The Pun appreciation thread!

dak

The Irish lass was disappointed with the engagement ring from her fiance because it was a sham rock.

Sharpshooter

I bet it took zirconica a minute for her to get quartz about it.

dak

I decide which beer to drink on a case by case basis.!

dak

I'll admit to not being much of a plumber so when I tried to repair my toilet I couldn't get a handle on it.


I knew my wife was pregnant when she looked at me with fertilize.

dak

Nearly forgot about this thread !

Cos


I'm inclined to be laid back.

Sharpshooter

I'm egging on the next user that bumps this thread.

dak

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

willyg

dak wrote: »

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

If your Anti is married whats your uncle's name?

FoxT

I Just unblocked a toilet. I Am flushed with my success, as it had been driving me round the bend. Not only can I use it , but so can my brethren & cistern.

I hope this sets off a chain reaction.

- FoxT

dak

ANDREX ....Have put you on their roll of honour.

mathepac

Why did the ballerina wear a tu-tu?

Because the one-one was too small and the three-three was too big.

chughes

FoxT wrote: »

I Just unblocked a toilet. I Am flushed with my success, as it had been driving me round the bend. Not only can I use it , but so can my brethren & cistern.

I hope this sets off a chain reaction.

- FoxT

None of your lavatorial humour here please !!!!

Busi_Girl08

chughes wrote: »

None of your lavatorial humour here please !!!!

Now you're just being potty. :P

dak

Busi_Girl08 wrote: »

Now you're just being potty. :P

Sounds like you're being pampered ...Baby!

FoxT

Dak, you are on a roll.

I like pampers myself, on the whole.

I am not sewer that we should continue in this vein, though, too alimentary!

dak

FoxT wrote: »

Dak, you are on a roll.

I like pampers myself, on the whole.

I am not sewer that we should continue in this vein, though, too alimentary!

Are you a Bog man ?

FoxT

No, but I'll be turfed out of this thread if I continue.

Anyway the lav puns were starting to peater out.

dak

Have you visited www.conjunctivitis.com?
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It's a site for sore eyes

FoxT

A bit too highbrow for me. Might be worth giving it a lash though.

dak

I had a vision ! I can see out of the cornea of my eye that you would be a great pupil !

FoxT

Oh, Dek, you can make such a spectacle of yourself at times

dak

40 lashes to you for such an insult !

FoxT

A friend of mine just started his own business,
making landmines that look like prayer mats.
It's doing well. He says Prophets are going through the roof.

FoxT

....and business is booming.

dak

Yesterday I was talking to an arsonist .We spent all day debating about housefires. It was quite a heated argument.

FoxT

my sister fell in love with an arsonist. She carried a torch for him for months. They eventually split up, after a blazing row.

dak

I wnt out with an arsonist for months. She never stopped talking and we broke up when I told her to Zip it !

FoxT

Was her name Fia by any chance?

chughes

dak wrote: »

I wnt out with an arsonist for months. She never stopped talking and we broke up when I told her to Zip it !

Do you consider her to be an old flame now ?

dak

chughes wrote: »

Do you consider her to be an old flame now ?

Certainly.. ever since I went to bed with a fire blanket !