Two Quick ones

rocky25

A Scotsman phones a dentist to enquire about the cost for a tooth extraction.

"£85 for an extraction, sir" the dentist replied.

"£85!!! Huv ye no'got anythin' cheaper?"

"That's the normal charge," said the dentist

"Whit aboot if ye didnae use any anesthetic?"

"That's unusual, sir, but I could do it and knock £15 off.

"Whit aboot if ye used one of your dentist trainees and still without an anesthetic?"

"I can't guarantee their professionalism and it'll be painful. But the price could drop to £40".

"How aboot if ye make it a trainin' session, ave yer student do the extraction with the other students watchin' and learnin'?"

It'll be good for the students", mulled the dentist. "and it's going to be very traumatic, but I'll charge you £5."

"Och, now yer talkin' laddie! It's a deal," said the Scotsman.

"Can ye confirm an appointment for the wife next Tuesday, then?"

O O
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URGENT – Liverpool Earthquake Appeal.

Please give generously...

At 00:54 on Thursday 10th October an earthquake measuring 4.8 on the
Richter scale hit Liverpool, UK causing untold disruption and distress.

Many were woken well before their giro arrived.

Several priceless collections of mementoes from the Balearics and
Spanish Costas were damaged.

Three areas of historic and scientifically significant litter were disturbed.
Thousands are confused and bewildered, trying to come to terms with the
fact that something interesting has happened in Mersyside.

One resident, Donna-Marie Dutton, a 17 year old mother-of-three said "It
was such a shock, little Chantal-Leanne came running into my bedroom
crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it.

I was still shaking when I was watching Trisha the next morning."
Apparently though, looting did carry on as normal. The British Red Cross
have so far managed to ship 4000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to
help the stricken masses. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings including
benefit books and jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos.



HOW YOU CAN HELP
£2 buys chips, batter scraps and blue pop for a family of four
£10 can take a family to Seaham for the day, where children can play on
an unspoiled slagheap among the national collection of stinging nettles
22p buys a biro for filling in spurious compensation claims
PLEASE ACT NOW
There are collection points available at your
local branches of Argos, Lidl and Aldi.
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