The Pun appreciation thread!

Al_Fernz

Sorry - I can't think of any with real quill-ity. Once we get a few we should be on a rollerball.

dak

Al_Fernz wrote: »

I think it would be write of us to ink-lude some pen puns on this thread.

I was dyeing to say that ! There seems to be a lot of Bic- kering on this thread. I'm getting really Cross! Someone has talen my Paper -Mate!

Homer

Hmmm i've been a bit pensive trying to come up with a reply...

But I decided to get out my pencil sharpener as I need to make a good point.

This is the pen ultimate reply :pac:

The Hill Billy

I don't a-scribe to this carry on at all.

dak

I wrote to Ryan air to complain ! They replied saying my case was too tall and next time -use lower case !

They also denied that they have ink jets !

WindSock

dak wrote: »

I was dyeing to say that ! There seems to be a lot of Bic- kering on this thread. I'm getting really Cross! Someone has talen my Paper -Mate!

Maybe they just wanted to biro it?

dak

I asked Ryan air if they had any Pilots ? They said NO! and I was crossing a fine line ! They are a no quills airline!

WindSock

That'd be about write.

dak

Let us eat lettuce !

Beanstalk

A piece of road walks into a bar in and declares to all its occupants: "I'm the hardest bit of tarmac in the whole of this town!"

The piano player stops and the bar goes deadly silent. After a brief pause, all eyes drop, the pianist returns to playing and the piece of road pulls up a bar stool and settles down to a beer.

Five minutes later, a piece of dual carriageway throws open the bar door. Once again, the bar goes silent but for the creaking of the slow-moving overhead fans.

The dual carriageway declares: "I'm the toughest piece of tarmac you'll ever see this side of the border!"

The piece of road slowly turns and locks eyes with the piece of dual carriageway. The tension mounts, other drinkers scatter and take cover.

At that precise moment, in walks a piece of motorway which says: "I'm the hardest bit of tarmac in the whole country and I'll take you both on!"

And there they stood in a three-way Mexican stand-off for what seemed like an eternity.

Once again, the door opens and, into the middle of the stand-off, walks a strange-looking piece of red coloured tarmac with a white stripe on each side. The other three turn their backs to the door, sit down at the bar and stare sheepishly into their drinks.

The bartender sidles up to the three of them and asks what the problem is. "Shhhh!", says the dual carriageway, "Watch what you say, that guy's a real cycle path."

Beanstalk

Recently there was a Czech dude in a pub in Dublin who got horribly drunk, completely wrecked the joint and ended up breaking into the nearby post office to try and steal more money for drink.

Unfortunately he was so drunk he ended up falling into a sorting bag in the basement of the post office and immediately fell asleep.

The next morning the owner of the pub arrived at the post office with a couple of guards and demanded to know where the culprit was, as he wanted him to pay for the damage done to his pub the night before.

'Don't worry,' the postmaster told him, 'your Czech is already in the mail'.

dak

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Homer

Did you know that before a mother knows the sex of her baby it's a hidden a-gender!!

dak

1. If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she'd be Yoko Ono Bono.


2. If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she'd be Dolly Dali.


3. If Bo Derek married Don Ho, she'd be Bo Ho.


4. If Oprah Winfrey married Deepak Chopra, she'd be Oprah Chopra.


5. If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg (Hey! Now everything is possible!)
he'd be Cat Doggy Dogg.

Al_Fernz

News Update:

Police arrested the star of the new Batman movie after he a-Ledger-dly asssaulted family members. The star in question has been released on Bale.......

Homer

I heard he performed well in the movie, right of the bat.. Maybe he is a family joker is jest having fun with his elations?
Under police questioning I believe he bat-caved in though

dak

Al_Fernz wrote: »

News Update:

Police arrested the star of the new Batman movie after he a-Ledger-dly asssaulted family members. The star in question has been released on Bale.......

Further to earlier reports Police have arrested Batman and Robin !

A police spokesman said " We Gotham both redbrested"

Beanstalk

What does batman brush his teeth with?

Two-faced

Alice1

Whah?

Beanstalk

Alice1 wrote: »

Whah?

Bat(tenburg)man:



What the matter folks, are you Alfred up of Batman puns already?

Al_Fernz

I would appreciate if anyone could come up with more comic book hero puns for me to Marvel at.

tenandtracer

Al_Fernz wrote: »

I would appreciate if anyone could come up with more comic book hero puns for me to Marvel at.

That was super, man!

patmac

Al_Fernz wrote: »

I would appreciate if anyone could come up with more comic book hero puns for me to Marvel at.

No get your Phan Tom to come up with some.

Alice1

*Whimpers* Still don't get the two-faced reference Beanstalk.....

Beanstalk

Thats ok, it was an epic fail anyway!

And now, the real Batman:

dak

Alice1 wrote: »

*Whimpers* Still don't get the two-faced reference Beanstalk.....

I Wonder Woman why that is ?

The Hill Billy

That's The Thing - I don't know either, but he/she was Fantastic Four posting it in this first place.

Alice1

Hill Billy wrote: »

That's The Thing - I don't know either, but he/she was Fantastic Four posting it in this first place.

Whaddya mean he/she? I'll have you know I am a (Cat) Woman - miaow

The Hill Billy

Alice1 wrote: »

I'll have you know I am a (Cat) Woman - miaow

Pussy.



(Do I win a prize for the shortest pun ever? )

dak

Hill Billy wrote: »

Pussy.



(Do I win a prize for the shortest pun ever? )

BAA-TEAM