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Is he gay/ bisexual?

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  • 09-03-2008 8:53pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I have always had feelings for this guy as we know each other since we are teens and have a little history. Anyway I was at a party with him on friday we left together Sat morning and spent the whole day together, one thing led to another and we ended up having sex. Then he told me that hes had sexual encounters with two guys, one as recently as last weekend. I asked him does he think hes gay or not and he said he doesnt like "labels" which is fair enough, Ive never really believed in bisexuality, I always thought you are either straight or gay, now Im not so sure, part of me is wondering if he will come out as gay one day. Im not expecting anything more between us, the other night was a bit of fun but thats it. Im really glad he came and told me as he admitted its the first time hes told anyone so it was prob good for him to have somebody to talk to.

    As I mentioned I wasnt really a believer in bisexuality, has anyone else had any experiences like this or the one my friend confessed to me? Is it likely that one day he will admit hes gay?


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    #2
    Sapien
    Closed Accounts Posts: 997 ✭✭✭Sapien


    I do not understand why people "don't believe" in bisexuality. What is so implausible about it?


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    #3
    Dashticle
    Registered Users Posts: 177 ✭✭Dashticle


    Eh, are you a guy or a girl OP?


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    #4
    Redscrapbook
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13 ✭Redscrapbook


    bisexual?gay? wrote: »
    I have always had feelings for this guy as we know each other since we are teens and have a little history. Anyway I was at a party with him on friday we left together Sat morning and spent the whole day together, one thing led to another and we ended up having sex. Then he told me that hes had sexual encounters with two guys, one as recently as last weekend. I asked him does he think hes gay or not and he said he doesnt like "labels" which is fair enough, Ive never really believed in bisexuality, I always thought you are either straight or gay, now Im not so sure, part of me is wondering if he will come out as gay one day. Im not expecting anything more between us, the other night was a bit of fun but thats it. Im really glad he came and told me as he admitted its the first time hes told anyone so it was prob good for him to have somebody to talk to.

    As I mentioned I wasnt really a believer in bisexuality, has anyone else had any experiences like this or the one my friend confessed to me? Is it likely that one day he will admit hes gay?

    I think its a guy...see as above, its quite obvious.


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    #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Sorry, I forgot to mention, Im a 26yr old guy. I just never had any indication that my friend was gay before this time as he has always been v popular and with the ladies.


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    #6
    azezil
    Registered Users Posts: 11,397 ✭✭✭✭azezil


    I got the impression the OP's a she based on this line...
    one thing led to another and we ended up having sex. Then he told me that hes had sexual encounters with two guys


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    #7
    Dashticle
    Registered Users Posts: 177 ✭✭Dashticle


    Redscrapbook wrote: »
    I think its a guy...see as above, its quite obvious.

    Yes, but all those words you highlighted are referring to the other person, not the OP. ;)

    Yes, I'd say your friend the definition of bi, but I also agree with him, I hate labels.


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    #8
    claire h
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,056 ✭✭✭claire h


    What do you mean you don't 'believe' in bisexuality? It's not the tooth fairy...

    If this guy doesn't like labels then that's fair enough. Yes, some people say that because they don't want to 'admit' that they're gay. Others say it because they believe it, or because the either/or approach to sexuality, gay-or-straight, doesn't work for them. For some people, even the gay/bi/straight thing mightn't fit perfectly with how they view their sexuality. ('Bisexual' tends to be used as a catch-all for anything that isn't 100% straight or 100% gay, which is problematic in itself, but anyway....)

    So your friend might decide that he wants to identify as gay, but it would be equally valid for him to decide on bisexual as a label, or indeed to continue resisting any kind of label (which in itself is kind of a label/identity).


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    #9
    zenmonk
    Closed Accounts Posts: 413 ✭✭zenmonk


    claire you speak sense


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    #10
    willowthewisp
    Registered Users Posts: 1,023 ✭✭✭willowthewisp


    Difficult


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    #11
    MCMLXXXIII
    Closed Accounts Posts: 412 ✭✭MCMLXXXIII


    OP - who cares what he is? What are you looking for? A good mate with benefits every once in a while? He would be perfect!
    Sapien wrote: »
    I do not understand why people "don't believe" in bisexuality. What is so implausible about it?
    It's not really that unbelievable (imho), it's just an effect of socioety always wanting definate answers. Most gay guys don't want to deal with secret lives so they come out, and they persuade their friends to come out. If someone that is bisexual comes out, it makes people feel estranged...even girls. Then the girls won't date someone that's bisexual because then their friends think that she is also wierd. So then it forces the guy to be with only men. Personally, I believe it's possible, but social pressures make it very difficult.


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