Jealous much?

Peared

Having just perused the modelling forum request thread I gotta say, jealousy is not an attractive trait.

Do yiz think, that the main reason women b*tch about other women is cos they are jealous of them in some respect?

I think a lot of women are suspicious of women who are very good looking and maybe judge them more readily than they would a plain girl. Of course good looks are only one of the reasons to be jealous. There's also a sexy/famous partner, a promotion, a windfall, the fact that a woman stays at home with kids/works, a natural ability or talent.

So do we judge others based on something lacking/wanting in ourselves?

Niamho!

Mmm-hhmm.. Girls are terrible for it. i know girls who just NEVER have a good word to say about a blatantly Attractive girl. Ever.
i was like that in my teens a bit.
I think it just shows how insecure the slgger is themselves.

theres another thing....i told a mate recently that i didn't like another one of her mates, it was when we were quite drunk. and she's one of these that ive met on various nights out over the last 5 years or so, and i CANNOT get to know this girl no matter how hard i try. its like she cant really be arsed. so i spilled all this to my friend and she said to me "Its because you're competition" :eek::eek: competition for What!? now....i'm not a stunner or anything...but i just couldnt believe this. couldn't believe that anyone would be that shallow! but i think theres alot of girls that are. and i get on Great with her Best mate. love her to bits like. :mad:

Macha

Well I think a lot of women feel that their physical appearance is one of their main cards in life and so if they feel that they don't have that it can be stressful.

WindSock

Being good looking is a lot harder than you would think

I do feel a more comfortable around less stunning girls, but as for the Models thing, I am not jealous of their occupation. At all. I just failed to see what there could be to talk about, really.

I bitch about other Women not when I feel threatened by their looks, but when they act like stupid geebags.

I don't see anything nasty in that thread.....has it been deleted?

When you say that alot of women judge goodlooking people...judge them in what way?

I don't get jealous people. One of my closest friends is like this, and if anything she has very high self esteem.
Always has, she is very competative though, and always wants to be doing better than others.

Peared

I dont believe I used the word nasty moonbaby.

"judge" is meant in the usual manner.

The Sweeper

I think it works in two ways.

When I was younger, I had some friends who were rated as stunners. I didn't feel intimidated by them particularly, but when we were very young - teenagers - they were told by so many people that they were so stunning that they used to be very patronising. It was as though they became utterly convinced of their own loveliness by the complements, and just presumed they could outbid me for any bloke, or would be better than me at stuff generally.

It took me until my mid to late twenties (slow, eh?) to realise quite how patronising they had been! Any minor success I had in my life was treated with "Awwww isn't that sweet" and when we moved into adulthood and I started to outpace them I lost touch with pretty much every last one.

I also had a friend who broadly announced she was going to be a model. That was it. She was going to be a model, she was going to get a portfolio done, and she'd preen and pose and pout. She was, at best, a middling attractive girl and at 5ft 6, she hadn't a hope in the industry really. I was more astounded at her certainty than anything else.

I would have too much sense and life experience to rate myself as a stunner. I also don't believe in false modesty, so when I trawl out the clag bag and rack up the boobs, I know I will get a second look when I go out - I also know that's not saying much these days.

My personality, however, leads far past my appearance. I come across as a confident and capable person and I think that's been more of the cause of people who don't know me making snap judgments about disliking me than my appearance has.

I think some women are bitches because some women can have very low self images - I say if you're 21 and gorgeous and working it however way you want to, be that with hair extensions and acrylic nails and you're using the paint pot to turn every head in the street, good for you.

Lastly, a modelling forum on boards.ie is going to be beset by ridiculousness.

No you didn't, I thought it was implied when you started a thread in reaction and said that someone was jealous and that wasn't attractive. And the thread has been locked.


I think if your really attractive, you get more attention because you are memorable and stand out. That can be both good and bad, sometimes it greases the wheels of your life and sometimes it is brings negativity and trouble. It is easier to blend in, but I don't think it helps much with the begruders.
Alot of these people won't bother measuring themselves against perfect 10's, they are worried about the people in their league, their neighbours, relatives, friends.

cuckoo

Peared wrote: »

So do we judge others based on something lacking/wanting in ourselves?

Hmmmm, I don't know if we would really 'judge' each other due to a lack in our own lives - for instance, a lot of us on here had a bit of fun posting about ppl who wear their pjs in public. I don't think many of the posters in that thread actually want to be wearing their jimmy jams in Dublin's city centre at 2pm....

So, judgement can be used to feel a little superior, as a form of female bonding (there's a reason some offices have so many copies of Heat magazine floating around, it's the only thing that ppl can safely talk about with work colleagues that they dislike....) and when we were younger probably a lot about bullying and excluding ppl too.

The green eyed monster however is something that I would defo say is related to things I want myself. Whether it's the gym bod, the happy relationship or the satisfying career - these are things i've observed in friends and felt a twinge of envy. I use those twinges as an early warning system to let me know what areas in my life need a little TLC.

RuailleBuaille

I actually thought it was quite a funny thread, I don't know how you inferred jealousy from that OP

I agree with Cuckoo about jealousy sometimes being a means to bond, but I also think it's a very basic human emotion used for motivation, to drive us forward. It's what has driven civilisation for the last century, keeping up with the Joneses and all that jazz, and I guess bitching is just a by-product of that.
There is of course the feel-threatened kind of bitching, but that's no different to male animals attacking each other in the wild, only with us ladies it's a psychological one-upwomanship. Part and parcel of being human, we all do it, there's just varying degrees of it depending on your self-esteem/ ambition etc.

Caddy

When I see a majd post in a thread I sit back with my cup of coffee and prepared to be educated, excellent post as usual.

Jealously is a horrible trait but unfortunately can be a natural part of life, everyone may suffer with it from time to time. It’s the way you deal with it though that sets you apart. Some can bitch, backstab and bully the object of their jealously, others can use it as a positive like cuckoo mentioned above by looking at themselves and seeing what they are lacking.

pretty*monster

Peared wrote: »

I think a lot of women are suspicious of women who are very good looking and maybe judge them more readily than they would a plain girl. Of course good looks are only one of the reasons to be jealous. There's also a sexy/famous partner, a promotion, a windfall, the fact that a woman stays at home with kids/works, a natural ability or talent.

I think the "you're just jealous" argument is the most irritatingly overused ad hominum in the book. It drives me absolutely crazy.
It's very bad form to attack an argument based on what you think your opponent feels rather than what they have said.

There's nothing on the modeling thread that necessarily implies jealousy.
it's perfectly conceivable that one might be contemptuous of the notion that one needs a forum to discuss modeling without actually being jealous of models.

LadyE

I think jealously is a horrible trait in someone…but we are all guilty of it! As happy as you can be for someone a tiny part of you can think “I wish that was me!”…so normal!!

As regards to the other thread..harmless joking I think!!! Well, on my part anyway!

Maple

I didn't read anything on the modelling forum thread that can be miscontrued as jealousy. What did I miss?

Vespian, i lol'd at your post in the modelling thread. Hilarious.

OT I'm not going to slag a girl off because she's attractive, its pathetic and is such an ugly trait in a person. Thankfully i'm a little more secure in myself than to do so. If she's a silly bint, then its open season but not because she's pretty.

And as an aside to the topic, do you ever wonder when you pay a woman a compliment why alot of times they can never simply say Thank You. You compliment their top and its like "oh this old thing, bought it in Penneys". Or you're looking great, have you lost weight? "No, I've put on 10 stone, sure look at my love handles" and then proceed to pinch their nonexistent hips. Its like they need to denigrate themselves in order to fit in, or not to seem full of themselves.

Dragan

Hmmmmm, either i have a very enlightened group of female friends or they are all just really nice people.

Then again, my female friends are also highly attractive.

None of them have any kind of attitude at all when it comes to other peoples looks, interests, views etc.

In my experience i have noticed it more that very good looking girls who have obvious personality flaws try and play the victim of circumstance as oppossed to take a long honest look at themselves.

In college i knew one girl who was convinced the whole female world was out to get her. This girl was absolutely stunning, former model and all that jazz but dammit she was also inconsiderate, greedy and a bit of a user to boot.

No fear of her realising that at the time until i had a good long chat with her and explained that maybe sometimes she rubs people up the wrong way.

Personally i think the modeling forum is a waste of time as it won't actually help anyone acheive anything and the majority of people who i know who are actually in the modelling business don't even know enough to help people out. They just sit around till the phone rings. This is Dublin, not New York for crying out loud. I love seeing "models" over here running around talking about themselves as if we should be impressed.

I imagine the above views would be seen as jealousy if it wasn't for the fact that i am gorgeous.

Lux23

Peared wrote: »

Do yiz think, that the main reason women b*tch about other women is cos they are jealous of them in some respect?


So do we judge others based on something lacking/wanting in ourselves?

Its why I do it sometimes. Except of course when the subject really is a complete C**T. I am bit wary of moaning about people until I know the listener isn't a fan either, it never looks good.

@Dragan Clever women never moan about other women in front of men!! Its a rule for me anyway.

LadyE

maple wrote: »

I didn't read anything on the modelling forum thread that can be miscontrued as jealousy. What did I miss?

Vespian, i lol'd at your post in the modelling thread. Hilarious.

OT I'm not going to slag a girl off because she's attractive, its pathetic and is such an ugly trait in a person. Thankfully i'm a little more secure in myself than to do so. If she's a silly bint, then its open season but not because she's pretty.

And as an aside to the topic, do you ever wonder when you pay a woman a compliment why alot of times they can never simply say Thank You. You compliment their top and its like "oh this old thing, bought it in Penneys". Or you're looking great, have you lost weight? "No, I've put on 10 stone, sure look at my love handles" and then proceed to pinch their nonexistent hips. Its like they need to denigrate themselves in order to fit in, or not to seem full of themselves.

I can relate to that..if someone says I liek your top/hair etc I ouwldnt mean to put it down..but I do with the whole I got it in pennys, it was 50c/its too dark/i have love handles thing..some people just cant take a compliment..maybe as to not look vain or whatever..couldnt really tell you.

Edit: My top wasnt 50c..but you'll get what I mean

Dragan

Lux23 wrote: »

@Dragan Clever women never moan about other women in front of men!! Its a rule for me anyway.

Eh, me and my friends talk about everything?

Maybe we are unique!

But i doubt it, besides, i seem to be the go to guy for my female friends with regards to other woman trouble. Not sure why!! lol

Jules

My honest opinion... i don't slag off better looking women, i generally say... She is gorgeous, i fucking hate her.. bitch. But that just reflects on my own self consciousness and such. Usually follow it up with bet she is a lovely person too.

Maple

LadyE wrote: »

I can relate to that..if someone says I liek your top/hair etc I ouwldnt mean to put it down..but I do with the whole I got it in pennys, it was 50c/its too dark/i have love handles thing..some people just cant take a compliment..maybe as to not look vain or whatever..couldnt really tell you.

Edit: My top wasnt 50c..but you'll get what I mean

I do.

I don't understand it myself, if someone compliments me I always say thank you. And i like something about someone, then I say it to them. I don't understand the need to run themselves down really.

Lux23

Dragan wrote: »

Eh, me and my friends talk about everything?

Maybe we are unique!

Yea. I have a bit of trouble believing that.

all the stars

Peared wrote: »

Do yiz think, that the main reason women b*tch about other women is cos they are jealous of them in some respect?

I think a lot of women are suspicious of women who are very good looking and maybe judge them more readily than they would a plain girl.

So do we judge others based on something lacking/wanting in ourselves?

em, not all women are like this, i do have friends who would cut a woman to pieces coz they wish they had her hair/figure or whatever..

i however (wait for it - as a woman, i know men never hear this) am very happy with my body, and feel fine just as i am - imperfections & all and have no complaints or desire to change my body thru surgery or going hungry....

Also, i can apreciate an attractive woman and would have no problem to say so, even my other half says - wow - at someone, i dont get a complex, i just say yeah/ no she is/is not lovely..

Now- and, i never ever, ever asked "do i look fat in this.." coz if you thought you looked horrible, you'd just go get changed into something else wouldn't you?:)

I have had girls snipe at me coz im in grand shape even though i am as lazy about exercise - i had a grown woman say to me in the middle of dinner (coz i eat when hungry) "that will catch up with you in a few years" and smiled.. just nasty.. oh well..!:D

Dragan

Lux23 wrote: »

Yea. I have a bit of trouble believing that.

*grins* If either people want to let something as simple as being a different gender get in the way of communication thats not out problem!!

LadyE

maple wrote: »

I do.

I don't understand it myself, if someone compliments me I always say thank you. And i like something about someone, then I say it to them. I don't understand the need to run themselves down really.

Me niether...doesnt stop myself from doing it.

I think ill make a concious effort to stop tho..there is no need to point out your insecurities to people..

On the other point..I have no problems what so ever complimenting other girls..none at all. I say it as I see it!!

I do occassionally do the same a Jules tho

"She is gorgous.......BEYATCH!":D - but its tongue in cheek

RuailleBuaille

pretty*monster wrote: »

I think the "you're just jealous" argument is the most irritatingly overused ad hominum in the book. It drives me absolutely crazy.
It's very bad form to attack an argument based on what you think your opponent feels rather than what they have said.

There's nothing on the modeling thread that necessarily implies jealousy.
it's perfectly conceivable that one might be contemptuous of the notion that one needs a forum to discuss modeling without actually being jealous of models.

Excellent post, I don't think there was anything that came across as jealousy in the modelling thread, especially given that none of us knows what the OP looks like. I'm thinking you might have a rather more finely tuned radar than the rest of us OP?

LadyE

all the stars wrote: »

em, not all women are like this, i do have friends who would cut a woman to pieces coz they wish they had her hair/figure or whatever..

i however (wait for it - as a woman, i know men never hear this) am very happy with my body, and feel fine just as i am - imperfections & all and have no complaints or desire to change my body thru surgery or going hungry....

Also, i can apreciate an attractive woman and would have no problem to say so, even my other half says - wow - at someone, i dont get a complex, i just say yeah/ no she is/is not lovely..

Now- and, i never ever, ever asked "do i look fat in this.." coz if you thought you looked horrible, you'd just go get changed into something else wouldn't you?:)

I have had girls snipe at me coz im in grand shape even though i am as lazy about exercise - i had a grown woman say to me in the middle of dinner (coz i eat when hungry) "that will catch up with you in a few years" and smiled.. just nasty.. oh well..!:D

I absolutly HATE that..that just jealousy!!!

My mother does that alot...really annoys me...its just her own insecurities tho!

g'em

Lux23 wrote: »

Yea. I have a bit of trouble believing that.

Trust me, Dragan is my closest male friend (one of my closest friends, period) and we talk about everything and anything. There's nothing I can't talk to him about that I'd rather share with a girl. Having said that if I want a girl's point of view I'll talk to a female friend. If I want a boy's pov I'll talk to a guy.

Dragan

g'em wrote: »

Having said that if I want a girl's point of view I'll talk to a female friend.

Awesome, so i'm STILL a dude! Wooohooo!

all the stars

LadyE wrote: »

I absolutly HATE that..that just jealousy!!!

My mother does that alot...really annoys me...its just her own insecurities tho!

yeah... lots of people are like that.. its shocking,...
Last chrimbo, i met a girl i was friends with in school (and this girl was a very close friend at the time but jealous of everyone who she felt looked thinner/prettier)

I hadn't seen her in years.. i went over, in a pub, and was like hiya!! the first sentance wasn't hi - how ya been? First words to pass her lips were " so, i see your still eating whatever you want & still a skinny bitch" ... now that was enough...:o

If she got a boyfriend she'd say to me & our othwer good friend "oh, he seen both of ye and wanted me... ":eek:
Its frikkin mad.. i was just happy for her... weirdo!

LadyE

all the stars wrote: »

yeah... lots of people are like that.. its shocking,...
Last chrimbo, i met a girl i was friends with in school (and this girl was a very close friend at the time but jealous of everyone who she felt looked thinner/prettier)

I hadn't seen her in years.. i went over, in a pub, and was like hiya!! the first sentance wasn't hi - how ya been? First words to pass her lips were " so, i see your still eating whatever you want & still a skinny bitch" ... now that was enough...:o

If she got a boyfriend she'd say to me & our othwer good friend "oh, he seen both of ye and wanted me... ":eek:
Its frikkin mad.. i was just happy for her... weirdo!

That is wierd!! But again, her insecurities..just smile sweetly and ignore...not your problem!

Dudess

My mate's GORGEOUS - Cheryl Tweedy gorgeous. Amazing face, skin, curvy figure - hot. Therefore she must be a c*nt according to other girls I know. And she'll steal your boyfriend. And because she likes to look good and she's very feminine she must be a really girly bint type.
But I can guarantee she is NONE of the above - the others are just jealous. She is an absolutely wonderful person. And yet she finds it hard to make friends with girls and a lot of girls hate her.

It's such an ugly and dark trait...