The Pun appreciation thread!

dak

Acoustic Guitar: Oh. Wanna go upstairs and watch a movie?

Electric Guitar: Wanna quit being creepy?

Acoustic Guitar: C'mon... it's cool, dude. No need to FRET!

Electric Guitar: Oh, good one. That was really a clever guitar pun. You're a regular Jay Leno.

Acoustic Guitar: Quit PICKING on me.

Beanstalk

Acoustic Guitar: Come upstairs with me baby, i can promise you there will be no strings attached.....

Electric Guitar: Jesus you have some neck on ya...

The Volt

A G N B :

That's bang out of order.

Beanstalk

If this governement wants to distribute the swine flu vaccine effectively and quickly, it'll needle the help it can get....

The Volt

Better send them packin' quickly

dak

Voltwad wrote: »

Better send them packin' quickly

Good Sausage jest john !

Liquidtip

Sign on the music room door: "Out to Lunch. Bach at 1

Alice1

Sign on the Shakespearian theatre door:

Back soon.
Godot

dak

A toast To the bull in the pasture,


" May he live for heifer and heifer " !

Paul The Hat

I was camping on the weekend and was almost arrested for loitering within tent

dak

You crack me up.
Not to laugh at this one means you're hard boiled.
I can't afford to shell out
Just keep your sunny side up, 'cause I'm fried.....
no wonder there aren't more chicks.....
You guys are poaching all my best yolks.
For Egg-sample,
egg-cellent
eggs-treme
egg-citing
egg-stavagent
egg-speriment
egg-splosive
egg-tortionate
egg-static
eggs-traordinary
eggs-tra terrestrial
egg-sotic
egg-sactly
egg-stracted
eggs-cavation
egg-saggerate
egg-saust
egg-xam
egg-samine
egg-ceed
egg-cel
egg-cept
eggs-change
That's all yolks

Paul The Hat

well that certainly has me beaten

dak

I had to help a friend trim the fur off his little canine companion the other day . It was a moment of shear terrier.

dak

Giving Praise is when you let of esteem !

The Hill Billy

dak wrote: »

Giving Praise is when you let of esteem !

That's gas.

dak

Opening a new funeral parlor can be quite an undertaking.!

Paul The Hat

then of course you have to make sure that the graveyard is the dead centre of town

dak

A male snake charmer married a female undertaker. Their bath towels read "Hiss" and "Hearse".

Paul The Hat

well lets hope he didnt make a grave mistake

dak

Sky have won the rights to show the World Origami Championship. It's on paper view.

BOHtox

Every calendar's days are numbered.

dak

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

Paul The Hat

ah sure its only a pigment of your imagination

dak

When I questioned the livestock delivery company as to whether or not they could quickly move some donkeys. They said they could haul ass.

Doolee

Two hats on a hat stand. One said to the other, "you wait here, I'll go on a head"...!

dak

Decimals have a point.

Paul The Hat

two goldfish in a tank and one turns to the other and says "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

dak

1000 pairs of underwear were stolen out of Pennys in Swords last week! Gardai have now closed the case after making a brief enquiry!

chughes

dak wrote: »

1000 pairs of underwear were stolen out of Pennys in Swords last week! Gardai have now closed the case after making a brief enquiry!

Was the knicker nicker nicked ??

JohnThomas09

Paddy and Tom were on a plane to England.

Paddy turns to Tom and says: 'If this plane turned upside down,would we fall out?'

Tom turns to Paddy and says: 'How would we fall out?We've been friends for years.'