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The Pun appreciation thread!

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  • Registered Users Posts: 4,315 ✭✭✭Homer


    I became a vegetarian because I couldn't make ends meat.
    I used to eat meat, sometimes lamb and mutton else.
    I used to even eat raw meat on rare occasions!


  • Registered Users Posts: 22,777 ✭✭✭✭The Hill Billy


    I have a real beef with vegetarian food myself. That stuff is offal.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,315 ✭✭✭Homer


    Personally I don't like food going to waist.


  • Registered Users Posts: 22,777 ✭✭✭✭The Hill Billy


    I can't stomach wasted food either.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,315 ✭✭✭Homer


    I once swallowed a peach seed and could feel it in the pit of my stomach.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    I think I'm Cured of these puns.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 697 ✭✭✭oobydooby


    I never pass a good meal.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,577 ✭✭✭dak


    Burger this thread !!!! Its mutton but trouble!


  • Posts: 31,118 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    You'll get roasted for saying that!


  • Registered Users Posts: 35,524 ✭✭✭✭Gordon


    I heard that vampires aren't allowed in amateur poker tournemants any more due to the low stakes involved.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 2,577 ✭✭✭dak


    You'll get roasted for saying that!

    Meatwave ! Meateor ! Meatloaf - well 2 out of 3 aint bad !


  • Registered Users Posts: 22,777 ✭✭✭✭The Hill Billy


    Nice to see the additional posters here. They're a plus.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    I think we need puns of s different stock.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,577 ✭✭✭dak


    Hill Billy wrote: »
    Nice to see the additional posters here. They're a plus.

    If they were a minus you would have to take them away !


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,577 ✭✭✭dak


    WindSock wrote: »
    I think we need puns of s different stock.

    Laughing stock definately ! I Oxo go and dissolve into a meat stew !


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,577 ✭✭✭dak


    I wanted to meat a girl with cleaver-age but I was afraid she'd give me the Axe!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    not if you open with "how's she cuttin'?" come on chop chop!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,021 ✭✭✭Al_Fernz


    Hey Dak - that explains it. I saw you earlier and you certainly looked cut up about something. Be blunt and ask her out - a guys gotta get b-lade!


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,315 ✭✭✭Homer


    I once trained as a butcher, but I was worried I wouldn't make the cut.
    One day i backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in my work..


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    Al_Fernz wrote: »
    Hey Dak - that explains it. I saw you earlier and you certainly looked cut up about something. Be blunt and ask her out - a guys gotta get b-lade!


    No harm in making a stab at it.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,021 ✭✭✭Al_Fernz


    WindSock wrote: »
    No harm in making a stab at it.

    Agreed - knife is short!


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,577 ✭✭✭dak


    WindSock wrote: »
    No harm in making a stab at it.

    Bleedin Nora !


  • Registered Users Posts: 22,777 ✭✭✭✭The Hill Billy


    WindSock wrote: »
    No harm in making a stab at it.

    You're sharp.


  • Registered Users Posts: 35,524 ✭✭✭✭Gordon


    There's a problem in my local school with lice apparently, kidslice every where but I don't think they are too cut up about it.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,577 ✭✭✭dak


    Hill Billy wrote: »
    You're sharp.

    He that is stainless will always shine !


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,315 ✭✭✭Homer


    My writing is like my pencil... Short and sharp


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,577 ✭✭✭dak


    Homer wrote: »
    My writing is like my pencil... Short and sharp

    And to the point ?


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,315 ✭✭✭Homer


    Well, to write with a broken pencil is pointless??


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,021 ✭✭✭Al_Fernz


    I think it would be write of us to ink-lude some pen puns on this thread.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    Ok. We'll follow your lead.


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