was about 3-4 dates.

    it'll happen when it's meant to happen, with who it's meant to happen with.

    Everybody is looking for something different so you're not going to get a direct answer that fits all here.


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    #21
    kevmy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,178 ✭✭✭kevmy


    Yeah everyone wants something different. Just to say the thing I find most annoying about some girls is the fakeness. I hate girls who are fake and trying to fit into something they're not. I suppose be yourself is what I'm trying to say. It's definitely a quality in the girl I'm lookin for.

    Other qualities would be (totally personal choice here not meant to be a guy's dream or anything): smart, relatively easy going, good craic, no pushovers they gotta be able to think for themselves, obviously relatively attractive, not pretentious.

    Edit:
    kaimera wrote:
    I had to wiki him :/
    Your not alone there


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    #22
    Jackz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,506 ✭✭✭Jackz


    watna wrote: »
    kaimera is Mark DArcy?!! :eek:

    Isn't one of the points of that book that you have a perception of who the right person for you is but it all goes out the window when you meet someone and there is a spark?


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    #23
    Crazy Catlady
    Closed Accounts Posts: 92 ✭✭Crazy Catlady


    The most important question is What are YOU looking for?
    When we get dumped, its cos we're not what someone else is looking for. I think that's fair enough. It can be unpleasant, but who wants to be in a an ok-ish relationship, when you can be in a deadly one?
    And how will you know your in one, and your needs are being met, if you don't know what you want?
    Its not a selfish thing to decide what is and isn't acceptable.
    Its an important thing. Some things are non negotiable. Some are workable. Spend some time on your own, and see if the next person who comes along is for good enough for you, rather than if you're good enough for them.


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    #24
    gamer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,227 ✭✭✭gamer


    An ideal woman would be kind gentle ,good sense of humour,intelligent, polite,easy going,well dressed,feminine, with her own interests,articulate,confident,independent,honest,does not drink to excess or use drugs.NOT bossy or bad tempered or neurotic.PERSONALITY IS MORE important than anything,most men prefer curvy women to thin women.I GIVE NATALIE PORTMAN AS AN EXAMPLE RE PERSONALITY.Actually caroline moyhahan from the clothes show has a nice personality.


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    #25
    Black Swan
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 47,241 CMod ✭✭✭✭Black Swan


    Make sure he wears rose shaded glasses?


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    #26
    kaimera
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,396 ✭✭✭✭kaimera


    Actually caroline moyhahan from the clothes show has a nice pair of personalities

    Fixed that for ya :)


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    #27
    nikki 122
    Closed Accounts Posts: 307 ✭✭nikki 122


    watna wrote: »
    kaimera is Mark DArcy?!! :eek:

    hold the phone ... what you mean
    :p

    and thanks for all the replies and in response to crazy cat lady i've dated all types (for short peroids) and still haven't found what i'm looking for..from the non-attractive shy lad to the loud hot guy .. many in between .. i know i'm young but its all getting a bit old! !

    oh and high expectations there gamer!!


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    #28
    Dragan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    I could write a massive list of things that would make the ideal girl for me, but thats the problem, it would be the ideal girl for me!

    You don't want to be something your not....just be yourself and eventually you will find you ideal man and because the universe can be a joyous quirky place it will turn out that you are his ideal girl. ;)


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    #29
    nikki 122
    Closed Accounts Posts: 307 ✭✭nikki 122


    everyone says that but i have yet to find a guy that is interested in finding an ideal girl , maybe its just my age group i'm going to start dating older mature men if all teenage lads are just horndogs!!!!


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    #30
    watna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,367 ✭✭✭✭watna


    nikki 122 wrote: »
    everyone says that but i have yet to find a guy that is interested in finding an ideal girl , maybe its just my age group i'm going to start dating older mature men if all teenage lads are just horndogs!!!!

    but when you're a teenager most people aren't looking to settle down and get married etc so you can't really blame the boys. A lot of people on here who you see have lovely boyfriends and are happy would be a good bit older and have been in your situation when we were younger. Enjoy it while you can. Don't be in a rush to find a man to stay with, take your time. I wouldn't have liked to meet my OH too young (I was 22 when I met him which is young enough). There's plenty of time for finding the man who thinks you're his ideal girl.


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    #31
    nikki 122
    Closed Accounts Posts: 307 ✭✭nikki 122


    i hate to admit it but you are right, but i'm not being clear enough i don't mind not having a relationship i just want to meet a nice guy that i have things in common with and someone to make me laugh and cheer me up when i've had a bad day thats not too much to ask is it???


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