The Pun appreciation thread!

dak

CUD we have a few cow puns ! Its a long time since we have been grazy and now that winters coming we are all friesian....no bull !

chughes

Pull the udder one, pat.

FoxT

What happens when you talk to a cow with an afro?

- It goes in one ear and out da udder!!!

Busi_Girl08

That was just offal.

proon4

Busi_Girl08 wrote: »

That was just offal.

Your really milking this thread

Busi_Girl08

proon4 wrote: »

Your really milking this thread

Hey, I see an opportunity, and I make a mooooooove.

Scartbeg

Two cows stood in a field.
"I'm Freisian" says the first cow.
"No problem, there's a Jersey over there" says the second...

FoxT

Stop mincing ye're words here, the steaks are getting higher all the time, and so far it has all been bull. (Cheeses my mind is empty, I need to fillet with new inspiration.)

BTW , are Irish cows Cattle-icks?

Shin a bhfuil.

dak

FoxT wrote: »

Stop mincing ye're words here, the steaks are getting higher all the time, and so far it has all been bull. (Cheeses my mind is empty, I need to fillet with new inspiration.)

BTW , are Irish cows Cattle-icks?

Shin a bhfuil.

Cattle don't like prods !

dak

The cow and bull mated in a heap of dung. The next morning the cow said "man 'ure great last night!
.
.
.
.
.
I think this pun is a load of S**te !

t4k30

This guy, Artie, gets tired of working so hard and not getting anywhere, and seeing all these guys in the Mafia in their fine three piece suits and fancy cars, decides that he has to join the Mafia.

He goes up to one of the guys and says, " I want to join the Mafia."

The guy answers, " You ever kill any one for money?"

Artie answers, "No."

The guy says, " Well, you either got to be born into the mafia, or you gotta kill somebody for money."

So Artie says, " How much will you pay me?"

The guy says, " I'm not gonna pay you."

Artie says, " C'mon, just pay me a dollar so I can get in."

The guy says, " Okay, I'll tell you what. You kill somebody, tell me about it, and if I see it in the morning paper, I'll pay you a dollar."

Artie says, " Oh thank you, thank you!" and heads off on his mission. He goes to Ralphs Supermarket, sees an old lady pushing a cart, and decides that she's lived a full life, goes up to her, grabs her round the neck and chokes her to death.

The bag boy sees him, and chases after him. Artie realizes that he can't out run the bag boy, turns around, grabs the bag boy by the neck and chokes him to death.

In the morning paper the headlines read, " ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A DOLLAR AT RALPHS!"

dak

They let a large cow into the Playboy Mansion, and called it Huge Heifer.

Sharpshooter

That's some beef you have with Playboy Mansion, any udders?

dak

Sharpshooter wrote: »

That's some beef you have with Playboy Mansion, any udders?

I think I need some bovine intervention !

dak

The Taoiseach was asked what he does when faced with a mountain of debt for the Irish people. He replied that he tries to move it but its virtually impossible so he gives up and says he just cant budget !

AWard

That was so bad it was good....*applause*

dak

While the Pope announced that condoms could be used sometimes on some moral grounds Spike summed it up by saying condoms should be used at every conceivable occasion !

ayatollah

Deafness is getting to be quite a problem for me lately. I never thought I'd hear myself say that.

Sharpshooter

dak wrote: »

I think I need some bovine intervention !

You're milking this, I'd steak my life on it!:mad:

I've herd them all.:pac:

dak

Sharpshooter wrote: »

You're milking this, I'd steak my life on it!:mad:

I've herd them all.:pac:

AHHHH mUDDER !.............will you stop squeezing me !

dak

“Did you hear about these new reversible jackets? I'm excited to see how they turn out.”

dak

A Fireman was sitting on a bench when his trousers went on fire ......police think it was an Arson fire attack !

hussey

I was beaten to a lead role in a film, and have vowed revenge on Matt Damon ever since. I'll make him wish he'd never been Bourne.

Sharpshooter

hussey, you are Damon!

Off to the Punitentiary with you.

dak

hussey wrote: »

I was beaten to a lead role in a film, and have vowed revenge on Matt Damon ever since. I'll make him wish he'd never been Bourne.

That Cad...bury was born in Bourneville.......not many people know that! Its a fine dark secret ! Just as the Lady asked for ! Like never before !

PS: I might be on flakey ground here ! Thats the twirl in the end but being Turkish ....it really delights me !

chughes

dak wrote: »

That Cad...bury was born in Bourneville.......not many people know that! Its a fine dark secret ! Just as the Lady asked for ! Like never before !

PS: I might be on flakey ground here ! Thats the twirl in the end but being Turkish ....it really delights me !

That's sweet, we're starting to milk chocolate puns now.

dak

chughes wrote: »

That's sweet, we're starting to milk chocolate puns now.

See You Rowm 3 ....if you can remember what 2 & 2 was !

Sharpshooter

dak wrote: »

PS: I might be on flakey ground here !

It did crumble a bit there.

Taxi for dak....

dak

Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself.

Sharpshooter

This sparks my interest, wire we compelled to answer here?