It's Mother's Day...what's up with Irish Mammy-laws?!?

cuckoo

One of the positives of my current single state is that I don't have to deal with His Mother. You know, the woman who somewhere deep down believes that it was an immaculate conception because her Son is truely the second coming of Christ....and Holles St was a barn.

And, he backs up this belief of hers by being convinced that his Mammy is Mary, sure, her way with an iron must have been god given.

In the past i have been "not good enough", "a distraction from work/study" and "fine, i suppose, if you like that sort of girl".

What is up with the Irish mother of the Irish son?!?

Yes, we play around with the bits of him that she last saw in the bath when he was 4, and we take up some of his time, and he may no longer be around every Sunday for his dinners - but, why can't these Mammies be happy that their sons are happy?

And, why are they so different towards their daughters?

Any Mammies want to shed light on this?

(title should read 'Mammy-in-laws'....was a bit carried away with my rantings there....)

watna

My bf doesn't have a mother, just a step-mother and she's in NZ and I've never met her! (but will soon :eek:)

My mum isn't really like that with my brother either. She is very close to his gf. Yeah, she has a hgher opinion of him that's maybe not always merited but she doesn't think the sun shines out his arse!

Guess I'm pretty lucky then!

eve

We're actually travelling across the country on Sunday to have dinner with 'the mammy'. Though I think when he accepted the invitation he didn't know what day it was.

But they can be demanding. She'll ring him at least once a week to moan about how she 'never see him', how he 'should come more often'. She has three kids (all boys) but he's the youngest and was the last to leave home (nearly 7 years ago) so she seems to dote on him more.

gollyitsolly

My mother in law couldnt wait to get rid of her sons so she could resume her social life. HaHA. Thats the right attitude me thinks.

LadyJ

My boyfriend's mother is great. She lives on Clare Island though so we don't see her all that much. When we first met I think she was a little defensive and she does ask a lot of questions about everything but once she became more relaxed around me we started to get on really well.

She's still a big question asker but she's fun and full of life. A bit of a hippy tbh but it suits her! Lol. Glad she isn't like the OP's ex's mother. I'd go out of my mind if I had to deal with that kinda crap!

shell63

Tell me about it... I quite like my bf's mum, she's fine, but if she hasn't seen him for a few weeks she's ringing him guilt tripping him! He's busy!!! We live together and I barely see him! I dunno, I keep telling myself it's just because of the type of family they have... very clingy, very different to mine. He used to joke about how she could be 'frequently dropping in for tea unannounced' when we moved in together (apparently she did this with his married brother) Aaaahhh! :eek::eek::eek: She hasn't been that bad though but I think maybe she feels his life should revolve more around his family, as opposed to including his family in his life (if you get me)

Weidii

I love my boyfriends mother, she's lovely! In fact I get along really well with his whole family, it's one of the main reasons I'd be afraid of splitting up with the fella. A good family life is very important to me

Lola123

Weidii wrote: »

I love my boyfriends mother, she's lovely! In fact I get along really well with his whole family, it's one of the main reasons I'd be afraid of splitting up with the fella. A good family life is very important to me

I loved my ex's mam. When we broke up, it felt like I was breaking up with the whole family. V. sad. SHE even cried when we broke up! (yes, I'm THAT much of a big deal )

jellie

Lola123 wrote: »

I loved my ex's mam. When we broke up, it felt like I was breaking up with the whole family. V. sad. SHE even cried when we broke up! (yes, I'm THAT much of a big deal )

I broke up with my bf for a couple of months (back together now), his little sisters cried about it for weeks apparently.

As far as i know his mum likes me. Think she might like me more than she likes him shes always very nice to, though ill admit i still am slightly scared of her, not cause shes a scary person, just cause shes his mum!

Nightwish

My mother cried when myself and my ex broke up. We were going out for almost 7 years, so he was pretty much part of the family. His mother though was a different story. She was friendly to me, but extremely religious and I knew she didnt approve of me and my heathen ways. She wouldnt allow me upstairs in case we got up to anything untoward. When she found condoms in her sons room she went mental and I was barred from the house for about 6 months - cos you know it was all my fault for corrupting her son.

charba

I get on really well with my OH's mum I'm jst part of the furniture now.
It helped that I did her a favour before we started going out. She is a mothering mother though and likes to protect her sons.

Nightwish

my current mother in law is lovely. She has 3 sons so she likes female company when I'm around. She's pretty glamorous and loves to show me shoes and jewellery (2 things I couldnt give a sh!t about) but I try show an interest for her sake. She always brings me out for dinner or makes me dinner.

Pythia

Himself's mother is lovely. We get on really well.

giddybootz

my boys mom is great...thank god coz i live with his whole family.....him mom, dad, big bro and dog!!!!:) i think his mom would have loved to have had a daughter so i am totally spoiled by her!!!! sometime i feel kinda bad coz she is just too good to me!!! we often hang out and gossip together or go shopping together. she is very laid back...sure she bought the double bed for our room!!!:p

now the only problem is that my mom is jealous!!!!!!:D

Seraphina

my last ex's mum was always inviting me to stay for dinner and asking me about myself and such. we weren't exactly close, but apparently when we broke up, she got quite upset and said that i'd been the best thing that had ever happened to him!

giddybootz

giddybootz wrote: »

my boys mom is great...thank god coz i live with his whole family.....him mom, dad, big bro and dog!!!!:) i think his mom would have loved to have had a daughter so i am totally spoiled by her!!!! sometime i feel kinda bad coz she is just too good to me!!! we often hang out and gossip together or go shopping together. she is very laid back...sure she bought the double bed for our room!!!:p

now the only problem is that my mom is jealous!!!!!!:D

I not setting out with the intention of offending you, but I can't understand why anyone would chose to set up shop in their partners parents house.
It is just wrong. Parents make enough sacrifices as it is!

the GALL

My ma loves my wife, cause she knows how much of a cnut my ex was:D:D:D ... HAVE TO GO KYLIE'S ON THE TELLY

iguana

My mother-in-law rang my husband at 9pm on valentines night to wish him a happy valentines. Luckily we weren't doing anything special but it seemed a bit creepy. Like she was staking her claim, or something.

She's not that bad, but she fusses so much it can drive me up the wall. I think the main problem is that there is a bigger age difference between my husband's mother and my mother than there is between my and my mother. I'm used to having a mother that I can talk to about almost anything and who I respect as much as I respect anyone. And in turn my mother treats me as an adult with views and opinions worthy of respect.

Whereas my mother-in-law just doesn't have the capability of seeing her children, and by extension her children's partners, as adults. It can drive me around the bend.

Weidii

Lola123 wrote: »

I loved my ex's mam. When we broke up, it felt like I was breaking up with the whole family. V. sad. SHE even cried when we broke up! (yes, I'm THAT much of a big deal )

Aww, yeah I broke up with my OH today and I'll certainly miss his family alot. They were hard to give up :P

Can't believe your guys mam cried, shows they liked you too I guess.

January

I love my boyfriends mam!! We get on sooo well, we even went to the pub on Stephen's Day together while himself was in work and had a good aul gossip...

We go shopping together, text each other and go out together. She's brilliant, I love her like I love my own mam!

Weidii

Weidii wrote: »

Aww, yeah I broke up with my OH today and I'll certainly miss his family alot. They were hard to give up :P

Sorry to hear about that Weidii.

iguana

iguana wrote: »

My mother-in-law rang my husband at 9pm on valentines night to wish him a happy valentines. Luckily we weren't doing anything special but it seemed a bit creepy. Like she was staking her claim, or something.

She's not that bad, but she fusses so much it can drive me up the wall. I think the main problem is that there is a bigger age difference between my husband's mother and my mother than there is between my and my mother. I'm used to having a mother that I can talk to about almost anything and who I respect as much as I respect anyone. And in turn my mother treats me as an adult with views and opinions worthy of respect.

Whereas my mother-in-law just doesn't have the capability of seeing her children, and by extension her children's partners, as adults. It can drive me around the bend.

I don't think it is just to do with age.
Alot of Irish mammies of old, who were trapped in unfulfilling marraiges. Overcompensated by channeling that energy in their children.
They just refuse to let go when the time comes, because they don't want to lose the feeling of being the centre of someones world and being in control.

The last one I encountered had a creepy pseudo-sexual realtionship with her sons.
I am in the process of trying to overcome my PTSD by blanking that from my memory, so I won't elaborate with details.

How Strange

My OH mother is always reserved around me. My OH is her favourite son (she has two, no daughters) and she liked me at first but then got rather cold around me when she saw I was sticking around. I think she probably likes me but she is fiercely over protective so a silly little statement like 'x always throws his socks on the floor' would be met with a very stern reply.

I've given up trying to fit in; she can take me or leave me now. Luckily she doesn't call around that often so its not like she smothers him with attention.

chuci

i like the oh mommy plus the whole family. think she is great and we get on well.been around for three years now so she probably got used to me
im part of the furniture now at this point.

my ex mam who i got on with quite well said i was the best infulence in her sons life and was sad to see me go im a big deal too:D