The Pun appreciation thread!

dak

Homer wrote: »

As a Psychiatrist I prefer Kentucky Freud Chicken myself

Thigh Agree that the chicken comes after the egg !

Sharpshooter

Darn chicken is always pecking on the egg , it's fowl behaviour.:(

dak

And the dam Cok is alway up....cockadodiling at dawn !

Sharpshooter

Dawn , however , will always duck out of her duties ,leaving you a little down , feather you like it or not.

dak

Bill , on the other hand will always Gander after eider Dafy or Daphne as Dawn didn't turn out as well as she quacked up to be !

Sharpshooter

Ah , see.
Dafy and Daphne won't have anything to do with him . Now , that's eiderdown to the fact that they don't like him , or they found out about all the lies he's been shelling.

Brien

this thread isnt very punny at all

Sharpshooter

Sorry for the lateness in replying , you ommited the full stop , and I thought you weren't finished sbeaking , I'll duck out now , and let you get on with it.
Just in case you swan to reply.

CutzEr

But the swan is completely allwhite with the grammar mistakes.

heh heh my first try :P ever srsly ever

Sharpshooter

Well you've got some neck on ya.:D

CutzEr

The swan pecked his neck to a wreck :P

dak

Sharpshooter wrote: »

Well you've got some neck on ya.:D

Sure fits the bill!

Hagar

A termite walks into a bar and asks "Is the bartender here?”.

Sharpshooter

A good pun is its own reword.

dak

Hagar wrote: »

A termite walks into a bar and asks "Is the bartender here?”.

Wood you like it to be ?

getz

peter wont fly on virgin airlines--he says he wont go with anything that dosent go all the way

Sharpshooter

That's virgin on the ridiculous.

dak

Sharpshooter wrote: »

That's virgin on the ridiculous.

Madonna Agrees with you just............ like a virgin.

I think Peter is in a bit of a pickle ! ........A British Branson Pickle !

dak

Aaaahccee wae have a punshun cut ....cuud yae appreciate itt! What a load offf conbbblers !

Beanstalk

A neutron walks into a bar and says "I’d like a pint, please." After the bartender gives him one, he says "How much will that be?"
"For you?" said the bartender "No charge."

Busi_Girl08

That last one was shocking!!!!

(Sorry, I'm new to this:o)

Sharpshooter

I'd volt for you.

dak

Sharpshooter wrote: »

I'd volt for you.

Watt ?

Beanstalk

Oh grow up, wattage are you supposed to be anyway? :P

Two calories fell out day and decided to settle it in violent combat. The first one said 'when should we stop?' and the other said 'never!, this is a joule to the death!'

Busi_Girl08

Brian Cowen's recent attempts to repair the damage to the currant economic problems have been strongly criticised.

When a reporter from the RTE asked him for the raisins for the cuts in Child Allowance, he responded by saying "Orange you aware that we are all responsible? We all need to make sacrifices, we need to appley these changes ASAP"

Cowen's attempts to gain the confidence of the Irish public have since proven fruitless.

Sharpshooter

He doesn't appeal to me at all.

kwestfan08

Sharpshooter wrote: »

He doesn't appeal to me at all.

Me neither but I respect core beliefs

Sharpshooter

Oh, me too.
He still gives me the pip though.

dak

Sharpshooter wrote: »

He doesn't appeal to me at all.

Gutted you to the core ? There is loads of un-zest becaz of the zee bull poop from Herr Cow and the udders who think they are outstanding in their field !

Sharpshooter

When they get the job,they milk it for all it's worth.
They have some hide on them,and no one ever grasses the up.