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7 yr old afraid to play

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  • 18-03-2008 6:56pm
    #1
    Redpunto
    Registered Users Posts: 2,024 ✭✭✭


    My 7 year old seems afraid to play with the other children on the street. He gets other kids calling for him to play outside but he does not want to go outside. I have to sometimes insist that he does out. Today I got him to go out and 4 other boys were playing ball out the back and all he did was stand to the side and look at them. What will I do with him? Hes breaking my heart.


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    #2
    Oryx
    Subscribers Posts: 19,425 ✭✭✭✭Oryx


    What does he say when you ask him why? Is he able to tell you? Do you have another pal of his (that he is very used to) who could go with him, until he finds his feet with whoever else is there? Kids can be so shy, he may just need someone with him to help him mix.

    You also need to make sure he's not being picked on by anyone.


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    #3
    TequilaMockingBird
    Registered Users Posts: 4,392 ✭✭✭TequilaMockingBird


    Maybe try going out when its just you and him first? Muck around with the ball when you know the other kids are due to be out, alot of kids this age would find it a novelty having a grown up out playing ball, and hopefully they will just naturally join in, and with a bit of luck you could just sidle off then.

    Its very hard watching your child afraid to mix. One kick around with them and he'll probably be grand.


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    #4
    Deliverance
    Registered Users Posts: 1,674 ✭✭✭Deliverance


    Redpunto wrote: »
    My 7 year old seems afraid to play with the other children on the street. He gets other kids calling for him to play outside but he does not want to go outside. I have to sometimes insist that he does out. Today I got him to go out and 4 other boys were playing ball out the back and all he did was stand to the side and look at them. What will I do with him? Hes breaking my heart.
    Give him time to find his feet and try not to show him that your 'heartbroken' by his shyness, shy kids are very very sensitive and will pick up on that I feel.

    From experience: My little brother was chronically shy and I looked after him at times, all he needed really was someone to engage with him and boost his confidence from within. Surprisingly I found that family members felt that he had a condition (backwardness) due to his shyness he picked up on this and he acted accordingly as he picked up on the general feeling.

    Ps if it's any comfort my little brother had an actual condition which was undiagnosable by the doctors / professionals the best they could offer as an explanation was that he had a perceptually different way of viewing the world and people. Twas only the actual engagement between myself and him that brought him out of his shell slowly but surely. Tis all about trust in a way.

    He had all the intelligence of a normal kid for his age but he just hid it by his lack of confidence ie: he couldn't write his own name 'apparently' at a late enough age, but when I engaged with him and gave him total attention he just wrote it with a little encouragement ie: he was on track so to speak but was to shy to show it. All he needed was someone to engage him and have the time and patience to do so.

    He is thriving now and is very popular with his peers, he is still very sensitive but it is a plus for him as the girls flock to him. I think by that experience and from what you have described that your little one just needs some extra attention that others don't need. Hope that makes sense and is some kind of help. To summarise, I think he needs someone that he trusts to bring him out of his shell slowly but surely.


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    #5
    Snowdrop
    Closed Accounts Posts: 148 ✭✭Snowdrop


    Does he have friends in school? My advice would be to have him invite a school friend home and encourage them to go out to play. I do that with my son and it works quite well. Alternatively invite one or two of the local kids in to the house to play.

    I found with my own son that drama club was great for building confidence. I took him to Junior Musicals every week when he was four. In the beginning he used to panic when i dropped him off and I had to walk away listening to him cry but this didn't last and it was the best thing I ever did for his confidence.

    The only other suggestions I have are to enrol him in activities and sports/art camps over the holidays. This will probably help his confidence. Otherwise there is not a lot you can do really. He will only mix when he is ready.


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