The Pun appreciation thread!

The Hill Billy

I got my head stuck in a small bucket yesterday & still look a little pail today.

Al_Fernz

A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife.

"You just won't believe what happened this evening, in all my years on the force I've never seen anything like it."
"Oh yes dear, what happened?"
"I came across two guys down by the canal, one of them was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks."
"Drinking battery acid and eating fireworks! What did you do with them?"
"Oh that was easy, I charged one and let the other off."

Homer

An electrician, once charged with battery, died before being recharged. Reactions were both positive and negative.

dak

Homer wrote: »

An electrician, once charged with battery, died before being recharged. Reactions were both positive and negative.

Thats a revolting joke! Or maybe I got my wires crossed !

Al_Fernz

It was a shock to me too - like a bolt from the blue.

dak

I'm going to plug away so I don't get confused ! I don't want to be browned off or get the blues ...just down to earth!

Homer

I once knew an electrician who worked on the side as a musician. He was a conductor on the train :pac:

The Hill Billy

Spark-ling humour.


If two electricians were dating - would that be a current affair?

dak

Homer wrote: »

I once knew an electrician who worked on the side as a musician. He was a conductor on the train :pac:

Watt !! Had he no amp ?

Al_Fernz

Homer wrote: »

I once knew an electrician who worked on the side as a musician. He was a conductor on the train :pac:

I got a part-time job conducting an orchestra. TBH it's more fun than you can shake a stick at.......

dak

Al_Fernz wrote: »

I got a part-time job conducting an orchestra. TBH it's more fun than you can shake a stick at.......

I also applied for that part time job ! I gave up when they said I could only be a semi-conducter and they gave the job to a pole !

Homer

dak wrote: »

I also applied for that part time job ! I gave up when they said I could only be a semi-conducter and they gave the job to a pole !

Bet you threw a tempo tantrum

dak

Homer wrote: »

Bet you threw a tempo tantrum

I blew a trumpet and got the sax! I wasn't even voilinent or base ! I even said I'd do the job for a few tenors . Even if the trebled the offer I would'nt take note of it !

Homer

Oh well Dak.. you have my symphony! Keep us posted on what happens, sounds like a real clef-hanger!

It was even more dramatic when he played at the coal mine and the piano fell down the shaft, he now has a flat minor.

Alice1

As long as there was no harmony done....

dak

Deleted User wrote: »

It was even more dramatic when he played at the coal mine and the piano fell down the shaft, he now has a flat minor.

I've had to scale back sharply . Its a cymbal of things to come ! I'm now gong with the wind !

Beanstalk

dak wrote: »

I've had to scale back sharply . Its a cymbal of things to come ! I'm now gong with the wind !

Alright, alright, no need to harp on about it.

By the way I heard recently the famous American music store (aptly named 'Song') was recently robbed and the thief made away with the lute.

When the thief was finally caught the police asked him why he broke into 'Song' and he relied that he couldnt find the right key. Very witty I must say, A# fellow indeed!

Beanstalk

Sorry folks, my previous post was Amajor fail.

Here is a more interesting fact:

When Beethoven was beginning to make a name for himself the King of Spain heard his music and wept with joy, and then demanded to meet the composer immeditately in person!

When Beethoven arrived at the King's court the monarch said to him: 'O mighty Beethoven, your music truly moves me. However I've heard that you can only write your wonderful music on paper when lying down! Pray tell me, why is this so?'

'Well m'lord' replied Beethoven, 'it's quite simple, I write my music lying down as I can only Cflat'

The Hill Billy

Do worried guitar players fret?

hussey

Hill Billy wrote: »

Do worried guitar players fret?

maybe A Minor one

bazwaldo

Hill Billy wrote: »

Do worried guitar players fret?

You have to B Sharp to answer that

Al_Fernz

Hill Billy wrote: »

Do worried guitar players fret?

Nah, and I wouldn't mention it to one either....they're very easily o-fender-ed

dak

Al_Fernz wrote: »

Nah, and I wouldn't mention it to one either....they're very easily o-fender-ed

You should get a standing Ovation ! Your very plucky !

Beanstalk

Mozart was performing his new symphony in four movements for the King and Queen of England in London. As soon Mozart took the stage it was quite clear that just before the concert began something was missing. Good God', said the King to his Queen, 'where is the bloody orchestra?'

Signaling for silence and smiling in front of a bewildered audience, Mozart suddenly stood on one leg. He then proceeded to do a handstand. Some members of the audience began to giggle, others looked on in total disgust. 'Whatever is he doing?', whispered the Queen. Mozart then done a tremendous triple backflip, before landing on his feet facing the audience, whereupon he bowed and quickly left the stage. The audience was by now in complete uproar.

After the concert the King thundered into the dressing room and roared at Mozart 'WHAT KIND OF SYMPHONY WAS THAT? HANDSTANDS? BACKFLIPS? I SHOULD HAVE YOU HANGED MAN, HANGED! EXPLAIN YOURSELF!'

'Well', said Mozart, 'standing on one leg was the first movement, while the handstand was the second.....'

Al_Fernz

dak wrote: »

You should get a standing Ovation ! Your very plucky !

Its good to see that my puns are drumming up some support.....

The Hill Billy

Al_Fernz wrote: »

Its good to see that my puns are drumming up some support.....

Blowing your own trumpet again, eh Al?

Al_Fernz

Yeah I've got a lot of brass...but you know its true - I'm no liar.

dak

Hill Billy wrote: »

Blowing your own trumpet again, eh Al?

Well if you can't find someone to sing with you have to duet yourself !

dak

Is Louis' Arm strong enough to play a trumpet?