The Pun appreciation thread!

Fago!

chughes wrote: »

Brian McFadden is just about to release a new album.

It's going to be called "How to Dismantle An Atomic Kitten".

Credit where it's due - I heard this on Colm & Jim Jim on 2FM this morning.

I'd say when he get's it done he'll be flying without wings!

Sharpshooter

dak wrote: »

A toast To the bull in the pasture,


" May he live for heifer and heifer " !

May he never be dung living his life.

dak

What happens when you talk to a Jamaican cow?

- It goes in one ear and out da udder!!!

Mrmoe

dak wrote: »

What happens when you talk to a Jamaican cow?

- It goes in one ear and out da udder!!!

I don't agree, I have no beef with cows, it's jamaican me angry just thinking about it.

dak

A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper.

komodosp

I'm not sure if the wheel was the greatest invention ever... But it was certainly the most revolutionary!

Beanstalk

I once made a paper hat, many people thought it looked funny, so i thought id call it a foolscap.....

SchweppesUTD

lul

dak wrote: »

What happens when you talk to a Jamaican cow?

- It goes in one ear and out da udder!!!

Lul !:D

Sharpshooter

Beanstalk wrote: »

I once made a paper hat, many people thought it looked funny, so i thought id call it a foolscap.....

Gandhi commited the sin of theft when he stole that hat.

Everywhere he went a voice called out Mahatma Gandhi..

K-9

Where ever I lay my hat, thats my home.

Sharpshooter

K-9 wrote: »

Where ever I lay my hat, thats my home.

That's a line from a song.:p

Heres another one:

Song song pun everybody knows one..:cool:

/look it up..Neil Diamond..

/subtitute Blue for Pun..:p

dak

New ash cloud moving towards Ireland Air travel up in the air!

dak

Ryanair now say that the planes in Belfast were not grounded by ash, just Shorts !

Sharpshooter

dak wrote: »

New ash cloud moving towards Ireland Air travel up in the air!

I'd say those with holiday plans and tickets didn't like it when that landed on them.

Did anyone ash them how they felt?

ctrl-alt-delete

Has this thread not been sewn up yet?

dak

afrayed Knot !

chughes

ctrl-alt-delete wrote: »

Has this thread not been sewn up yet?

I hope not, it has me in stitches.

Sharpshooter

It's a darn good thread, so it is.

dak

Brother ... I thought you were a Singer !
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Mods : Could you over lock this thread !

Sharpshooter

How unseamly of you.

Sew little time left.

Micilin Muc

These puns are getting a little thimble.

Sharpshooter

Hem..can we move on as the fabric of this topic is wearing thin.

FishFood

It's likely weave exhausted the possibilities alright, shame though as I love a good yarn.....

dak

This thread has made me laugh so much i was in stitches and now have pins and needles !

willyg

ask Eamon Dunphy...he's a PUNdit afterall

dak

I asked a lad at work who is a bit backward if he wanted to hear a good pun......he said .....nup !!!

chughes

A priest was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when a guy ran over to him and emptied a container of Domestos over him.

Police arrested the guy and he's been charged with a bleach of the priest.

Sharpshooter

Did they say, " Your under Domestos"?

And did he come clean to the charge?

dak

chughes wrote: »

A priest was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when a guy ran over to him and emptied a container of Domestos over him.

Police arrested the guy and he's been charged with a bleach of the priest.

The drunken guy who threw the Domestos said he was only getting revenge...... he claimed the priest ran off with his Blue Nun !

The Hill Billy

A plethora of puns...

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis..
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture is a jab well done..