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The Pun appreciation thread!

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    #662
    dak
    Registered Users Posts: 2,577 ✭✭✭dak


    oobydooby wrote: »
    So is it officially the end?

    What does a fish have on its back and tail ?:D:D


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    #663
    tenandtracer
    Registered Users Posts: 1,540 ✭✭✭tenandtracer


    Is this the finish? If not the Suomi!


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    #664
    dak
    Registered Users Posts: 2,577 ✭✭✭dak


    tenandtracer wrote: »
    Is this the finish? If not the Suomi!

    Maybe its sushi !


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    #665
    oobydooby
    Closed Accounts Posts: 697 ✭✭✭oobydooby


    Had to get insurance for myself and the missus the other day. I did it in Irish 'cos it's 10% cheaper. So I rang the insurers up and they asked 'Cad is ainm duit?' (nothing to do with fish). So I says "úbh Uí Dhúbhaí'... 'Agus do bhean?' ...'Hiace'.


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    #666
    dak
    Registered Users Posts: 2,577 ✭✭✭dak


    oobydooby wrote: »
    Had to get insurance for myself and the missus the other day. I did it in Irish 'cos it's 10% cheaper. So I rang the insurers up and they asked 'Cad is ainm duit?' (nothing to do with fish). So I says "úbh Uí Dhúbhaí'... 'Agus do bhean?' ...'Hiace'.

    Very witty ! You might be in trouble with your missus for comparing her to a van though!


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    #667
    oobydooby
    Closed Accounts Posts: 697 ✭✭✭oobydooby


    Her vanity has increased since the comparison.


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    #668
    gabigeist
    Closed Accounts Posts: 121 ✭✭gabigeist


    Saw a dude squatting behind a gravestone in the old Hugenot graveyard on Baggot Street. I thought "what the hell's he at? I'm letting him know that I see him"
    So I shouted "Morning"
    And he shouts back, "nah, just taking a ****"


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    #669
    The Hill Billy
    Registered Users Posts: 22,777 ✭✭✭✭The Hill Billy


    So, it used to be a graveyeard & now it is a dump?


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    #670
    tenandtracer
    Registered Users Posts: 1,540 ✭✭✭tenandtracer


    Yeah it's where you get in"turd"


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    #671
    The Hill Billy
    Registered Users Posts: 22,777 ✭✭✭✭The Hill Billy


    Deadly!


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    #672
    dak
    Registered Users Posts: 2,577 ✭✭✭dak


    tenandtracer wrote: »
    Yeah it's where you get in"turd"

    Are you dead serious ? I think you need to undetake not to mortify us all ! I had a fit of coffin and nearly blew a casket !


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    #673
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 31,118 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    It's a grave decision to joke about the dead, deadpan humour now, I can just see all the old wans being dug up and being aired here again.


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    #674
    dak
    Registered Users Posts: 2,577 ✭✭✭dak


    Deleted User wrote: »
    It's a grave decision to joke about the dead, deadpan humour now, I can just see all the old wans being dug up and being aired here again.


    This humour is going over my head --stone! I'm RIPping mad !


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    #675
    YULETIRED
    Registered Users Posts: 1,709 ✭✭✭YULETIRED


    my suddenly late father had just got a new watch with diamond on it's hands, every second was precious as he had a dodgy ticker ,. so on the face of it his time was up anyway, and the date was set, so it was not as alarming as you'd expect. This could be true or it could be a wind up.


    Watch it


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    #676
    gabigeist
    Closed Accounts Posts: 121 ✭✭gabigeist


    Its about time someone clocked in with a keeper.

    It tockled me pink!


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    #677
    Shacklebolt
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,418 ✭✭✭Shacklebolt


    Time flies like an arrow.

    Fruit flies like a banana.


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    #678
    oobydooby
    Closed Accounts Posts: 697 ✭✭✭oobydooby


    Shacklebolt wrote: »
    Time flies like an arrow.

    Fruit flies like a banana.

    Low flies like a zip-up.


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    #679
    dak
    Registered Users Posts: 2,577 ✭✭✭dak


    Fish love flies ! Chinese love fries too !


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    #680
    Hagar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,793 ✭✭✭✭Hagar


    Einstein was born March 14, 1879. He would be 129 if he were alive today. Few people remember that the Nobel Prize winner married his cousin, Elsa Lowenthal, after his first marriage dissolved in 1919. At the time, he stated that he was attracted to Elsa because she was so well endowed. He postulated that if you are attracted to women with large breasts, the attraction is even stronger if there is a DNA connection. This came to be known as Einstein's Theory of Relative Titty.


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    #681
    dak
    Registered Users Posts: 2,577 ✭✭✭dak


    At last Dublin is now a reigning champion ! Outstanding in its field! Its the Tolka of the town!


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    #682
    oobydooby
    Closed Accounts Posts: 697 ✭✭✭oobydooby


    The rain is incestant. Was it a Dubh Linn scientist who found black holes using Einstein's Theory?


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    #683
    dak
    Registered Users Posts: 2,577 ✭✭✭dak


    I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit
    going to those places."


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    #684
    Shacklebolt
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,418 ✭✭✭Shacklebolt


    oobydooby wrote: »
    The rain is incestant.quote]

    Sounds like fun for all the family.


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    #685
    SoWatchaWant
    Registered Users Posts: 1,213 ✭✭✭SoWatchaWant


    Watch out, he's got puns of steel! In the House of the Rising Pun.


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    #686
    The Hill Billy
    Registered Users Posts: 22,777 ✭✭✭✭The Hill Billy


    SoWatchaWant wrote: »
    he's got puns of steel!
    I've got plenty of mettle all right. Just back from holidays too, & am nicely bronzed.


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    #687
    dak
    Registered Users Posts: 2,577 ✭✭✭dak


    Bob was not the only one arrested for growing marijuana when the cops found out that it was actually a joint venture.


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    #688
    Al_Fernz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,021 ✭✭✭Al_Fernz


    dak wrote: »
    Bob was not the only one arrested for growing marijuana when the cops found out that it was actually a joint venture.

    They really made a hash of their venture


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    #689
    The Hill Billy
    Registered Users Posts: 22,777 ✭✭✭✭The Hill Billy


    Al_Fernz wrote: »
    They really made a hash of their venture

    All that hard work went up in smoke.


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    #690
    Al_Fernz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,021 ✭✭✭Al_Fernz


    I have developed OCD and an addiction to masturbation while watching the women's weightlifting event.

    Seeing a nice snatch always makes me clean and jerk.


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    #691
    WindSock
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    dak wrote: »
    Bob was not the only one arrested for growing marijuana when the cops found out that it was actually a joint venture.


    Somebody must have grassed him up.


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