The Pun appreciation thread!

Sherifu

I suppose it is floundering a little

Capt'n Midnight

Indian researchers have developed an antidote to bad humour. One injection will disable that bit of your cortex for word association.
It's been described as a Punjab.

randylonghorn

Pfft! Stop needling people!

Capt'n Midnight

Bought some hob nailed boots in Scotland last week.
I asked the salesman if they would be comfortable, and he told me to try them outside. It was like walking on Ayr.

Capt'n Midnight

Was Hagar serious ? He has the mussel to do it but do you think 'eel close the thread is it just huff fin and puffin or will he stay on his perch.

Not as easy as it seemed, whiting puns. I gannett think of many.

Much more of this and I won't think the boards subscription is worth sick squid a month.

*Exits stage left, in a motorpike and side carp*

Capt'n Midnight

A man bought a cattle ranch for his sons and named it the 'Focus Ranch' because it was where the sons raise meat.

A pun is the lowest form of humor, but poetry is much verse.

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

Immanuel doesn't pun, he Kant

Then there was the butcher who sat on the meat slicer, he got a little behind in his work.

It's an ellipse not a circle of love, you see a kiss is a lip tickle.

Hagar

Be the hokey, if this keeps going salmon will feel the sole of my boot.

Beanstalk

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Indian researchers have developed an antidote to bad humour. One injection will disable that bit of your cortex for word association.
It's been described as a Punjab.

Getting one of those evil injections can have repercussions. It could result in getting bad korma. You may however seekh a cure from the oldest living indian grandmother alive (affectionately referred to by all Indian people as the 'great naan'.).

(Yes I do have an Indian menu in front of me as I speak.....but I'm tired now and it's time to go to bed, i'd say i'll be asleep before my head hits the pilau.....not to mention it'll only be six hours sleep before i have to rice again in the morning)

Sherifu

Hagar wrote: »

Be the hokey, if this keeps going salmon will feel the sole of my boot.

Everyone will clam up now.

Beanstalk

Hagar wrote: »

Be the hokey, if this keeps going salmon will feel the sole of my boot.

Ah sure this is all only a bit of boysterous fun.....

Capt'n Midnight

Don't char think there's plenty of good examples trout this thread ?

I'm having a right whale of a time so don't spoil it or you'll be making anemone

Beanstalk

why don't you make a banana and split....

why don't you make like a dog and flea......

why don't you make like a missile and cruise....

why don't you make like a sheperd and get the flock outta here.....

and...my personal favourite.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaOnrAh2xSs

el_barty

Beanstalk wrote: »

why don't you make a banana and split....

why don't you make like a dog and flea......

why don't you make like a missile and cruise....

why don't you make like a sheperd and get the flock outta here.....

and...my personal favourite.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaOnrAh2xSs

Make like my nose... and run!

Make like the Morse Code... and dash!

Make like a gazelle... ant elope! (sorry)

WindSock

I'm sure there are still plenty we could fish around for.

Capt'n Midnight

WindSock wrote: »

I'm sure there are still plenty we could fish around for.

Yes but you seaweed only annoy Hagar so much he write a poisson pen letter.

Un oeuf is an úbh.

Rolotomasee

If you guys keep this up you'll end up with your heads on a pike. Wait a minute...I sea how this works! I'm making a big splash in the pun appreciation thread. Reminds me of the time I got arrested. Thank god my parents were up for baleen me out. Though I got a halibut talking to. I'd never seen such angler. They nearly scalloped me.

gollyitsolly

Rolotomasee wrote: »

If you guys keep this up you'll end up with your heads on a pike. Wait a minute...I sea how this works! I'm making a big splash in the pun appreciation thread. Reminds me of the time I got arrested. Thank god my parents were up for baleen me out. Though I got a halibut talking to. I'd never seen such angler. They nearly scalloped me.

Eggstraordinary!:D:p

Beanstalk

Rolotomasee wrote: »

Reminds me of the time I got arrested. Thank god my parents were up for baleen me out. Though I got a halibut talking to. I'd never seen such angler. They nearly scalloped me.

Last time I saw a wailbone, it couldn't stop crying, it was baleen its eyes out.

On another note, did you hear about the illiterate fisherman who was lost at c? He was searching for a red herring but no one would have thought he would have went so overboard as to go missing......

Why didn't the newspaper editor take a gateaux to work, because you can't have your cake and edit!

Booms

I bought some fiendish fish fingers, but when I got home, I found they were fresh frozen bird's eyes.

pebbles21

guy gets a job in dublin zoo asks the boss what to do,was told to clean out the avery and ends up stepping on a finch,goes down to the boss and tells him ,boss not too happy tells him throw it into the lions cage they ll eat it, and then clean out the monkey cage,he cleaning then whacks a chimp in the neck with his brush and kills it,again tells his not to happy boss,tells him to throw it the lions cage again, then clean out the bee hives,he drops loads of honey on the bees and there all mushy and dead again tell his furious boss,tells him again to throw the bees into lions cage and dont go near any more animals again

next day dublin zoo gets a new lion,the new lion is put in with the other lions and then says to another lion"whats this zoo like ???is the food ok???"

lion says "ahh.... ye should have been here yesterday we had...finch,chimp and mushy bees!!!!!!!":D

johnnybastardo

I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him $50 that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, 'no, the steaks are too high.'

el_barty

So you have a whale, and you need to get it weighed. Where do you take it?
















To the whale weigh station.

Now you have a pie, and you need to get that weighed, where do you go for that?
















Somewhere over the rainbow, Weigh A Pie

Sherifu

johnnybastardo wrote: »

I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him $50 that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, 'no, the steaks are too high.'

Bloody coward.

Beanstalk

Maybe the steaks didn't come down be cause they were undercover and didn't want their identity blown, maybe they were on a steakout.

Sherifu wrote: »

Bloody coward.

Nay, it's the steaks that are the bloody cowards, they're nothing but spineless lumps of meat....

Thrill

Beanstalk wrote: »

Maybe the steaks didn't come down be cause they were undercover and didn't want their identity blown, maybe they were on a steakout.



Nay, it's the steaks that are the bloody cowards, they're nothing but spineless lumps of meat....

Cattle trying to escape their inevitable doom are a bunch of cow herds tbh.

Beanstalk

Thrill wrote: »

Cattle trying to escape their inevitable doom are a bunch of cow herds tbh.

yeah, i agree, but what about the way pigs are treated? I mean they're treated so bad and they have such a sh1tty lifesty that they just want to die anyway, by the time the butchers come they're probably just bacon to be killed by them.....

Thrill

Beanstalk wrote: »

yeah, i agree, but what about the way pigs are treated? I mean they're treated so bad and they have such a sh1tty lifesty that they just want to die anyway, by the time the butchers come they're probably just bacon to be killed by them.....

Terrible thing to say about pigs but i suppose you could have been rasher.

WindSock

Hey, quit hoggin the pig puns.

Well it's better than telling porkies!