More Irish Jokes

mickrourke

Fifteen minutes after the Titanic sank, Michael and Patrick find themselves hugging a piece of wreckage from the great ship. The water is freezing, sharks are swimming nearby, and, of course, the Titanic is long gone.
"Oh well," says Michael, "It could have been worse."

"Worse? How could it have been worse?" screams Pat.

"We could have bought return tickets."


An irishman walks into a pizza shop and orders a large pepperoni pizza. The man behind the counter and asks him "Do you want it cutting into 6 or 12 pieces" to which the irishman replies "Oh, just 6, I couldn't eat 12".


Zookeeper says to Paddy, "The gorilla is on heat and we need someone to marry (wink, wink) it. Would you consider marrying (wink, wink) it for €1000?".
Paddy replies, "I will on 4 conditions:
1st I'm not going to kiss it.
2nd my family must never know.
3rd. The kids must be brought up as catholics
and
4th I'll need a couple of weeks to get the cash together!"

Awesomo-4000

how many irishmen does it take to change a light bulb???


2 - one to change it and one to sing a folk song about how good the old lightbulb was.

Feral Mutant

Awesomo-4000 wrote: »

how many irishmen does it take to change a light bulb???

2, one to hold the bulb and one to drink till the room spins.

Plug

A Paddy walking through a field sees a man drinking water from a pool with his
hand. The Paddy shouts "Na ol an t-uisce, ta sé lan de chac bo" (Don't drink the
water, it's full of cow****.) The man shouts back "I'm English, speak English, I
don't understand you". The Paddy shouts back "Use both hands, you'll get more
in."

redzerdrog

Plug wrote: »

A Paddy walking through a field sees a man drinking water from a pool with his
hand. The Paddy shouts "Na ol an t-uisce, ta sé lan de chac bo" (Don't drink the
water, it's full of cow****.) The man shouts back "I'm English, speak English, I
don't understand you". The Paddy shouts back "Use both hands, you'll get more
in."

LOL