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Men are happier

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  • 10-03-2008 10:32pm
    #1
    patmac
    Registered Users Posts: 7,575 ✭✭✭


    Men Are Just Happier People
    NICKNAMES
    If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura,
    Kate and Sarah .
    If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other
    as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

    EATING OUT
    When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in €20, even
    though it's only for €32.50.
    None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they
    want change back.
    When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

    MONEY
    A man will pay €2 for a €1 item he needs.
    A woman will pay €1 for a €2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

    BATHROOMS
    A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving
    cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
    The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
    A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

    ARGUMENTS
    A woman has the last word in any argument.
    Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

    CATS
    Women love cats.
    Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

    FUTURE
    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
    A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

    SUCCESS
    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

    MARRIAGE
    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

    DRESSING UP
    A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins,
    answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
    A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

    NATURAL
    Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
    Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

    OFFSPRING
    Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.
    She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite
    foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
    A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

    THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
    A married man should forget his mistakes.
    There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.


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