2 Quicks

rocky25

A husband and wife are out shopping.

The husband picks up 10 cans of Stella and puts them in the trolley.

The wife takes them out saying “they cost £10 that’s way too expensive.”

Further down the aisle she puts a £20 jar of face cream in the trolley.

He says " hold on a minute now that’s definitely way to expensive”

The wife replies “but darling it makes me look beautiful”

The husband says “so does 10 cans of Stella but at half the fooking price"


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A beautiful woman went to the gynecologist.

The doctor took one look at the woman and all his professionalism flew out the window.
He immediately told her to get undressed.


After she disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh.

While doing so he asked her,


'Do you know what I am doing?'


'Yes,' she replied, 'you are checking for abrasions or dermatological abnormalities.'

‘that’s right,' said the doctor.


He then began to fondle her Breasts.


'Do you know what I am doing now?' he asked.


'Yes,' she said, 'you are checking for lumps which might indicate Breast cancer.'

'Correct,' replied the shady doctor.


Finally, he mounted his Patient and started having sex with her.


He asked, 'Do you know what I am doing now?'








'Yes,' she said, 'you’re getting herpes: which is why I came here in the first place'

KamiKazi

lol at the second one

mickrourke

rocky25 wrote: »

A husband and wife are out shopping.

The husband picks up 10 cans of Stella and puts them in the trolley.

The wife takes them out saying “they cost £10 that’s way too expensive.”

Where is this shop? 10 Stella for a tenner, count me in!
Even I look good after 10 Stella for a tenner, or so my girlfriend says

Sherifu

Gollum would look good after 10 stellas

mickrourke

Sherifu wrote: »

Gollum would look good after 10 stellas

I do not look like Gollum!
:mad::mad::mad:

He has better hair and wears more clothes than me, otherwise pretty similar though i will give you

Sherifu

Mick, honest to God, I would NEVER insult Gollum like that

mickrourke

Sherifu wrote: »

Mick, honest to God, I would NEVER insult Gollum like that

And anyway where would Gollum get Stella?
He'd never take his finger out of the Ringpull if he did